I was standing on the Westminster Bridge and I was about to jump. I wanted to, because my social life is over.
Okay, maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but I felt that way.
I couldn't believe I did that. I'm dumber than a box of rocks. But even rocks know to stay quiet, so I couldn't even compare myself to those.
"Paris, get down from the bridge," My friend, Shanae, instructed in a bored tone. She knew I was just bluffing but I couldn't bring myself to even face her.
"No, I'm going to jump. You can go, you don't have to witness this" I dramatically screamed for no apparent reason.
I heard a light chuckle from her, but I made no move to face her.
"Get down mate. You didn't embarrass yourself that much" she tried to sound convincing, but the only thing that could convince was someone who wasn't there.
I made a fool of myself. I know it, she knows it. Hell, even the moon knows it.
And all because I just had to fall for my best friend.
Three hours earlier...
"Hey can you pick me up please? I need a ride" I asked Colton on the phone as I tried to get my dress up.
I couldn't seem to reach the stupid zipper no matter what angle I set my hands, and if my hair wasn't this short, I would've left the zipper half—way done. Unfortunately for me, my brown hair fell to my shoulders since I cut it last week, so unless I wanted the whole school to see my back, I had to get it up somehow.
"What happened to your car? " He groaned, making me chuckle a little.
"My stupid sister took it. Now will you pick me up or do I have to find a new best friend? "
I smirked in victory when I didn't hear him reply, since I knew that was all I had to say. Deep down we both knew I couldn't replace him, but he wouldn't push it.
"Fine. I'll be there by six" He huffed. "Be ready! "
"Brilliant"
I quickly threw the phone on the bed and attempted to reach the zipper again. Curse my inability to be flexible.
Just when I needed them the most, my mum and dad were gone again. Even my annoying kid sister was out adventuring, so I had no help.
Finally giving up on the zipper, I decided to curl my hair and add a little makeup to enhance my features. I wasn't normally a girl to dress up, but when I had to, I knew how to pull a few strings.
This school dance was just what I needed and I had a plan about how perfect my night would be. I've decided to tell Colton about how I really feel, and I wanted to look my best doing so.
We've been best friends for almost five years, and I didn't regret one second of it. It wasn't too long ago since I discovered my feelings, but I've never thought about making them known until now.
Why wait right? I'm not getting any younger.
Worst case scenario that he doesn't feel the same, I know we can bounce right back without being awkward. But I just really hoped he would.
If we try to be together and it doesn't work out, I know that we still have to be friends. I can't lose him. All I know is that I love him. I love him as an individual, as a friend and something a little more intimate.
I smiled in delight once I finished everything, and though my dress was only half way up, I still felt beautiful.
It hugged my body wonderfully, and the royal blue colour really brought out my blue eyes. I slipped my feet into my silver stilettos and grabbed my matching purse just as I heard a honk outside.
I popped a mint in my mouth and grabbed my house keys before heading downstairs. After ensuring that everything was closed, I headed outside to meet my mate.
He was leaning on his car in his black tuxedo and white dress shirt. He looked so incredibly handsome with his dark hair neatly combed and his beautiful gray eyes shining so bright.
He always went all out, even for these little dances. Just another reason for me to love him
"Help" I whimpered as soon as I was in hearing range from him. He cocked a questioning eyebrow at me and I quickly turned around to show him my bare back.
For a while I didn't feel or hear anything, so I peeped over my shoulder, only to see him staring at my back with a blank expression on his face.
Except, I knew he wasn't staring at my back. He was staring at my scar. It wasn't with disgust or pity, I just knew that the memories became alive in his mind again.
Slowly, he latched his finger on the zipper and pulled it up in an almost teasing manner. The tip of his finger brushed my bare skin, causing me to shiver in delight.
Finally he finished, and he placed a kiss on my cheek before bringing his lips to my ear.
"You look beautiful, Paris," he whispered, causing my heart to do a backflip.
"You don't look too bad yourself handsome" I replied, slightly shy.
"Ready? " he asked as he pulled away.
I quickly dismissed the disappointment that I felt as I turned around to occupy my shotgun spot, but I stopped dead in my tracks when an unfamiliar face met my eyes. Unfamiliar female face, I might add.
Well surprise.
"Uh hi" I awkwardly waved at the girl who was beaming at me.
"Hi, I'm Asia" She greeted, pushing her hand out the window.
I weirdly eyed Colton who was standing beside me. "Asia huh?" I asked him in particular.
Does he have a thing for girls with names of places or?
"My name is not actually Asia, it's Anastasia. I gave myself that nickname when Colton told me about you. And since it's basically a part of the name, why not right? "She explained with a laugh as if that wasn't weird at all.
"Well nice to meet you Anastasia. I guess I'll just.. " I trailed off as I awkwardly sat in the backseat of Colton's jeep.
It felt so weird and awkward.
Was she his girlfriend? Of course not right? I would've been the first to know. He didn't even mention her to me once and that worried me in more ways than one. Either he's not telling me everything again, or he was aware of my feelings and didn't want to hurt me.
She didn't go to our school, that was for sure. But I had no idea where to start steadying my thoughts.
"So Col, you didn't tell me you had a date" I said softly, trying hard not to sound edgy.
"Oh he hasn't told you yet? We've been dating for a while now" Anastasia beamed.
I noticed she had an American accent, so that explained why I hadn't seen her before.
"No actually, this is my first time knowing about you " I replied, and if I wasn't looking, I would've missed the flash of hurt that ran through her eyes.
"I wanted to introduce you in person " He clarified, looking tense.
"You told me about her though" She sang, attempting to sound chill.
We all fell into awkward silence from then. But all I could think about was the fact that my best friend was dating someone. And he kept it from me.
I didn't know what hurt worse, the fact that I didn't know, or the fact that I wish I hadn't known. So much for a perfect night.
I got out as soon as we pulled into the school parking lot. I had no intention of being around them tonight. I wasn't being bitter, but a bomb like that needed processing time. A lot of processing time.
I quickly made my way inside in hopes to find Shanae. She knew about my crush, so I had hoped she would've said something to make me feel better.
"Well that sucks " She mumbled after I told her everything.
I hung my mouth wide open as I ogled her in disbelief. "That's all you have to say to me? You're no help " I huffed in annoyance as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"The truth hurts love. Live with it"
"Sometimes I wished you were more of a sappy type of girl" I mumbled with an eye roll.
She simply laughed and followed me to the table filled with food. I grabbed a cup and proceeded to pour myself some punch, but Shanae grabbed the cup from me.
"That's spiked. Don't drink it" She warned, but I was too stupid to listen.
"I'm thirsty " I whined before letting the liquid glide down my throat.
Indeed, I could taste the alcohol, but I didn't care. Where did 17 year olds get alcohol anyways?
"You know that's spiked right? " A very familiar voice said behind me. I guarded my features before facing him.
"Yes I am aware" I replied in a calm tone. Anastasia was glued to his side, but I tried not to focus on her.
I knew that if eventually things got serious between them then we would have to become somewhat friends, and I really wasn't such a bitch on a normal day. But who can blame me for being a little difficult?
"Can we talk? " He asked after sighing, and I simply eyed the doll stuck to him. "Alone " he added, and she eventually let go.
I followed him into the halls, and I noticed that he had a guilty look on his face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you " he started, though I knew that was exactly what he would've said.
Instead of saying what I knew he hoped I would say, I said the opposite. "Yes you should've"
"I didn't want you to be upset"
"Why would I be upset? " I asked with an eyebrow raised.
He looked as if he didn't know the answer himself, so I just brushed it off.
"Look, it's okay. You wanted to introduce us in person. I get it. Let's just get back okay? "
"Wait, I need to know if you'll be okay with us being, you know.. " He trailed off, looking shy.
That's when I realized that Asia might just be permanent. At least for a while. It would no longer be just Colton and Paris. It would be Colton, Paris and her.
"As long as you're happy" I said truthfully. As much as I loved him, all I want is for him to be happy.
Besides, how long will Anastasia even last? Nobody's that perfect.
Let's not be negative now Paris.
"Thanks Paris" He pulled me to his chest and gently kissed my head. "I need you to know that this won't change a thing between us okay? "
Instead of answering, I simply nodded since I knew damn well that this would change everything. But what can I do right?
We returned to the dance and parted ways. I found Shanae and her boyfriend, Nick, and Colton found his apparently new girlfriend. Well they weren't a 'thing' yet, and I had an instinctive urge to claim him as mine before it should happen, but I knew he'd just think I'm crazy.
I felt like a third wheel in both cases, so I spent most of my time drinking spiked punch. I watched as he laughed and danced with her, and even though I wouldn't admit it out loud, they looked good together.
Before I knew it, my head was spinning and I was dancing with anyone in sight. I was never good with alcohol, but this was a different level.
My eyes found him again, but this time he and Anastasia were heading for the exit. I ran after him, catching him just in time for him to stop.
"Hey where are you going? You took me here reme—remember? " I slurred as I blinked rapidly to focus my vision.
"Gosh Paris you're drunk. " He muttered in concern as one hand was immediately wrapped around my waist. "I've got to take you home now. Sit here okay? I'm going to pull the car up"
He placed me on a chair at the door as Anastasia's eyes darted between the two of us.
"But what about showing me the fountain? " She asked as she followed behind him.
I paid no attention to what happened, since the lights immediately went dim and a slow song started. For some reason I got excited and disobeyed Colton's rules by getting up.
My feet took me to the stage area, and I had no idea how nobody saw me. I stood in the centre of the stage behind a mic, and that's when heads started to turn.
"Awe you all love so lovely together" I cooed as they watched me in confusion. I noticed Shanae's eyes going wide as she tried to make her way through the crowd.
"So in love and cute" I continued with a giggle. "We all deserve love but not me apparently. The one I love doesn't love me, and the person he loves is prettier than me soooooo"
"Paris, get down from there! " Shanae whisper shouted from the side of the stage, but I paid her no mind.
Just then, the door opened and Colton and his date re—entered. My stupid mouth did just the same as the door.
"There he is right now! " I pointed at the door, and all heads turned to face him.
"I love you Colton! Love me too! "
My eyes drooped as I felt my body being pulled from the stage and through the back door. A splash of water to my face snapped me right out of my daze, and I was face to face with Shanae and a whole lot of realization.
I just told Colton that I loved him. I just told the whole school! Gosh I'm such a freak.
I was embarrassed, hurt and felt stupid. So I did the only thing that seemed logical.
I ran.
I ran as fast as I could in no specific direction, with a shouting Shanae behind me. I didn't stop until I was a few meters from the famous bridge.
And so, here I was.
"Are you done yet? " Shanae asked, and I finally jumped from the bridge onto the ground.
I sighed deeply and slid down to sit with my back against the bridge and my head in my hands. I felt as if a presence sat beside me, and I waited for her to say something encouraging, or something to make me feel better. But instead, she just had to be herself.
"I told you not to drink that punch" She whispered, as if that helped. I threw her a look which only made her laugh.
"You're not a good friend " I complained as I hit her shoulder.
"Hey I just ran five miles behind you and I'm not a good friend? "
"Okay maybe you're a decent friend " I chuckled and she did too.
Just then, bright headlights stopped in front of us, and I saw that it was a very familiar jeep. My heart raced as he jumped from it and rushed to my side.
"Thank God you're okay" Was the first thing he said before he wrapped me in a hug. I was utterly confused.
"Aren't you mad? " I asked gently, though I was relieved to know that he wasn't.
"Why would I be mad? Worried I was, but I'm not mad"
"I just thought that... " I paused, not wanting to embarrass myself anymore.
"Thought what? " he probed and I knew he would've.
"I caused all that attention on you back there... with my declaration " I mumbled the last part in hopes that he wouldn't hear, but of course he did.
He didn't say anything right away, which slightly unnerved me. He sat beside me in the spot where Shanae previously sat and rested my head on his shoulder.
"It's okay Paris, I love you too. I would've been mad if you said you didn't " He said, shocking me out of my skin.
My heart leaped in hope as I looked up to meet his eyes. I knew his 'date' was in the car so this was slightly immoral, but the alcohol in me was preventing me from caring.
"Really? You love me too?" I asked in anticipation, but he only chuckled softly at me.
"You really are drunk aren't you? Of course I do Paris. Whether you're drunk or not you should know that"
A wave of disappointment quickly flooded me when I noticed that we were both referring to two different types of love, so I just nodded in response.
"Besides, it doesn't matter if everyone else thought you meant it in a different way. We both know what you meant and that's all that matters. You're my best friend and I'll love you forever,” he added.
Right. Just best friends.
