The Only Way Is Up

　　I wasn't always like this.

　　These were Morgan's thoughts while he stared at his reflection in the mirroron the bathroom wall. The twinkle in his eye that he once held onto throughouthis childhood and adolescence was nowhere to be found. If he had to be honestwith himself, it had been gone long before today but he continued to look forit, everyday, in the hope that it would someday return to him. The hollowfeeling seemed to grow in power, daily, consuming every ounce of life andenergy from his body

　　He had tried everything possible to fill this gaping hole in his soul: alcohol, food, organized religion, gambling and searching for love. All he had to show for it was a mild gambling addiction, a raging alcohol addiction, heartache and an account balance that was distressingly painful to look at. Ending it all seemed like the only possible escape from it and his training in the medical field had given him quite a list of methods he could employ to achieve his goal. Some were so painless that he would not feel a thing, yet he could not bring himself to do it. The smouldering embers of hope that yet resided in him made sure of that. As he continued to contemplate his life or more precisely what was left of it, his phone buzzed. It was a message from the consultant doctor at the hospital where he worked as a resident. After a few keystrokes and hitting the send button, he returned to staring at his reflection.

　　Happy face, happy face.

　　One of the few pleasures he got in life now was saving lives. The act of playing god did not appeal to him but the smiles and comments that he received for a job well done were far more gratifying. Five minutes later and he was ready to go. After locking the door behind him and double checking, he took a deep breath in.

　　It's time to face another day.

　　Morgan Drake was clearly not ready for today. It was a day that was like any other day he had faced but for some reason, today felt different. Perhaps it was due to the lack of energy he had been experiencing for a while or maybe he was expending more energy than he was used to. It felt like half of the time, most of his energy was spent on putting up a front than on his actual work. If everything looked okay, which it wasn't, then less prying eyes would be focused on his business. He knew from the few whispers he'd heard that some stories of his personal struggles, something he was not too pleased about.

　　As far as they know, they are just rumors.