September 6 | 11:59 p.m. | Victor's Diary
College will start in a day and if anyone ever tells you that I'm ready to go through that hell again, just slap them in the face. Hopefully, that'll keep their mouth shut till the next year.
I'm never gonna be ready for that place. It's like my own personal hell with a little spice to bring me nightmares and fears that I didn't even know existed!
Hopefully, this year will be better.
I'm being sarcastic
maybe
I guess so
okay, no, I'm not being sarcastic. I really do hope so
I've been telling that to myself ever since I finished first class. One might think I must have already given up but I'm one hell of a stubborn bitch.
So yeah, I don't know what I'm supposed to do this year to make a change but then, maybe I should let mother nature decide my fate and guide me.
That's probably the reason my school life is still like this. But what can I say? Even thinking makes me tired!
It's not my fault though.
I'm just too lazy for life.
God could've made me some other way. Totally their fault then. I am just a poor human soul who got created on a hangover day of God. Then we can also blame alcohol.
I don't think anyone's ever going to read you my beautiful diary
I'll kill anyone who dares to
but I still feel the need to explain myself.
But you can't judge me though. You're not human. You see diary, humans are awful. They judge and give hate and do many shits. Except me though.
I'm awesome
The only thing that people may or may not say that is a bad thing that I did, in my entire life is sleeping around.
But truly, sex is indeed very pleasurable. One might wonder
and by one, I mean Jackie
that I lack affection or have some problems at home but the answer is no. I have a great family and life is good.
I just like the pleasure.
Very much.
Then there's the fact that I'm sure God has no problem with it. Since he made me pansexual and as a pansexual, I can tell you resisting is really hard.
Wherever I go, I see hot people. And seeing hot people calls for being hot-headed. That's my logic. Sue me.
And then there's the fact that I'm a dominant bottom when it comes to sleeping with guys and every now and then I like to fuck guys instead of getting fucked by them so that will leave me with totally unlimited options.
Can I blame that on God too? I know it's bad to put blames but their God! And God is supposed to be strong so I don't think they mind a human to blame them now and then.
Yeah?? I just hope mom and mama won't read this. I don't need them knowing about my sex life. That'll be just weird and awkward.
I really need to get a lock for you, my sweet diary.
Today has been a very weird day. Not weird weird though. Just unexpectedly weird.
I saw Santa.
Kidding! Kidding!
I saw Angel.
The Angel. The one that I slept with many times in high school's junior year. And he was with his sister, Emma. Also, the one that I slept within that year. But only once.
Simple note for my beautiful mothers if they are reading my diary WHICH I DO NOT APPROVE OF! PUT IT DOWN! And oh, the note: Do not continue reading because it's getting hot in here and I don't want to face my moms who read about my sexual scenes!!!!!!
He hasn't changed over the two and half years. A little bit tanner than before. His dark skin was one of my favorite things about him. AND he still blushed when he saw me.
To be honest, Angel is literally the best sex that I ever had. The moment I laid eyes on him I just knew he was the submissive top that??ll let me have my way and OH HOLLY HEAVENS HE DID! It was just freaking awesome! He was so tender it actually broke my heart. Don't ask me why.
When I was making marks on his body, he just held me and moaned freely in my ears
which to be honest, not very boys do
and that really turned me on.
I think I'm getting hard?? CHANGE OF PERSON!
Emma though. She is a psychopath. She and Angel are brother and sister. Well?? half brother and sister. I didn't feel bad sleeping with Emma after I slept with Angel but at least I hoped he mentioned how much of an obsessive person she is. What's done is done.
She was good in bed. I'll give her credit for that. But in life?? trust me you'll never want to see someone like her.
Today's encounter was weird. Angel still looked interested and I kinda like him. In bed though. I don't even know him to be honest. Not that much anyway.
He blushed when I acknowledged him and it was such a turn-on. When a tall, jockey, well-built, and H O T guy submits, I just want to pin them down and just be with them
in that way
from dusk till dawn.
Praise for my favorite singer, Sia, my forever beloved
To be honest
ok moms, I'm not sure if you guys are still reading but I have a bad feeling. Please S T O P!
I would like him to fuck me again. I don't like to get people attached but the idea of him under me and inside me it's just?? holy heaven I need to get laid by someone soon!
It's enough whining for today, my dear diary. I'll go get the much-needed sleep and you go get the information that I gave you synced.
Okay! I'm talking nonsense again. I'm going to sleep.
Nighty night.
PS please let college get burned. Or ruined.
PSS not the music building.
PSSS on second thoughts, burn that too. But not the piano. And the violin. And the flute. And the Drum. And the guitar.
PSSSS don't burn it.
September 7 | 7 a.m. | The Dior-Williams' Household
The sun is shining so bright over the far mountains that I would like to punch its face even if it burns me so I can bring out the night again to continue sleeping.
I could hear the movements in the house. Probably mom making noises just to get me and mamma out of the bed.
"I'm up!" I shout so she can hear my voice and then I hear mamma saying shouting the same a second after me. Then the noise stopped.
I KNEW SHE WAS DOING IT ON PURPOSE.
I yawned and finally sat straight. Tomorrow I would be in Lockwood College's dorm and eating crappy breakfast of the small collegian restaurant that God knows what's the food made of.
But of course, I won't say that to mom or mama. They'll just worry over nothing and send food. I love them so much and I appreciate their concern but I'm nearly twenty and it's embarrassing to pack your moms' food even after high school.
After doing the same things that I do every morning including brushing my teeth and going to the bathroom, I went downstairs.
Mama was already down there. She was setting the table while mom poured jam on the pancakes.
"Damn. I'm gonna miss this." I said with a smile and walked to give them both a hug.
They both smiled. It was rare to get affection out of me so I guess this felt a chance that they couldn't ruin.
"I'm off to college in four hours." I grinned and took a bite. "You guys are soooooo gonna miss me. The house is going to be empty. Aren't you guys sad?"
"Are you trying to make us cry?" Mama grinned back but she looked kind of sad. I suddenly felt guilty but she was going to be sad anyway. Okay, that's a poor excuse. I shouldn't have said that. This mouth is gonna get me in big trouble someday.
"You got your awful mouth from me." Mama laughed and mom agreed. It was always like this.
Mama makes mom sad and I cover her shit or I make mom sad and mama covers my shit. Not that we do it on purpose. That'll be just mean and awful.
"Will you go by yourself?" Mom asked and I shuddered at the thought of going alone.
"God, no!" I answered. "Jackie will come with me."
Here's the thing. I'm always tired. I always just fell asleep without even realizing so riding alone would not be my best choice and that's why I didn't make it.
Jackie thought I might be sick and that's why it happened but to be honest, I don't care and I don't want to talk about this with mom and mama. It will only make them worry more and I don't want to put unnecessary stress on them.
"So will we meet this famous Jackie today?" Mama smirked. "We heard quite a lot about her. You know... by you!"
"Mom!" I groaned. "Jackie is not my girlfriend. And the fact that you heard about her a lot is because she is the first person that didn't want to sleep with me. She's my best friend."
"Okay." Mom said but she still looked unsure.
Jackie is lesbian but she isn't out yet and even though I'm sure they won't tell anyone; it still isn't my place to say anything.
"Jackie will come an hour later. Please behave and don't make her embarrassed." I said but I laughed to show them that I was kidding. "But seriously, I don't have a crush on her. And she on me. You know that I am capable of being friends with someone and not jumping on them, right?"
"Yeah, sure, sweetheart." I know mama doesn't believe me. "We never told you but Lily slept around a lot. Like a lot a lot."
I gasped and looked at mom who rolled her eyes and flicked my forehead. "I just liked the variety of choices and the pleasure. You know your grandparents. As chill as ice."
"Yes, yes." Mama laughed and kissed mom's cheek. Her whole covered in tattoos arm wrapped around mom with a fond smile on her face. "Then she saw me and fell in love with me at first sight and followed me around all day and begged me to be with her."
Mama snickered and mom hit her shoulder. "Shut up!" Then she turned toward me and said, "Don't listen to her, Vik. I slept with her then she clichely fell in love and told me if I give her a month, she'll make me fall in love with her."
"I know." I snickered.
"Wait, what?" Mama narrowed her eyes. "I don't remember ever telling you."
"I read your diary." I laughed.
Mom looked at me with great amusement but mama looked like she's she is going to faint. "Don't worry. I skipped the NSFW. Even thinking about reading it, eww! Though never have I ever saw anyone who describes their sex life in their diary."
"Honey, you do it too." Mom laughed.
"I KNEW IT!" I suddenly stood up. "Oh god, tell me you didn't read chapter twenty-one of my junior year in high school when I went to Kenya's party!"
And THAT! Is the reason to why I write warnings in my diary. So at least if I fail in protecting my precious baby, then the R-rated stuff at least feel a little safe.
"No, I didn't," Mama said. Then she turned to mom and continued, "I also don't remember going through my son's diary." She was amused, I can say. But for me? Oh god! It's embarrassing if mom read all those shits I wrote.
"Viktor's life is the best drama I ever had." Mom said with a playful smile toward me. "I recall the time when Victor especially talked about this girl named Heather who showed her this posit?D"
"OKAY STOP!" By now, I could feel my whole face burning. "Seriously mom, that's why I put warnings in there in case you decide to read them. Skip those parts!"
"I'm kidding sweetheart." Mom smiled and bent over the table to ruffle my hair. "I was cleaning your room and Heather's page was open and my eyes just skimmed over it. I would never attack your personal space like this."
I thanked God in my head and smiled back at her. "I don't mind you guys reading it. There's nothing there that I don't tell you but PLEASE skip the NSFW."
They both just smiled at me. I know that they know my sex life is very active and that's okay but I like to protect myself from the mantel image that can form in their minds.
My phone rang. "It's Jackie." I looked at them with the is-it-okay-if-I-answer-it-at-the-table? and mom nodded which meant will-my-opinion-even-matter? It does but she doesn't need to know that.
"Hey, bitch! Be ready in five. My parents spared me the be-careful-talk so I'll be free sooner!" And then she hung up. I laughed then turned to my parents, "I should get ready."
September 7 | 7:35 a.m. | Jacqueline Smith's Car
After that everything was just a blur of my parents meeting Jackie and hitting it off and me realizing I didn't tell Jackie that my parents are lesbians which I don't know how that happened since we know each other for a long time and then me hugging them and telling each other ??Be safe?? and finally hitting the road with Jackie.
"I like your new car." I smirked at Jackie who looked away for a second to flash a smirk toward me and said, "I need something to attract girls with."
"Girls will be all over you," I spoke. "And that'll be because you are so fucking awesome and cool and sexy and beautiful not because you got a crappy car."
"Don't insult my newborn baby!" She glared at the road but a smile was playing on her lips. "I thought you liked her!"
"I was being polite."
"I wonder how can you get laid all the time with this attitude of yours."
"Same."
"Arguing with you is pointless."
"So, I've been told," I smirked again when Jackie shot me a glare. That's the thing about me. You can never win an argument. No one can get past my thick skin and never have I ever even felt offended by people's insults.
Though it's not the same with Jackie, of course. She's my best friend and best friends are insulting each other all the time. For that, you need to know the beautiful language of friendship:
A
Just turn the insults upside down and take them as compliments.
B
Vacuum the compliments. It can get rare between some friends. Not that they don't love you.
That's at least how Jackie and I work. And we survived years of friendship. Both near each other and long-distance. We must be doing something good or at least right!
"Put your song and sleep," Jackie said with a smile when I yawned twice. "I'll wake you when it's your turn to drive."
And I napped for half an hour with Anne Marie lulling me over and over.
September 7 | 8:45 a.m. | Jacqueline Smith's Car
"Wake up!" I heard Jackie's faint voice coming from somewhere. "Bitch I rode us to Lockwood! You were asleep the whole dame time! WAKE UP! WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAK??"
"Okay, okay, Jesus, girl! Calm your tits! I'm awake!" I groaned and Jackie pinched my arm. "JESUS! SORRY!"
I finally woke up and laughed when I saw Jackie's annoyed face. "I'm sorry." I offered sheepishly with a smile.
"You'll be the death of me." Jackie sighed. "Now come on, Vicky! We have bags to take. Dorms to fill. People to meet. And Schedules to make."
"Don't call me that!" I grumbled and she was quick to pinch me again.
September 7 | 8:47 a.m. | The College's Dorm's Yard
"I hate college," I said but laughed anyway and went to take my bags from the back of Jackie's new car. ??But I choose it every day over the high school, to be honest."
"Same," Jackie said and smiled. "Come on now. Let's see if we meet anyone that we know on our way."
"Jackie," I said and locked the car's door with her key. "Don't talk as if it's our first year. That year was awful. No one ever warns you about all the exams and pop quizzes and daily questionings plus boooooriiing lectures!"
"Don't complain," Jackie said and we finally made our way toward the dorms.
"Oh my god." Jackie suddenly stopped.
"What?" I said, panicked, for reasons that even I don't know. I guess seeing Jackie looking kind of panicked makes me panic too. It's a best friend thing, I guess.
"It's Angel!" Jackie gasped. "And his half-sister, Emma!"
"Angel?" I asked and tried to remember where does this name fit in the conversations that we had before and I can't remember a thing. Then my eyes catch his eyes as he gets closer and I remember.
"OH, ANGEL!" I suddenly said and he was close to us so he gave me a questioning look. Oh god, I should cover my shit. So, I suddenly walked toward him and said, "Hi Angel. Long time no see! You didn't even change over the year. Maybe a little bit tanned though. Sexy!" I smirked. Hoping that'll cover my shit and guess what? IT DID. But I didn't lie though. He looked sexy indeed.
Angel looked a little shocked that I recognized?Dor perhaps remembered?Dhim. And Emma looked highly offended that I called her half-brother instead of her. Let her be.
"Viktor." He said with a shy smile. "Hi."
He looked down at me but I didn't mind it. I'm used to it since most of the guys around here are taller than me. Not that I'm short though. I'm five eight and the last time I checked; it was the average height.
I could feel Jackie smirking behind me. And I could feel Emma glaring beside me but I just wanted to cover my mess. Or so I thought. I remember how much I enjoyed his company, unlike others that I slept with.
"Maybe company me to the boys' dorm?" I offered him a devilish smile.
Emma wanted to say something. Her mouth opened but for the first time in my life, I saw Angel interrupt someone. Maybe he changed more than I could've realized.
"It'll be my pleasure." He smirk-smiled.
I'm doomed. And I love it.
