Current Day
Xander
Glass.
Blood.
Some other wet, sticky substance I couldn't identify. But they were all part of my visual field now. As was the smoke.
A roaring in my head was the only sound I was aware of in the chaos. Ignoring the pain in my neck, I reached for my reason for living. "Imani." My voice was more of a growl than anything else, and I could barely get the words out. Trying again, I croaked out, "Imani."
I reached for her, but instead of reaching for me and grasping my hand, her palm was lifeless and cool to the touch. I forced myself to turn a little more, swallowing the pain. "Imani, wake up. Love. Jesus Christ! Oh my God! Please. Please. Please. Wake up. Please, God."
I yanked on my seat belt. Why couldn't I move?
I mentally cataloged the aches and pains, assessing my injuries. Everything hurt. I was sore in places I didn't even know I could be sore in. But my concern was not for myself; it was for Imani, my fucking wife. And Jesus, the baby.
Someone had done this to her. She wasn't moving. "Sweetheart. Please, God. Please, wake up. Wake up."
And then the deafening silence around us began to dissipate. Slowly. One sound, then another. I heard the shouts. The screams. The sirens. I heard myself. My voice getting traction now. "Wake up, Imani!"
I squeezed her palm, but she didn't squeeze back. My fingers turned to find her wrist, pressing to locate her pulse. I did the one thing I hadn't done in a very, very long time.
I prayed.
I squeezed my eyes shut and I spoke to God. Buddha. Anyone I thought might listen. Take me. Take me! Not her. She does not deserve to die.
If anyone deserved to die, it was me. I was an arrogant, selfish prick. I didn't deserve her, nor did I deserve to live. God, please take me.
I felt the faint thud, thud at my fingertips, and I was thankful. But something didn't feel right. Her pulse should be stronger than that, shouldn't it?
There was someone at my door, and I shook my head, directing him to the other side. "No, her side. She's unconscious. Help her."
But they weren't listening. They were opening my door, and hands were reaching in.
I shook my head. "No, help her."
Still, they didn't listen, and a hand reached for me. I tried to fight them, but I couldn't fucking move.
The next thing I knew, somebody was cutting off my seatbelt and they were pulling at me. I tried to fight them off, but I was sluggish, uncoordinated. Fuck, what was wrong?
Then I saw people at her door, opening it, pulling her to safety at last.
They were helping her. Oh, thank God. Please, please. She was all I had. She and the baby were the only things grounding me. She couldn't die. I wouldn't let her die.
Then they were putting me on something hard, unmoving. A stretcher? I was fine. Everything hurt, but I was fine. They needed to help her. I tried to roll over, but someone put his hand over my shoulder. "Oi, mate. Lie still. We're trying to save you."
I shook my head, trying to remove the mask he was placing on my face. "No. Don't save me. Save her."
His face was stern as he frowned, but his voice was gentle. "We are saving her. You'd be no good to her dead. So lie still and let me get the oxygen on you."
My gaze swung to her. "Please. She's all I have."
She was the love of my life, and I hadn't taken care of her.
I had done this. My hubris was the reason she was here. From the moment I'd met her, I'd put her on this collision course. This was my fault. If she died, I was one hundred percent responsible. And I was never, ever going to forgive myself.
***
Xander
One week.
One solid week, I'd sat in this chair.
A solid week I'd spent holding my wife's hand, insisting that if they were going to treat me in any way, they had to treat me right next to her. I wasn't willing to be away from her.
It was one of those times I'd pulled every string I could. Because there was no way in hell I would leave her.
I'd emerged from the accident surprisingly well.
Despite a broken left wrist and a fractured collarbone, I was mostly fine.
Imani had several broken ribs and some internal injuries, including a ruptured spleen. Our daughter, surprisingly, was unscathed. Her heartbeat was still strong, and she was fighting.
Imani's last surgery had been that morning and the doctors said she should be waking up any moment, but still, she wasn't up. Her dark eyes weren't rolling at me. I hadn't seen her smile in seven days. Seven days since I'd made a decision that would forever impact us. I had messed up.
You can fix it.
And I was going to fix it.
There was a knock at her door, and I called out, "Come in."
"Mate, it's good to see you up and about."
I nodded at my brother. "Hey, Lex."
"How is she today?"
I shook my head. "More of the same, I guess."
"What did the doctors say?"
"Just that she should be awake. But she's not."
Wake up my love. I'm a selfish bastard, and I need you. I kept talking to her because I heard somewhere that you're supposed to talk to people in a coma. So I continued to verbally walk her through our everyday lives. And it wasn't full of roses, but it was full of love. I talked so our daughter could hear my voice and know I was waiting for her, that I wanted her to keep fighting.
I talked to keep myself from going crazy.
Lex deposited the flowers he'd brought for her into a vase, simultaneously scooping out the wilted ones from a couple of days ago and tossing them in the garbage. "Look, you know how strong she is. She's going to get better. You've got to believe that."
"Oh, I believe it. In the meantime, I need to do something."
My brother narrowed his gaze at me. "Xan, I know that look. You and I both know that look does not lead to happiness."
"What look?"
"You know, the look of hatred and revenge. We've been down this path before."
"Yeah, and it worked. He got what was coming to him."
"Yeah, but at what cost, Xan? You? You can't do that shit anymore. A week ago, you were ready to sign on to be Mom's successor. This isn't you."
"It's absolutely me. What? Just because I fell in love, you think I've been tamed? Nope. I'm still a prick. A prick who, when fucked with, will fight to protect his own."
Lex leaned against the wall. "I hear you. Do you think I don't want to protect her? She's my family too, Xan."
I worked my jaw. I wanted to lash out at him and tell him that Imani wasn't his family, she was mine. Mine to protect. But I knew what he meant. And it was true. My wife was his family, and his wife was mine. We'd all walked through the fire together.
We'd survived the skeletons of our past and those that threatened our futures. We'd been through a lot together, the four of us, so she was his family. But she was still my responsibility. "Lex, you don't want any of this. Whatever I do, it's going to be ugly, and you need to protect Abbie from it. I'm planning on making this right."
He shook his head. "Xander, you need to listen to me. I know this hurts. I know that you want revenge on the person who hurt her. I want that too, but revenge is not justice. What you're thinking… I can see it on your face. We've already been down this path. It turns you into someone you're not."
"And who said that I'm not that person?"
Fury simmered just under my skin. A long time ago, I had one hundred percent been this person.
But then you found her. And she made you a better person.
She did make me better. But now she was lying in a fucking hospital bed and wouldn't goddamn wake up no matter what I said. No matter how much I prayed. Begged. Pleaded. She wouldn't fucking wake up because someone had done this to her. So as far as I was concerned, that someone was going to pay with their life. I met my brother's silvery slate—colored gaze, so like my own, and his eyes were narrowed in concern. "Lex, I need to do this. If this had happened to Abbie, you'd do the same thing."
I waited for him to try and deny it, to try and tell me that he wouldn't go down this path, but I knew my brother. When the chips were down, he would do whatever it took to protect his family, just like I would.
I took Imani's hand and pressed it in mine. She'd always had the worst circulation. Her fingertips were cold as I leaned forward and kissed her knuckles. "It's okay, angel. You rest. You wake up when you're ready. No matter what, I'll be here. In the meantime, while you get some rest, I'm going to deal with the people that did this to us. No one is ever going to hurt you again."
That sounds like a familiar promise.
Four years ago when I met her, I was a completely different person. One who believed in doing whatever I had to do to get the job done. And now I had to channel that person. But I'd had so much love in the last four years, gone through so many changes, I wasn't sure if I could.
Well, you'd better figure out a way, because if you don't, they're going to get away with this.
Lex cleared his throat. "Do you want me to sit with her for a while?"
I shook my head. "No, you go home to Abbie. I'm just going to sit here and talk to her a little longer.
He nodded and gave me a faint smile. "Are you going to tell her the story of how you met again?"
"You know what? It's not a bad idea. Maybe that's what she needs to hear to wake up. In the meantime, can you make some calls for me?"
He sighed and nodded. "It's already done, Xander."
I met his gaze and lifted a brow. "So, all that talk about not getting revenge was bullshit?"
He shrugged. "Well, I was hoping to talk you out of it, but I know you too well. And if it was me, I'd want the same thing. I'll let you know what I hear. In the meantime, you tell Imani the story of how you met. Let's guarantee to wake her up so she can slap you."
I chuckled softly. "Yeah, you probably have a point there."
At least I hoped he did. I would do absolutely anything to get back the woman I loved.
Four Years Ago…
