JAN'S POV
Five months after class started. As I had always been accustomed to, I was once again left alone in the classroom. Not because I want to be alone, but because I want to always be late coming home. I don't have anyone else with me so no one will be waiting for me.
After arranging the stuff inside the bag I stood up. I looked out the window again. Strong winds. The birds are screaming. And the orange and black were mixing in the sky, a sign that it was time to stay home.
I walked out of school. I only reached a few people. More often than not, I have reached out to teachers and faculty staff.
As soon as I got home, I immediately took care of the clutter in my room. I left the scattered papers because of the review. The exam is coming up so I need to improve, otherwise my grade will drop. I never expected my grades to go up. It was enough for me that I learned something even if I got the right mark. I am also my own competitor, no one else.
When the cleaning was over, I decided to cook dinner. As usual, I was the only one at home. My mom often sleeps in our bakery. There is a room there so that when she is tired she can rest. My dad, on the other hand, works far away. I can't even remember when we last met, as long as it's been a long time. I have nothing to look forward to. I never expected the three of us to be together again in front of the dinner table. I'm used to it .. I'm used to being alone.
The next day, I got ready early. Even though I don't get along with others, I don't want to get late. And even though I'm late, they'll just laugh at me. There is also no difference. So and so still, like the beginning…
"Isn't she the one that always scolds in Class-D?"
"Yes,"
"It's in the last section that I don't know how to get along yet."
"A lot of people are annoyed with her in their section. They say she's so gloomy and boring."
"What a pity."
"She deserves it, though."
I .. I've always been like a statue to them. They see me as a boring person. And I never denied it. I am quiet, always in the corner, rarely noticed by people, and most of all .. I have no friends or acquaintances.
Sometimes I wonder what I did? Why are they telling me that? What did I do to them?
It's as if they saw me as a monster that doesn't belong to this world. I know, I was born not to approach others. I am shy and have a lot of insecurities. They don't know that so maybe it's just like that if they insult me face to face, as if I can't feel what else they say. That's why I choose to ignore them. It is just a word. Words can't hurt me, their stares can…
I sat quietly near the window. I just looked outside rather than listening to what my classmates were talking about. But I also couldn’t help but be heard. Just about what they are talking about I can say I am nothing compared to them. They are very updated on everything. I have a cellphone but I feel like I'm also being talked about there. So I just use that when I call mama and papa.
"Uh .. Hi .." A woman approached me. "You like?" I looked up at her after closing my eyes on the cookies she was holding.
I stared at her for a moment. She was smiling, her smile was beautiful. She was blindfolded and the dimple appeared on her right cheek. My eye landed on her black hair mixed with blonde, it was long, uneven but beautifully designed.
"Uhm.. W-What.. I did that. I just wanted to give you a taste. I always notice you alone, Jan," she said after noticing that I had no intention of speaking. I was slightly stunned after my brain processed what she said. Jan.. That's my surname. Does she know me?
It was too late when I noticed my hand move and took what she gave me. "T-Thank you ..." I said softly.
"You're welcome." I thought she was leaving but I was surprised when she pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me. "You know, sometimes I hear those students in Class-B talking about you. Do you know any of them?"
Not only her question, but also the tone of her speech made me cringe and embarrassed. Her tone is weird, it's like she always wants to talk to others. Her tone is very friendly. I did not find any insults or sarcasm there. It's as if she's still annoyed with something, or maybe it's just my imagination.
I averted my eyes. "I don't know. I don't know them. I don't know anyone…" I said then looked out the window again. I have no idea why they are talking about me. And what the heck is supposed to talk about me. Am I not an ordinary person? I'm not famous for them to talk about.
She sighed. "Don't you have any friends? I mean, I thought you were friends with them and then they back stabbed you that's why they're talking about you behind your back,"
"There is."
"Really? Who?!"
I turned to her. "I am." I ignored her reaction.
She was stunned. "Eh? M-Me? You? Yourself? Huh?!" She said, not knowing what to say first. Even wondering I could see in her eyes the wonder that I didn’t know where it was coming from.
"OLIVIA! SOMEONE IS LOOKING FOR YOU!"
"Shut up!" the woman in front of me shouted. "Don't mind them. Let's continue."
"Eh?" I can't understand myself. There’s the part of me that gets excited about her talking. I'm glad she's naughty. Gradually I came to know what he wanted to talk to me about.
"Hehehe. So your best friend is yourself? That's cool, huh. I mean, everyone treats themselves their best buddy if they are alone, right? And you're alone?"
I nodded.
I was surprised when she laughed out loud. She grabbed the attention of others. "Dude, we can be friends," she said, smiling. "If you want." She held out her hand.
I swallowed and stared at her palm. This is not the first time someone has offered to make friends with me. But that only comes when given the chance. Once in a blue moon, though. So I don't know what to answer every time someone offers me. Sometimes even when I want to, I choose to refuse.
I was about to reach for her hand when another hand landed on me. Olivia and I were both surprised. We both looked up at who had emerged.
"Yeah, we're friends. Of course, we could be friends," the size of his smile as he shook my hand. He was still moving it and seemed to be happy with something.
"Vinn! What the hell! Get out of here!" Olivia slapped the man's hand hard, causing him to let go of my hand.
The man grinned. "Aish! What's with some interaction, ladies? Olive, I'm here because Miss Demi is calling you. You said shut up earlier so I went to see you."
"WHAT?! When did I say that? Did I?" Olivia asked me, her eyes as if hoping she hadn't said that.
I nodded.
"See? Don't worry. I preceded them. I'm the one who reported you," the man said teasingly.
"Shut up! Dummy Vinn!"
"You should go. I don't care what you say. You made Miss Demi mad," the man laughed out loud as he pushed Olivia out of the classroom.
Once at the door, Olivia was forced to stop. It waved at me. "Wait for me later, huh! Let's have lunch together— Aww! Stupid Vinn!" it growled after pinching a finger on the door that Vinn suddenly closed.
The man just laughed. "Get out, stupid Olive."
"Just wait and I'll get my revenge later!" annoyed Olivia turned to Vinn, then smiled at me. "Let's have lunch together later. Bye-bye!" She waved before finally leaving.
I sigh. I sat down at the table, silently watching the whole class. They all have their own world. They talk about something interesting for them. There has always been good talk.
Maybe they were enjoying being in high school. This year is our last year in high school. We're graduating. But even then it seemed like less than a year of my going to high school was fun. I haven’t enjoyed the past few years. I didn’t enjoy anything. I really feel like I just went to high school yesterday.
"Should we go to the bookstore?"
"Well, yeah, now is the release of the book that I've been waiting for."
"Maybe just after class."
"Wanna join, Vinn?"
"I don't want to. I have a lot to do. Enjoy yourselves."
"Huh? You're always rushing, dude. Why's that?"
I stood up when the bell rang, a sign that it was lunch time. I walked towards the classroom door. Even before I could step out, someone blocked my path with a hand.
"Stop. Wait for me. I'll just take my bag," she said as she pushed me inside. She just adjusted her bag. I could do nothing but wait for her.
"Olive?"
"Hmm?"
"Wanna go with us?"
"Where? But, I have something to do later. Maybe next time. Vinn?"
"He doesn't want to."
"I'll pass. Maybe next time," she said to her friends, before pulling me out. "Come on. We might lose our seats."
"Uh.." I just drifted away as she pulled away not knowing what to say.
She was the only one I turned my attention to as we walked. She speaks but I don’t understand it, or I just don’t listen to her. Honestly, this isn’t the first time someone has come with me to go to the canteen. But the last thing I remember was when I was still in middle school. And that was a very long time ago. So maybe I’m innovating. I didn’t know what to do, what to say, and how to act in front of her. She personally told me that she wanted to be friends, and I believe she was happy with that. It is not just her appearance that shows that she is kind. In the way she gets along I’m sure she has a lot of friends.
Even though we were in the same class, I didn't know that she was like this. Apart from every time we had a lesson, my attention was always focused on the window. I don’t pay attention to anything else. No one wants to be..around me. And no one ever pays attention to me. Unless they have something to borrow from me. But that also rarely happens. If they look at me, it's like they want to erase me from the world. I would be lying if I said I didn’t notice that. It hurts me every time I see them looking at me as if I'm gonna kill them... They call me a weird lady.. They criticize me.. They always do whatever they want.. and it hurts me.
"Yo! Olive, come on!"
"You go first,"
"Huh?! You said you'll go with me?"
"Shut it, Vinn! Go! Shoo!"
It's okay for me to attach my bag with someone holding my hand.. My eyes widened. I stared at that hand. Huh?! I slowly looked up. My eyes widened even more when I saw whose hand it was.
"She's coming with me!" His loud statement surprised me. Slowly my head turned in Olivia's direction.
"You stupid Vinn! Let go of her!"
"No!"
"Who the hell do you think you are?! I asked her first! She's going with me!"
"Who cares? I was the first to touch her."
"What ?! Ugh! Vinn! She's my friend!"
"Whatever." Vinn let go of my hand and signaled that he was leaving. "See you."
"Hmp!" Olivia sighed. Eventually she was with me on the exit. This is the first time I left school earlier… with her. "Since we're friends already, why don't we hang out?" Her courtesy surprised me.
"Uhm.. I need to go home." I pulled my arm away from her grip and ran as fast as I could.
"Huh?! Hey, Jan! Wait!"
Before I could completely disappear from her sight, I looked at her again. She's smiling while waving at me. I smiled slightly at the expression on her face. Maybe we can be friends. It's..okay. It will be okay.
