Iris Elder sat on the bench before her class, doodling the same thing repeatedly: Iris x Jasper. The page was splattered with those names, along with hearts and passionate squiggles. She softly sang and giggled to herself, rejoicing in her newfound ecstasy.
Five thousand Sylvan dollars were slapped down on her page all of a sudden, interrupting her pleasant scribbles. “I want you tonight,” a voice said.
Iris knew who it was before she even heard him speak. She scanned the area to ensure no one else was eavesdropping. It was early in the morning, and college students were scattered sparingly across the campus. She looked up at the man, slicking her brunette curls back, only for them to bounce right back into place.
Iris smiled. “Lucas.” She stacked the money and handed it back to the young man. “I can’t.”
Lucas raised a brow. “Why not?”
She stared off onto her page, twisting her hair. “I’m kinda seeing someone now. You know Jasper, right? My ex?”
He inhaled and exhaled in exasperation. “Uh huh.”
“Last night, we went out, and we really bonded!” Iris blabbered about all the details of their date, her hands jumping all around as she spoke. “I think that we still have a shot at getting back together again. It really seemed . . . Right.”
Lucas pursed his lips together. “I see,” he said. He patted her shoulder and looked deep within her jade eyes, still smiling along with her bubbly cheeks. “I really hope it works out for you.”
Iris’s smile slightly wavered. “Your tone . . . What is it?”
“It’s just . . . “ Lucas rubbed the back of his neck and darted his eyes in every direction. “Just know that my offer is still on the table. That’s all.” He walked off and sat at another table.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Iris asked, but he didn’t entertain her question.
Someone caught her attention: it was Jasper, on his phone, walking past her. She snuck up on him, and put her hands over his eyes. “Guess who!” she beamed.
Jasper groaned and grabbed her wrists, prying her hands off his face. When he turned to face her, his eyes were baggy, and his hair, along with his clothes, were in disarray. “Iris,” he said. “Listen . . .”
“Do you wanna have lunch?” she asked, tilting her head, swaying back and forth.
“Oh no,” he mumbled, staring off into space. He closed his eyes for a moment and wiped his hand down his face. Finally, he looked at her. “Don’t get the wrong idea about what happened last night,” he said. “It was just that night. That’s it, that’s all.”
Iris’s smile shattered instantaneously. “What? But you said--”
“--I know what I said, but I didn’t mean it,” he interrupted. “I was just drunk and caught in the moment. I’m sorry, but I would rather just tell you now than lead you on.”
“Like how you led me on last night just to get in bed with me?”
He groaned. “This conversation is over. Once again, I’m sorry, but goodbye.” He scurried away.
Iris held her head in her hands, trying to process what had just happened. “Not again,” she whispered, as tears escaped her eyes.
Lucas approached her after the encounter and gently rubbed her back, comforting her. He leaned in. “I’ll see you at the usual place after school,” he whispered.
“Okay!” she blurted out, crying louder now.
He cradled her for a few seconds before going back to his table.
This pain . . . This despair . . . It didn’t matter how many times she’s been acquainted with it, it always hurt. If anything, it hurt more every time she met it. The pain of being used and tossed aside. The pain of growing close to someone, only to have it blown up in her face. Was it her own fault? Everyone tells her you should know by now, but she just . . . can’t know. Every time she falls for someone, she can only see what she wants to see.
How could she ease the pain? There was only one way, but she knew she couldn’t. Well, she could, but she shouldn’t. Eventually, the loneliness and betrayal really kicked in, and she had no choice but to cater to herself.
She rummaged through her backpack, which was filled with books, paper, and school supplies all in disarray. She scavenged all over for it. Where was it? She was certain it was still in there.
Ah, there it was. She forced out a mini water bottle, and swished around the contents inside. She chugged the remainder of it in one fell swoop without hesitation. Anyone would assume that she was just a regular college girl quenching her thirst with water, but Iris was just that good at drinking moonshine.
