"I’m sorry, Miss Thornton. This was a mistake on our side in the underworld. We grabbed the wrong soul."
Iris Thornton stared at the White Impermanence in front of her and nearly blew up on the spot.
She had just won a one-billion-yuan jackpot yesterday. Today, she was on her way to claim it, and before she could even get there, a brick dropped out of nowhere and smashed her dead.
And now they were telling her this idiot had taken the wrong soul?
"What do you mean, wrong soul? You think one light little 'we got it wrong' makes up for what I lost? I just won a billion! A whole billion! I was on the way to collect it, and then I got killed by a falling brick! Is this how you people do things? No, wait, you’re ghosts, not people. Is this how ghosts handle business? Get me back right now! Move it! Hurry up!"
Iris threw her head back and roared so loud the sound seemed to shake the air for yards.
Little White pulled a long face. "You can’t go back. Your head was smashed open. Brains everywhere. There’s no fixing that."
"Then what about my billion?" Iris’s voice trembled. "Do you even know how much money that is?"
"A billion! I already had my eye on a seaside villa, and a Ferrari 812 too. I’ve dreamed about that car more than once. And don’t even get me started on the bags, the clothes, the jewelry. My shopping cart was still full!"
"I was gonna travel around the world, stay in the fanciest five-star hotels, order the best food, and hire a few ridiculously handsome male models to tag along. I was finally gonna live it up for real."
"And because you dragged the wrong soul, it’s all gone. All of it’s gone!"
The more Iris talked, the louder she got, and the more wrecked she sounded.
She grabbed Little White by the shoulders with both hands and shook him like she’d gone mad.
"Give me back my ocean-view house! Give me back my Ferrari! Give me back my billion, aaahhhh!!!"
Thunk!
Little White’s head shook loose and rolled away across the ground.
Without a word, he bent down, picked it up, and stuck it back on.
Iris didn’t even pause. She kept shaking him.
Thunk!
Off it came again.
She shook him again.
Off it came again.
Back and forth like that, over and over, with no end in sight.
Little White had long since lost count of how many times his head had fallen off and how many times he’d put it back on. His once-round skull was now dented here and bulging there, looking like a beaten-up old ball.
All he kept saying, again and again, was one line:
"I’m sorry."
"It’s my first day reporting for duty in the underworld. I really wasn’t familiar with the process, and I messed the whole thing up."
"This is all on me. If you want to hit me, hit me. If you want to curse me out, go ahead. I’ll take it. I won’t complain."
By the end of it, he just shut his mouth and stood there with a look that said do whatever you want.
"I’m filing a complaint against you!"
Iris shouted it at full volume.
Little White was so scared he looked like his soul was about to leave his body all over again.
"Big sis! Please, don’t do that! I stood in line out there for a full hundred years before I finally got this underworld job! As long as you can be magnanimous and not report me, we can talk about anything. Anything at all, okay?!"
Iris said, "Then you compensate me."
Little White answered at once, "I will! Absolutely! You didn’t get your billion-yuan lottery money, right? I’ll convert it into actual goods and make it up to you that way. I’ll also throw in a storage space, and after that I’ll arrange for you to be reborn. That works, doesn’t it?"
"Deal!" Iris’s eyes lit up, and she started listing things immediately.
"First, put my seaside villa and my Ferrari 812 into the space. I’m not giving up either one."
"Then we can slowly go over supplies. Food, clothes, shelter, transport. I want all of it."
"For clothes: underwear, T-shirts, pants, shirts, long dresses, sweaters, padded coats, down jackets... fifty thousand sets of each. And make sure the sizes are complete."
"For food: staples first. Three hundred thousand jin of rice, two hundred thousand jin of flour, one hundred thousand jin each of millet, corn, and sorghum, and another hundred thousand jin of mixed grains. Then fruits, vegetables, meat, and seafood: watermelon, Hami melon, grapes, bananas, cabbage, lettuce, tomatoes, chicken, duck, fish, lamb, beef, rabbit, plus fish, shrimp, crab, shellfish... fifty thousand jin of each. Snacks are separate. Spicy strips, jelly, cake, chips, candy, chocolate, instant noodles... I like all of those. Ten thousand packs of each!"
"For living stuff: sofas, wardrobes, tables, beds, all the big furniture, ten thousand of each. Bedsheets, quilt covers, pillowcases, curtains, all of that too, ten thousand each. Appliances, skincare, household goods, medicine, tissues, bath products, cleaning supplies, pet supplies—anything people use in daily life, give me twenty thousand of each."
"For transportation: sedans, SUVs, pickups, sports cars, RVs, plus ships, yachts, speedboats, helicopters, motorcycles, tractors, bicycles. I want twenty of each."
"And some extras too, like designer bags, luxury cosmetics, gold, silver, jewelry, all that stuff. Twenty thousand sets of each. Outdoor sports gear and fitness equipment, five thousand pieces should do."
"Oh, right, almost forgot. I also want male models! At least one meter eighty-eight tall, and they need eight-pack abs. If male models are too hard to get, then give me a few robots instead. If the space is that big, I can’t be bothered to manage it all myself. Robots can do the work."
Iris rattled off the whole list in one go without pausing for breath.
Honestly, all those space-storage novels she’d read hadn’t been for nothing.
To be fair, she had rehearsed this kind of thing in her head countless times before—if she ever got a space of her own one day, and never had to worry about money again, what exactly would she stuff into it? She had even gone online and looked up guides for it.
That stuff had long been burned into her brain. She just hadn’t expected to actually use it today.
Little White was dumbstruck after hearing all that.
This girl really had no idea where to stop.
A rough calculation was enough to tell him this pile of stuff was way beyond one billion. Even ten billion probably wouldn’t be enough, let alone one.
Little White said, "Your list is already way over the line... how about cutting some of it?"
Iris said, "Either the list gets trimmed, or you get reported. Pick one."
Little White ground his teeth. "Fine, fine, fine! We’ll do it your way!"
Wuwuwu. The fortune he’d saved up over hundreds of years was done for. Totally wiped out this time.
Just get this ancestor out of here already!
Little White said, "I’ve already transferred everything into your space. Go get reborn now. I’ll even pick you a good family."
"Wait!"
Little White’s eyes went round. "What now? What other nonsense are you trying to pull?"
Iris said, "The stuff in the space is compensation for the billion I lost. But you still took my soul by mistake. We haven’t settled that part yet. You should compensate me a little more, shouldn’t you?"
Little White said, "...What else do you want?"
A smile curled at Iris’s lips, smug and perfectly justified. "Aren’t people in the underworld supposed to be powerful? Just give me some kind of cheat ability. I’m not picky."
Little White: ...
With a pained look on his face, he slowly reached into his pocket and fumbled around for a long while. In the end, he pinched out a small golden orb and tossed it at her with obvious reluctance. The thing went straight into her body.
"It’s called the Heart of the Beast World. With it, you can talk to animals, and you’ll also know what they’re thinking."
Iris’s eyes lit up at once. "Hey, this one’s actually really good!"
Little White twitched his mouth, bitter to the core. Of course you think it’s good. That was my emergency treasure, my real savings, and now it’s gone.
And just like that, Iris, carrying her space and her beast-language cheat, happily skipped toward the rebirth passage.
But the moment she got there, before she could step in properly, a kick landed squarely on her from behind. She shot sideways and got punted straight into the transmigration passage next to it.
At the same time, a cold snort drifted into her ears.
"You bled me dry and still think you’re getting reborn into a good family? Keep dreaming."
Iris: ...
Good lord, this guy really knew how to hold a grudge.
