“Wanda! Tell me you found her! Please, tell me we can get to her before she moves again.”
My heart twists as a wave of panic washes over me. I have been living with such longing and regret for the last few years that I think I’m going crazy. Why didn’t I just tell Katie when we were at the university together that I liked her? No, I love her.
I fell in love with her almost instantly. Her deep dimples are just so adorable, and the way she gets so grumpy at me always sends my heart fluttering, but I’ve messed it all up. I didn’t tell her how I truly felt, and I know she was given a chance of a lifetime to do her internship and residency at a prestigious hospital on the other side of the country. I have wanted to tell her so many times, but she always acts like she didn’t like me. Then I was stupid and let my fear of her rejecting me take control. There is no way I could handle it if things between us became awkward since our friends were dating each other, and we are always together with them.
It wasn’t until her going away party when I finally found out how she actually feels about me. To say I’m shocked is an understatement. Even now, years later, I’m totally blown away and still can’t believe it. Katie has liked me the whole time, and she actually has fallen in love with me, too. I used to pretend to be drunk because it always would make her feel a little more comfortable around me, and now I know why. She is secretly in love with me while I’m secretly in love with her, too.
The rest of that evening is the best night of my life. That is, until the morning came, and I wake up alone in my bedroom. Katie is nowhere in sight and has snuck out of my bedroom. I rush to her place to see if I can talk to her before she leaves, but I’m too late. I even run to the airport, but once again, I’m too late.
To think back to that night, I was so close to getting what I want and to have it ripped away from me was just not fair. I had waited for years to have her be mine and that last night together, even though she thought I was drunk and wouldn’t remember, she finally gave herself to me. All of her, and now she is mine. I want her back so badly. My heart aches every time I think about not having her close to me.
I will never forget when she told me she loves me. I was so happy, and it made me even more aroused. I had another passionate round with her while I kept telling her I loved her, too. She may have thought it was the alcohol, but it wasn’t. I was telling her my honest feelings. I just wish she didn’t think I was drunk. Come on, what drunk man, who is supposedly so drunk he can’t remember anything, can make love for hours? Round after round, I never slowed down. I just couldn’t get enough of her. It tasted so good. One taste just wasn’t enough. I can still remember the whole evening like it happened yesterday, and it has been six years. Six long, agonizing years. I haven’t been able to see or talk to her.
In the back of my mind, I’m afraid she has found someone new. Someone to replace me and who she can actually tell her true feelings to.
Wanda flashes me a brilliant smile and nods her head. “I’m positive we have found her and, for once, she hasn’t moved. Previously, she has been staying in a place for only a few months, but this time she has been in the same spot for about six months. Are you sure you really want to do this?”
I nearly jump across her living room at her as I shout, “YES!! I’m going to go get my Katie back!”
Wanda flashes me a smile and chirps, “Good. I have the plane tickets bought and we are all leaving in a couple of hours. Go get some stuff packed and I’ll be by your place to pick you up shortly.”
I immediately dash over to her and give her a big hug. I can’t wait to finally see my Katie after so long. I wonder if she has changed at all. I’m sure she is just as cute and beautiful as she was before.
***
I stare at my dresser and then at my closet. I don’t know what to pack, but I know one thing I’m taking. I can’t forget the engagement ring I had bought shortly after our blissful night. My plan back then was to ask Katie to start dating when she got back, and then, after several months, I would propose. I wanted to marry her so badly that I was almost tempted to just propose to her when she got back, but Wanda talked me out of it. She said I need to date Katie first before going straight into marriage.
To me, though, I already knew Katie was the one. I didn’t have any question about it, and I was just hoping she felt the same way too.
I finally pack my bags and am ready to go. As I dash out of my bedroom, I nearly forget to grab my passport, but I remembered and stop before I rush back and get it.
My stomach flutters at the thought of getting to see Katie soon.
***
My foot bounces while my fingers fiddle with each other. I glance to the seat beside me at my friends as my stomach twists and fear nips at me.
Wanda gives me a sympathetic look and softly says, “Mark, calm down. This will be the time we find her. She isn’t going to get away from us. Okay.”
From the other side of Wanda, Evan tears his focus off his phone and looks over at me as he quickly adds, “Mark, I’m sure we are going to find her. I know we have messed up in the past, and we didn’t get there before she moved again, but I have a feeling we will get there before it is too late. Don’t worry.”
Izzy pops up from behind and peers over the airplane seats at us and chirps, “We are all just as anxious as you are to find Katie, so please calm down.”
Without thinking, I whip my head around and hiss, “It wasn’t you who found out she loved you the night before she left for his internship, and it wasn’t you who confessed to her that you love her, too. It also wasn’t you who spent hours making love to the woman of your dreams to only wake up the next morning and find yourself alone in the bed without a note or any sign she was even there. It was the best night of my life, but it is starting to feel like only a dream. I want her back, and I want to marry the love of my life.”
Wanda stares at me. Confusion clouds her vision as she hesitantly asks, “Mark, when Katie took you home that night from the bar, are you saying you had sex with her? How? You were so drunk.”
I suddenly realize what I just said and wish I could take it back, but I can’t. I slowly turn my attention at her and confess. “I always act drunk when I’m drinking with Katie. She always seemed to be more comfortable and would actually talk to me. That last night, I was acting, but I wasn’t drunk at all. I remember everything and when she confessed to me she had been in love with me for years, we both couldn’t stop ourselves. We gave ourselves to each other, and we eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms. But I woke up alone. I have been waiting for her ever since.”
Izzy leans over the seats further and softly confesses, “Katie didn’t even tell us she liked you. Evan and I both had our doubts, though. She was always following you with her eyes whenever you were close, and she acted like she didn’t want to hear about you, but she often would hide a smile when we were talking about you, especially when we would talk about you rejecting people who confessed about liking you or who wanted to go out on a date with you.”
I might as well tell them everything. “I wasn’t going to date anyone while I was in love with Katie. That is why I haven’t dated anyone since the first moment I saw her. I know it sounds crazy, but I just can’t try to date someone else when my heart is already taken by her.”
Wanda pats my shoulder. “Mark, we all understand. We have all done that. Shoot, Izzy and Frank surprised everyone when they suddenly stopped being players and hooking up with people. Everyone noticed. Did you forget? It was only later when we found out they had fallen for each other and that was why they changed.”
I remember, but it doesn’t really help me right now. How long is this flight going to be? I want to get there and find Katie fast. I just hope she still loves me like she used to. I don’t know if I could take it if she doesn’t.
Please, Katie. Please, still love me and be waiting for me. I’m coming for you, my love.
