Twenty one hours. I usually spent twenty one hours on the internet for almost everyday. After a heartbreak, scrolling and watching almost every videos over this wide flashy screen of my desktop, aside from crying is the only sane thing I ever did since last month.
I barely took a shower. On count of four weeks, maybe I had thrice. Nobody cared now if how do I look nor what outfit would I pull to compliment the day. Wearing a black loose shirt and a white undergarment are my new bestfriend now.
I reached for the bag of chips and grabbed a handful and smashed it on my mouth, munching it loudly on purpose to accommodate my empty looking room. I grabbed another after another. Yes, this the life of a twenty year old girl struggling to bloom as a young adult again after failing both in love and friendship.
I sighed when I realized that the scene was so sad so I got up from my yellow swivel chair and put the stereo on its maximum volume.
A Paramore song immediately banged on the top of my ears.
I should be over all the butterflies
but I'm into you, I'm into you ..
Fuck! Why of all songs? I got annoyed when I remember that damn guy and that filthy-snakey bestfriend of mine.
'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all
Yeah after all this time
I'm still into you
I turned off the radio again and weakly settled myself back to my chair. It's already one month but the pain and rage are still here, drowning and knocking out the breath of me, making me feel stupid. Seriously, when will these all end?
The drama was interrupted when a notification from Facebook flashed on the side of my monitor. I clicked it out of curiousness and moments after, the photo of a couple looking sweet together displayed in front of me.
My nostrils flared up when I recognized their faces. How can they look so good and act happy without even feeling guilty about what they did to me? This god-damned guy and bitch really deserve each other. Until now, I can't even barely utter their names nor imagined myself having being associated with these kind of people once.
No matter how hard I hold back. I found myself crying again. Fuck it! I told myself that I'm not gonna waste any single tear for this guy but ... damn.
I was already wailing like a child when I exited the tab of Facebook and entered another website of my social media account.
I am dead sure that that girl is flexing her boyfriend on Instagram again; my ex-boyfriend whom she stole on a one night stand.
Am I alone or all girls are actually stalking their ex-boyfriend's present girlfriend? I know it would hurt me like hell but i have no idea why I am visiting Patricia's Instagram account.
In one click away, her most recent post greeted me. And just like that, I cried again.
Damn it, why is this bitch looks so gorgeous on this maroon two piece suit? She was sizzling hot with a body to die for and her breast were shouting huge under that thin silk which makes me cry even more.
Wil adored women like this and seeing him beside her didn't surprised me anymore. He looked so happy having Patricia inside his verile arms where I used to lay and snuggled.
They're in Amanpulo. Our dream vacation. He said he would rather die than visiting the place without me but Wil managed to get his two feet on that island's powdery sand and guess what? He's alive! What a liar and I was too stupid to believe that.
I cried a little harder and louder. How can he do this to me? Wil was my first love and I almost did my every firsts with him. I gave him the love I thought he deserved but he still ended up cheating on me.
Tell me! Who's in his right mind to easily move on from this?
Bearing so much sorrow, I shutted down the tab of Instagram and found myself reading random break-up tweets again. This was my form of cooling down after a serious breakdown.
I wiped my wet face and finally calmed down. Good thing, Patricia doesn't have a Twitter account so it won't come into her awareness that I'm already cursing her with every nasty word I knew.
After tweeting out my rage, I spent my time reading tweets again. I thought everything on this blue feed were still the usual rants of people but when I saw a random tweet of a profile i didn't even followed, that's how i finally found a way to move on.
I wickedly smile. This will definitely changed my whole damned life. My eyes wander at the screen again to read the purest and most innocent tweet of a stranger saying,
Do you wanna go on a road trip with me?
