I am literally getting lazy during these days. I don't know the reason, but one thing's for sure I am doomed. I am an average kid that was once called 'smart one.' I was so obsessed in getting good grades and making it to the top before I entered college. Before, I just wanted to make my mother proud of me. Now? I don't know, that past me seem so distant. I have come a long way in maturing I guess. Well. That's the kind of maturity in my own perspective. Don't get me wrong, I do still want to make her proud but I want to protect myself from destruction as well. I don't want to drain myself too much that I might die of exhaustion. I have learned to love myself and there's nothing wrong with that. And now, it seems like my new perspective reflected on what is going on with my life now.
I am now on my way to my second to the last subject for the day. Currently on my sophomore year, but still I am getting nervous with what I am going to see in my class. Who would be my classmates? I don't know. My friends are having their major subject right now about surveying and I am here attending on a minor subject. I feel so left out. Of course, I should. I deserve this with my continuous dropping of my math subjects I end up missing my major subjects instead. The way I avoided math backfired which I did not expect. I thought could still take them up in the future and not affect my other subjects.
I finally arrived. No familiar faces. I guess I'd be stuck up all alone this whole semester for this subject. Our professor arrived and let us introduce ourselves and gave us a group activity. I stayed on my chair since it's just the same place where our professor told the team I belong to group together.
"Is this group three?" A tall fair guy with thick eyebrows asked me. I just nodded, but I guess he did not noticed it since he asked someone again. I did not bother to look at him from head to toe, since I am not interested anyway. We were tasked to ask someone regarding what how globalization affects everything or how useful it is and went on to interview someone outside our room.
Right after we reach about ten meters from our room the guy with thick brows met someone he is acquainted to so we have to stop by. I got pretty annoyed on how he talked with the guy since we don't have that much time. Then, he unexpectedly asked the other guy to answer the questions we've prepared for the interview, but the guy refused to saying he doesn't know a thing about the topic. I was getting ready to go since we've wasted a minute already waiting for that thick eye browed guy, when he offered to just give the answer to him and pretend that it was really an interview when it is not. This anemic person is really getting into my nerves. We could have had a better interview than getting some information that was fed by one of my group mates. I should probably give him a five out of twenty score. Yeah, he's good looking but that doesn't matter at all if you lack any sense of awareness or some kind of sensitivity.
I am not going to include this useless interview to our summary. As we moved on to the next one, he asked me if what year am I in and what course am I taking. I answered flatly not showing any interest to continue the conversation.
"I am on my sophomore year in BS Architecture." And that ended the conversation, I am not in the mood to talk with him. He seem like a typical famous varsity student who have a beautiful girlfriend. Disgusting creatures. Honestly, I don't envy those kind of people, they tend to aspire in satisfying or befriending everyone. I am satisfied with just two or one friend and know some personally while maintaining a wall between us. I don't want to get involved with everyone and just end up hurting myself. I've learned so much in the past years.
The whole time wasn't what anyone could call eventful, but since we've managed to secure at least one decent answer from an instructor in our department, I would score this subject for this day five out of ten.
I survived a day without them. Should it be a big achievement for me? I tend to turn mute whenever I am not around my friends. I get along with almost everyone but I don't feel comfortable to those that I don't trust. I would rather choose being alone than be with someone I don't like.
I was able to walk with them for two minutes after my last subject for the day. This last semester has given too much night schedules but almost empty with daytime.
"Ying! Dan! I'm glad I finally saw you for the whole day. I missed you both." I hugged my girl friend Ying and nodded to Dan.
Dan jokingly nudged me and looked at me in fake looking confused face and spoke to me.
"You're being so dramatic, we will see each other tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and so on. Just be happy that that you did not have to transfer school." I may look second oldest among our company but I am sure that they are way too mature than me.
"Yeah, you're right. I should get going cars this time should be difficult to find. Take care!" I waved at them before I looked straight to where I am going.
I went straight to my bed as I finally arrived the dormitory I am staying in for almost two years. I have no friends here anymore. The four of them left here last summer. It was kind of depressing since I used to having them and sharing my day with them. Whenever I am short in money they let me lend some. They've been my comfort zone for just a year but helped me a lot in coping up with my stress.
Sometimes I just want to have a boyfriend, but fate won't let me. I don't know, maybe because in myself I don't want that added responsibility for me. It would just add up in my stressful life. But I really want to.
Two days after that interview for globalization, I was assigned well technically, I volunteered to present it in our class. No one wants to present, I assumed that they're not just interested. I was just the sole girl in our group, and if you would guess it right, girls normally speak in front, boys that speaks in front are real treasures. Sadly some don't think that way especially if they don't have much choice. In the end their presentations turn into an epitome of mediocrity. For guys out there who are achievers, don't be offended you're not the one I am disappointed to, but to those who are so talkative when talking with their seatmates then suddenly turn quiet when an instructor asks him a questions. They are the most common breed of annoying male species.
Anyway, I was so hyped that day, it was because I just miss presenting in front of the class which we don't normally do in our major subjects. If you're an architecture student, you would agree that we don't usually stand in front of the class and present for an hour. My skills are not really that good in my class, I just make up my shortcomings in my minor subjects which releases me from stress. That is why I took all the possible minors that I could fit in my schedule.
I am not really a native speaker of English language, that is why I often had to stop to translate what I have to say and utter some fillers which frustrates me the most.
I was talking about monopoly when someone corrected me when he noticed that I hesitated with my choice of word.
"Monopolization." It's the way he corrected me I found appealing the most, since no one in our class called out my mistake.
This monotonous life went on for one week, until one night after a busy day a message request popped on to my messenger.
