Ciara's POV
"Unsaid words are the ones that break me,
The words I never said because of closure that was never brought
Shaking my leg anxiously due to those unsaid words
You broke me
Everything you do, you have broken me."
Shan delivers a reading of my poem assignment for the Arts Appreciation Class.
We are both in our first year of college and went to Father Saturnino Urios University.
"I hope I've handled everything. You are fortunate, and you have made a poem. Can you make me one?" he asked, "I'm not prepared yet! Please, for the sake of me."
"You're not doing your assignments anymore, Shan," I said, rolling my eyes.
"These past few days have simply been too hectic for me. We practiced basketball, and I always offered Julie a ride home," He had a lot on his schedule.
"That's something you can do on your own."
"You can be so cruel at times! Anyway, your poem appears to be quite meaningful yet you seem heartbroken. What is the name of this guy?"
"That's none of your business," I responded, faking a giggle. "I heard you're courting Julie?" I asked.
He's nodding his head, which I notice, "Yes, indeed! Hey, if she says yes, that's great. So, to avoid being broken, you must also tell the man you love how you feel."
It's hilarious to consider that the man he's referring to is himself. "Right. Anyway, I'm going to use the restroom."
I dash to the restroom, and thankfully there is no one there. I wipe a tear from my eyes as I gaze in the mirror.
"Shan, you won't be able to see me. Julie is fortunate in that you notice her. I've known you since we were kids, yet you've never seen me."
I wipe the tears from my eyes again and realize something, "You see me, Shan. You see me as a best friend."
I'm just your best friend.
Never seen before, never felt.
I was the one who loved you first, yet you seem to love her more than me.
You broke me.
THE DAY AFTER.
It's nearly nine o'clock in the morning, and Shan is nowhere to be found in the classroom. I rolled my eyes, thinking he is having a wonderful time with the girl he is courting.
Shan likes a girl named Julianna Garcia, who goes by the nickname Julie
short for Julianna
. If I remember correctly, she's a transfer student in 11th grade.
I went outside and down to the gate to cross over to the Campus's Main Building. When I entered the building, I ran across Patricia, my girl's closest friend.
"Patty! Pat!" I called, and she recognized me right away, so she came.
"Ciar, it's you. What's the matter? Is Sir Justine already in the room? Isn't he the next instructor?" she asked as soon as she spotted me.
I smiled and replied, "It's only that I can't see Shan right now. He'd have gone to the other building."
Our school buildings are so huge that if you don't know where to find them, you'll get lost. As I previously stated, I am in the Main Building, but I must still cross the Main Highway to reach the Senior High Building, which also contains the PE Hall and Gymnasium. There is a shortcut someplace in the Main Building where I can travel through the school overpass and avoid having to cross the highway and a busy road.
Shan must be there hanging out with Julie again, I reasoned. I'm not sure why, but I'm jealous. Aside from he is my best friend, whom I love, the world appears to be incredibly unfair. I've known him for a long time, although he met Julie for a short time.
"Let it go, please. Don't be jealous. I'm confident that your loverboy will notice you fairly soon," she remarked sarcastically, and she made me laugh and when suddenly, groups of cheerleaders and some jocks were hanging out in the waiting shed, and I could just hear them talking.
"Did you see the latest cheerleading practice video?"
"Yeah! Julie, our Head Cheerleader, nailed it with the pyramid!"
"Come to think of it, she's only sixteen, I think."
"As a result, our dearest Shan fell head over heels in love with her."
"By the way, where is he? I haven't seen him, and Julie too."
"I guess Julie and he went on a date, but I'm not sure where. Perhaps they're dating in some sense."
He's only hanging out with Julie now? That's fine; I'm not bitter, but I'm used to him calling and informing me of his whereabouts.
Okay, then I turned to Patricia and motioned for us to leave, "Pat, let's go. Shan somehow doesn't seem to be around at this time."
She said as we were walking to our building, "Don't worry. Shan loves you, as I predicted."
I let out a groan, "But, Pat, I'm not in the mood to wait. He'll never be able to see me."
"Don't be pessimistic. Shan loves you. You know, he's just caught up with her because of their fame."
We arrived in the room as well, but our Conceptual Framework instructor, Sir Justine, has not yet arrived. We sat down right away and continued our conversation.
"That's it; they're well-liked. I mean, who am I? I'm just an ordinary student here," I admitted with a sigh, "but I still love my best friend."
"Trust me, he loves you too."
"Hey, what are you up to over there?" As I realized it was Shan, I turned away. "Are you talking about the guy who you were referring to in your poem the other day?"
I rolled my eyes because I had only recently realized Shan was numb, but I still managed to grin at him, "Why?"
"No matter what happens, I'll always be by your side," he said while patting my shoulders with his palms. I'm not sure what it was, but his touch made me feel something. I'm electrified in a way that I can't explain.
However, I was dissatisfied. Why can't he sense that he's the man I want and the one I genuinely love? He has been my ultimate crush from elementary school through high school.
Who wouldn't want to love Shan Ralph Anderson? Take a look at him: he's famous, hot, and gentlemanly. He treated me like a princess, which was one of the things I admired about him. He's always there for me when I'm in trouble.
We've become inseparable, and because we're neighbors, we see each other frequently, especially when we're with his wonderful aunt, Faith. Faith is his father's only sibling, and with her wise remarks, she's like an angel in disguise for me.
"Best," he said, and I turned to face him, surprised to see that his face was an inch away from mine as if we were about to kiss in our position until Sir Justine entered the room.
"Students, good morning! Sorry for being late, and please don't think we're staying at the motel, Ms. Jones and Mr. Anderson. As can be seen, this is a school, a place for learning."
"Sorry, sir," I said sheepishly to our instructor.
"Please take a seat, Shan," the teacher said something, and Shan sat down next to me, and Sir Justine began talking about something else.
I looked at my watch as the lesson ended, and it was already past noon, and we hadn't eaten lunch yet, "Pat, let's go grab lunch. Shan, how about you? Will you come to lunch with us?" I asked him.
He said with a nod, "Yes, but do you mind if we pass by Julie's? I think she will eat at the cafeteria as well. I'll just check on her."
"Sure, no problem," I say like if I had a choice. We exited the room after I gathered my stuff.
We returned to the Main Building heading to the Cafeteria and I noted that a large number of people had already gathered, at least it was past noon, and everyone was already eating their lunch.
We walked into the air-conditioned café and Shan and I just followed the famous students to a large table where they were all seated. "Shan!" I saw Julie wave at him.
"Hey, fellas!" They greeted Shan, while I stood in the back and went unseen. Who am I, after all, for them to recognize? I'm just his best friend.
"What's the matter with you now that you're alone?" she said as she saw me behind, "Oh, you have someone with you."
Finally, I rolled my eyes, and you noticed me as well.
"This is Ciara, my best friend ever," Shan said as he wrapped his arm around me and lovingly stroked my hair.
"I had no idea you had a best friend," a senior high cheerleader said.
"I thought you were aware of that one. Since we were kids, she's been my best friend," Shan responded, and I couldn't help but give them a big smile. "Anyway, I'm just checking in on you guys."
"You mean, Julie is the one you checked here," the others taunted.
"Yes, boss. We all know you don't give a damn about us," One of our Senior basketball players expressed his thoughts.
They continued to converse, so I turned to Shan and said, "I'm going to order food," and he turned around.
"I'll go with you." He bid goodbye to his men. We formed a line at a stand in the café where my favorite dish, sisig, is served.
"Aren't you fed up with sisig? You might gain weight and become chubby," I slapped him in the shoulder after he laughed playfully.
"You're a complete jerk! I'll tell your mother about this," I added with a giggle.
"You're so weak, and you're going to report me," he laughed, "and if you do it, I'll report about your crush to your mother."
I came to a halt there, but I was still able to speak, "Why? Do you have any idea who my crush is?"
"No, that's why I want to know and figure out who he is," he said.
I pressed my fingers to his cheeks, "That is a secret. I'm not going to tell you who he is."
"As for your kindness, I'll still know him, but for the time being, I'm not going to put any pressure on you."
I smirked, "It's for you to find out."
We proceeded to our normal area near the garden as soon as we got our food. Even though I like the air-conditioned room, there are no vacancies due to a large number of famous students and senior high school students, as well as the cheerleaders.
We couldn't stop talking three as we ate, "Shan, where's Faith?"
"It seems they're in the laboratory right now," he remarked as he chewed his lunch. "You know, our nurse is busy."
Faith and I attend the same school and occasionally meet, but now that she is in her second year, they are quite busy.
"Of course," I replied when I realized what had happened. "Where were you earlier? I was expecting you wouldn't show up Sir Justine's class."
"Didn't I tell you?" I shook my head and he looked at his phone, "Ah, I didn't press send."
"What should you say?"
"I would say that I was with Julie at their house," just as I thought and he continued, "She took something there and I went with her. I didn't see her mommy, but
I just learned that she was also a cheerleader at Agusan High where Mom and Dad used to study. Not just a cheerleader but a head cheerleader. "
"Didn't your mom was also a cheerleader back then?"
"Yes, that's what she said but she only said that she cheered in Davao. It looks like she was just a substitute cheerleader at Agusan High when she moved here to Butuan."
I nodded, "That's right. All right, hurry up and eat there and we'll still have class. After three PM, do you have some plans?"
He nodded, "Yes, I'll be with Julie that time."
I didn't answer and I just finished what I ate and put away the things afterward.
