Beyond The Power

　　Everyone and anyone ask me alot of questions throughout my life. I never gave the direct answer its not that I didnt want to its because every time I did they never ask the right question but my school did. After so many years why do I wanna go back. Why should they let me try it all over again. Well the old me would say they shouldnt! I know not the correct answer to be saying. But like I said ask the right question? The old me is correct if I still was an unstable, always felt alone, hard headed, depress lonely boy back there is no way he would make it. But I am writing this because I am an honest man now who has Goals to achieve an to achieve excellent like illinois college once put in my head an for me to be able to sign my Phi Alpha book. My road started at Ic in 2010 I was so lost in the mind that I had no idea what I was walking in too. Yes I knew what u wanted but u was fighting for a life I knew I was destine for vs a life I was running away from but some how always pull me in. Not because I was a bad person but because it was the one place that stable me my whole entire life. The place where my dreams an abulities became bigger than my one self. But it was always the place where I be facing my own doom. It was my mother distruction I wanted to make it my success. But I had know home training no stability I was lost in a world full on green tress beautiful facility an not a soul i fit in with. A boy with a mind set of changing the world an never even being reconiz. But where I from we are all shining stars an i was just a scared little boy searching for the supporting cast to tell me to go be all I can. I only had a woman my mother discover me as a child. When she died I never face her grieve not once truly how somone should. But through out my years I lashed out showing my pain. I was trying to leave. I needed things in my life that I needed to over come beyond one person mind. I was paining beyond anything ir anyone should but I suffer from depression. Because my whole life I felt neglected. So I seek attention to be the best in all the wrong ways hoping someone would see even if this is who I am now this is not ever what I should become. But like I said in the beginning it was at one point in my time the most stable fun times of my life. So it would be the opposite with me than my mother who I am a spitting image of just like my dad too. Its weird. I come from the ghetto I have no shame I only knew toughness I didnt always go to a ghetto school which in a your language urban area. But I always felt alone. Schools even tho they gave me praise alot I felt like the person that matter to me the mkst was never there. So I would hide who I am. Why because I didnt know what else to do. It is what I saw her do my whole child hood. Even though it was my mist fun kid times it was my most traffic events as well. When she got sent to God to Join my father. I became my own parent with no idea how to parent at all. Yes I stayed with alot of people through out my high school career that it only taught me to hide even more. Run away from this lifr its too hard. We cant do it the right way. But my brain was blessed to keep fighting off demons that I face all the way up till now this very moment. I was my own enemy I lust for the life of an easier way quicker an I acknowledge that I did conquer it took but lost it all over an ovet an ovet again that even I grow tired so you should let me back in because now I am a man who is not alone at all. I am a man with a million dollar maybe a billion mindset with the right help to reprogram my brain the correct way to continue to achieve excellent the right way always think postive never stop the fight for change. So finishing somethibg was my only achievement mindset I have never quiting an even though that is what it seem like I never quit. Not ever I put alot of things on hold because my 5 p's was prior planning prevent piss pore performance. I didnt plan for college I walk in a cock but scared little boy who felt like his way will get him any where he want. Know one could tell me nothing and I do mean that. I lost alot of people but when I gain my brother he taught me the true meaning of family at least the word concept in my eyes. He brought 3 little small ones to a different world an I ran back to the ghetto but one day I called him an he did something that I never had know ever do for me. He rescue from my self. Some where down the line we both was lost in how I am suppkse to be raise but wasnt his fault his was stepping up like a big brother should do. Me I was already hard headed then but I listen went it meant the most because for some reason I knew his guidence would get me there because I look up to him. The only man that I could best but will bow down to every time cuz he is my father. He taught me why every man should have stability an be a great dad to the kids even if they not yours. I took that with me in my quest for stability. An now I say I found it. But before I father a Child I will achieve my goals an be a Great man for myself and my Family. They all are counting on me. An really thats all I ever wanted to feel in my life because it's not nothing in that school that I can't learn an if I apply just half my brain still do very well in. And now this is my time to achieve all Goals of finishing and chasing the American dream for all americans but for all humans to believe like I niw believe we all can change with a little support we all can be united even if we are different. I am very different I have turn enemies into friends an strangers into family. But now its time I change myself into all I can be excellent Closes to Perfect as you can get an Now I conquer my own demons and nit scared know more to shine as bright as I can an let nothing stand in my way. So you decision is only one choice to make Grant me the chance to prove why I am a man to stand by his word more than anyone ever saw. A man who believe who admit he gave up before. A man who never been a failure in nothing he choose to do. A man who has the support of his cities to go be great now. But also a man who humbly ask tou please because I mived so much in my life that I am not changing schools because I ran as a boy I come back as a Man standing my grown owning every mistake I made and still found away to 360 his life right back to his starting point at illinoise college.