Sarah’s POV
-Graduation day-
The principal made a long speech about how we should take our lives into our hands.
How we should fight our way to the top!
How we should try and achieve our goals no matter the obstacles getting in our way!
For most of my classmates, this was a stupid, unnecessary waste of time, they found nothing important or inspirational in the words that man was spitting out of his mouth. All they were thinking about was the graduation party, not the cliché speech that any grown adult would say to a freshly high school graduate. For some, this speech might even sound hypocritical.
But for me? For me, this speech was a dagger in my heart because I knew I could never do anything like that. I wasn’t a pessimist. No, I wouldn’t say that…but I was also not a dreamer. Life taught me that nothing is given to you the easy way and I took that lesson by heart.
The speech is over and everyone jumps up and down, they all cheer and throw their graduation caps in the air making the principal choke on his own saliva. Yeah, it's not exactly that legal… although it made me laugh. It was a beautiful sight.
To see all my classmates with big smiles on their faces, laughing, hugging, talking with people that to this day they didn’t even know. They were united by that wave of happiness. One that I could not relate with.
They cheer because it's over and I don’t even smile for the exact same reason. Because it’s over.
School kept me safe those seven hours every day. I was safe here, among people my age, who had problems like what they should wear, or how they should act around their crush. I wouldn’t have that safety net now.
And I was afraid…oh so scared of how I would be able to handle what was waiting for me, outside the school walls!
Sheryl: Hey, Sarah. Are you coming to the party tonight?
My thoughts are interrupted by that cheerful voice I got used to the past few years. Sheryl the blonde girl with a bright smile. She is wearing her graduation uniform but without losing her style. The white sneakers and her golden earrings catch your eye immediately when you look at her, of course after you notice her pretty face. She is wearing a thick layer of mascara and a very glossy lip gloss that only highlights her plump lips.
Sheryl is just another classmate of mine, the only one with that we chat with from time to time but not enough to be considered friends. To be honest I don't even know her last name but she is a rather nice person. Who am I kidding anyway? I can't have friends... it's better that way.
Sarah Lippman: I would like to...but I am not sure if I can...
I can’t and I won’t. But answering honestly her question would be simply pointless.
Sheryl: Ohh come on! It will be fun! Everyone will be there!
Sarah: I am sure it will be great. I just have some things to do...you know…
Sheryl: Oh, are you going to sign up for college? You have time! Don't worry, I thought about it too! I am thinking of studying fashion!
That would be awesome right?
Sarah: Sure! It's definitely gonna be.
Sheryl: What about you? What are you studying?
Sarah: I.. haven't decided yet... it's a little bit complicated, that's what I have to work out.
Or at least I’d hoped for that to be true. I force a smile at her not catching on any sign that she is ready to give up on the conversation.
Sheryl: Alright! I hope you can make it though! Billy was eyeing you all day! He actually asked me about you!
Sarah: Billy? The football team captain?
Sheryl: The one and only!
Sarah: Oh, thanks I guess.
I mentally slap myself for not showing the needed enthusiasm! What am I even discussing here?
Sheryl: What for?! Don't be so humble girl. Just make sure to come.
Sarah: I'll try.
Sheryl: See you then!
And with that, she leaves me alone. Even more alone than I was before. No...there is no graduation party for me.
And of course, there is no college, but how am I supposed to say that? What is she gonna do anyway? Probably just feel pity like so many others, and then what? And that boy? Billy. He is supposed to be the hot topic of the school and now Sheryl claims he likes me. How do you like someone when you haven’t once talked to them? How do you like someone when you have no idea what they are going through? I don't think I ever cared for these things, so why care now?
It didn’t matter anyway. I have learned to live a different way.
I just learned to walk with my eyes on the ground, so it blinded me to look up at anything else, anything normal.
The only normal thing in my life was probably Mike. The sweetest and kindest human being I have ever met. We became friends only here years ago but it felt like we knew each other forever. I met him unfortunately because some bully was humiliating him about how he liked men. Nobody did a thing.
So many of our classmates were around and not one defending him. They only looked away. But I couldn’t. We were kids and Mike was even an ear younger than me, I couldn’t abandon him in the mercy of a kid with no consciousness. We immediately reported the incident to the principal and he put anyone who dared to mock Mike in detention. From that day we got along really well, he was a friend with an older girl and that made him look cool.
I don't know how people think really! He eventually got recognition from everyone he even became his class's president. He was a real genius! He wanted to become a scientist at NASA and I am sure he will! On top of everything, he is the only person who knows what is going on in my home. He has offered me help but I know he can’t do much and with time I realised the less he knew the better.
I left the school and went to a café where Mike was waiting for me.
Mike: Here comes my favourite person!
Sarah: Hey.
Mike: Hey, Come on babe! It's your graduation day! Be happy! Congratulations on that by the way!
He hugs me tight and I chuckle at his affection as I hug him back. He smiles brightly offering me a banquet of roses.
Mike: This is a small gift from me to you. Seriously I don't know how I will survive one year without you!
I take the flowers and smile genuinely at my friend.
Sarah: Ohh, so sweet! You will do just fine believe me! Or is someone getting sentimental?
Mike: Whatever! I'll try to survive while you will be out there living a happy and exciting life!
Sarah: Mike, that's not the case.
Mike: You haven't done anything about it yet. Have you?
Sarah: Like what? What am I supposed to do?
Mike: Baby...he is abusing you. It's not healthy.
Sarah: He is my dad Mike. The only family I have.
Mike: Sarah...
Sarah: Don't worry about me. I'll manage.
I look down and he pulls me in his arms one more time know he does not understand fully how the situation is and he only wants to help. But that is impossible. I know because I have tried to help myself and found no salvation.
Mike: I am just frustrated I am not an adult yet! Or I would take you out of this shitty situation! I can't see you like this!
Sarah: Don't make me cry prick!
I give him a light punch on the chest and he smiles affectionately.
Sarah: Besides it's been three days since he last touched me. Maybe his drinking problem is improving.
Mike: That is not an improvement, Sarah.
I look down avoiding his gaze and he sighs shaking his head.
Mike: Look, I might not protect you but I have to be sure you will manage! So! I'll be calling you every day! Deal? If you don't pick it up one day I will let it slide. If you don't pick up and the second day I am calling the cops!
Sarah: Deal!
Mike: Perfect.
Sarah: I have to go but I'll see you around.
Mike: You better.
I smile at him as I return to my house.
