Many people have stories about their past that they never get tired of telling over and over to everyone. Others simply appreciate their existence at the present moment without looking back at the past. I am neither of those people.
I have no stories to tell.
Some might call me a liar for saying that. I have always had everything I wished for. But there was constantly one aspect missing, and it was love.
Without love, all of those other things and people around me seemed like nothing but a hole in existence. The void that doesn't even require to be filled, only overlooked.
I had constantly secretly craved to rise above that materialistic understanding of perfection, although it would often work only partly for me, since the greed was buried deep into my being pulsing through my body together with the blood as my heart would beat.
"Good morning, Celestia!" My mother walked into the dining room and watched me the entire time while she was taking a seat at the table.
"Good morning, mom..." I haven't begun eating yet because I knew I had to wait for her to come so I can start, although I was starving and she took longer to get prepared than expected.
"How did you sleep?" She initiated taking something from the table which was a signal to me to dig into the table as if it was the last meal in my life.
"Good..." I said trying to look as polite as possible while taking a bit of everything around me.
"You obviously have a hard day in front of yourself, considering how big of an appetite you suddenly got." She looked at me mockingly. I instantly ended grabbing any more food to my plate.
"No, I actually just..."
"That's alright, dear. I fully understand you. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. We will simply go to your modeling agency after we have breakfast and inform them you are no longer interested in looking good." She said while spreading butter on her toast.
"I'm sorry..." I didn't feel as if there was something I should apologize about, but I certainly didn't want my mother to think I was disobeying her in any way. After all, mothers only want what's best for their children.
"I'm sure you are. As always. But that doesn't help, does it? The excuse is not what I want from you, Celestia."
"And what is it..." I carefully raised my head up and looked at her. "That you seek from me?"
"It is improving. How do you not know that already? I constantly repeat it to you but you never listen!"
"I will try to change." I said depressingly dropping my head like a puppy.
"Don't! I do not expect you to change in any way if the change will be for worse! And that is all you have been doing recently. Thank God now you are finally not a minor anymore and I am not responsible for all the trouble you might cause with the way you behave and I am convinced there will be many!"
"That is what I wanted to talk to you about... You know that today is my eighteenth birthday." I was frightened of the way she will respond to my question.
"I know." She said while taking a bite of her toast. I expected her to at least wish me a happy birthday.
"Well... I was thinking... Maybe I could invite a few friends over." I already noticed how she started shaking her head no and I got really desperate. "Mother, please... I promise we will all behave. There will be no music, no alcohol, I won't even have a cake if that is what you want! Just please let me celebrate my birthday for once..."
"Celestia, I am surprised you're even asking me that question. It is like you don't even know me. You know very well what I think of birthdays and any celebrations. They are completely unnecessary."
"But I told you... It won't be a party in any way. I won't even have presents. Please, I only wish to feel like it is my birthday for once in my entire life."
"Happy birthday, Celestia. There, you had your moment. Now stop with all the drama and get ready. I am taking you to your photo shooting."
"Another one? But I just had one yesterday..."
"That was only because of your graduation. You know very well that doesn't count. Stop whining and get dressed!"
"Alright..." I went to my room. Sometimes I feel bad for not having a father, but at times like this I wish I don't have a mother either.
Once the photo shooting was finally over after I've done nothing but changing poses and smiling for three hours I have asked people have they seen my mother because I was dying to go home and she seemed to be gone.
I knew I could've expected her to leave me here but I never thought she would actually do it.
While walking through those hallways, I've seen a boy around my age, but I wasn't able to see his face because of all the packages he was carrying.
"Coming through! Attention!" He said in a funny way tilting his head a little to make sure he wouldn't bump into me.
I laughed at the way he said that and moved forward until I was finally able to see him.
"I knew packages couldn't speak." I said revealing what's behind them. I didn't expect a person that was able to carry all those packages to be that skinny.
"They speak where I come from." He smiled trying not to drop any of the boxes.
"And where is that, exactly?"
"It's a land of madness."
"Well..." I was surprised by his answer and needed a good comeback right away. "You certainly look like you live there."
For a moment he seemed offended, but in the next one he just laughed at what I said making me feel better.
"You seem lost in this land of madness. Can I help you somehow?"
"I am not lost. But someone I am looking for might be. And you look more like you need help than I do."
"No, I can handle this. There are just clothes in them." He put the boxes down next to the hallway so that people would be able to walk if they come. "Now tell me. Who got lost and where?"
"My mother. I can't find her, but I doubt she's lost. She probably just left me here."
"I see... That sounds like a great mother." I wasn't sure if that was sarcastic or not.
"Sarcasm?"
"No... Why would you even think that?"
"Alright, well... I have to find my mother, so... You can go back to work!" I started walking through the hallway again with no idea of where should I go.
"Wait!" He stopped me as I hoped he would. "I can help you find your mother."
I turned around trying not to smile and look like I didn't care if he wants to come with me or not at all.
"How?"
"Does she have blonde curly hair? She wore a white suit and red heels?"
"Yes! That's her! Where is she?"
"She has left through the fire stairs. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm sorry. She left me on my birthday..."
He didn't say anything. Everyone would be surprised by that.
I remembered what she has told me about not letting anyone feel sorry for me.
"Alright, thank you. I have to go now. My driver is probably waiting for me outside." I flipped my hair trying to make him feel unworthy of talking to me.
"Okay... I'll be here for the next half an hour or so, if you need anything." He lifted up his packages again.
"I won't. Thank you. Goodbye!" I turned around and left with some of my dignity still left after speaking to him.
I went outside the building standing in the entrance where there were ten people smoking and all the smoke was magically coming to my face. I turned my head in another direction but that didn't help stop my nausea.
I didn't even realize I was standing at the door when someone suddenly opened them behind me and I almost fell. The doors were metal so all the smokers looked at me when they heard the noise.
The person behind the door was that guy that tried to help me find my mother. I was so embarrassed that he would recognize me and see that I'm still here after I said there is a driver waiting for me.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" He apologized while closing the door back. I was glad he wasn't laughing at me like all the others were.
"It's alright." The space was very small and crowded so I have stood as close to the fence as I possibly could but it still wasn't enough for me to get me away from those smokers.
"Are you alright? I hope I didn't hurt you..." Although I had no desire to speak to him I felt so good when he showed some kind of concern for me. I wasn't used to that.
"No. I'm fine." I said leaning my head over the fence and looking down at the street. Jumping didn't look like such a terrible idea at this moment.
"What are you doing? Looking if it's high enough for suicide?" He smiled.
"What are you, a mind reader?"
"No. Let's just say I have an ability to recognize others' feelings." He moved closer to me so he wouldn't have to speak so loud and so others wouldn't be able to hear us.
I put my nose inside my shirt unable to breathe in all of those toxic smoke that was coming to me. He noticed that and laughed.
"I hate it too. Does your method work?" He said while stretching his shirt too.
"Kinda. You don't smoke?"
"Nope." He said letting go of his shirt.
"Are you also waiting for someone?" I asked after a minute of awkward silence between us that was even more awkward because the smokers next to us didn't stop talking and laughing.
"No. I just like to stand here after work." I thought he was joking but after looking at the serious expression on his face I figured he wasn't.
"Why? How can you possibly stand this?"
"It's not that hard. It's what's waiting for me when I get home what I truly can't stand."
"Maybe I shouldn't ask, but... What is it?"
"Nothing." He crossed his arms and put them on the fence leaning forward a little.
I didn't say anything. I wasn't even sure what he meant by that.
"I remembered when you left that I didn't even wish you a happy birthday. Well, happy birthday..." He said like he's trying to remember my name.
"I can see what you're doing. My name's Celestia."
"Oh my... Did your parents hate you?"
"What? No... I don't think so..."
He laughed. "I was just kidding. It's a nice name. My name's Chance by the way."
"Really?"
"No. But really now, I'm Connor."
"It's not actually nice to meet you."
"I think I already like you. You're the first honest girl I've met. I mean, seriously. What is there to like about me?"
"I wasn't serious."
"You weren't?"
"No. Maybe just a little..."
"So partly honest... I can live with that."
"Why would you have to live with that? You think we will meet again in the future?"
"I don't know. We might..."
"Don't be so sure about that."
"I'm not. I'm only hoping."
His sudden interest in me and all the care that he showed was something that stick me close to him and got us both into a deep conversation. I've never thought that I could like someone this much, and we have only met.
I even liked him more than I would ever acknowledge to myself. In my mind, he was just someone that was making me company while I am waiting for my mother to pick me up, but my heart knew he was more than that.
