Sabrina's p.o.v.
Waves of shock crashed over me as I stared into his ocean blue eyes trying registered what was being said. " I just don't see us working out. You want to settle down and have this big extravagant family with all the bells and whistles that goes along with it and frankly I just don't want anything to do with that." he said with a matter of fact tone that snapped me out of the trance I was in.
"What do you mean you don't want any of it? I'M ALMOST THREE MONTHS PREGNANT. What happened to everything you told me the other day after the sonogram?"
Oh gods how is this going to work, I can't do this alone. What if I... Goddess NO I could never do that. I would never be able to live with myself. My heart started to race so fast it felt like it was going to run away from me.
" I thought I could handle it, but I simply don't want to be a father. I'll pay child support or whatever; but I'm done I'm going home." He said in finality. He turned and walked away leaving me standing there on the sidewalk just just outside the Dr. office dumbfounded not knowing what to say or do.
I had so many emotions and questions running around in my head I just don’t know what to do. What the hell did I do wrong. How do I do this. Where am I going to go. I have nothing, no one; I don't even have an apartment of my own... Oh wait I can still try and make this work I can go home after the Dr. appointment and win Jayden back. I can make him realize just how good of a father he will be. I mean we have been through a lot together. He won't throw all that away right.
The sun seemed to shine brighter and the clouds seemed to have vanished. I could feel the rays of the sun warming my face as if to dry the tears and bring a smile to my face. I looked around thankful that no one was near by enough to have heard any of that or at least no one was staring.
I walked into the Dr. office with a new found resolve. looking around the waiting room i watched all the fathers sitting there with the mothers some with other kids some look to be on their fist kid, I looked on with love in my heart and a new bounce to my step I walked to the front counter to check in. "I'm here to see Dr. Reed." I said with excitement in my voice. " He will be right with you he's just finishing up with another patient." The receptionist replied
I sat down in one of the many empty uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room and look around at all the different couples in the different stages of their pregnancies and start day dreaming of coming home to our little apartment holding onto a beautiful baby while Jayden holds on to us both.
“Welcome home babe look what I did while you were in the hospital” Jayden said as he guided me to the spare room in the apartment. I looked around and seen that he had cleaned all of his gym stuff out and in it’s place was a crib and a changing table. My eyes began to tear up. “oh Jayden its wonderful but where did you put your stuff?” I asked
"Ma'am the Dr. will see you now" the receptionist said bringing me out of the daydream I was in.
I started to get nervous as I walked into the room, today's the day they give me the results of my blood work, I didn't know what they would find. What confused me the most was the Dr. was already in the room sitting on the little stool while staring at the computer screen. I glance around thinking something must be wrong the Dr.’s never in the room before the patient right?
Oh Gods... They found something wrong with the baby! Oh goddess please don't let there be something wrong with the baby. I started to panic and fiddle with my fingers, the Dr. must have turned around when I came in and seen my mood change.
"Miss Rosenberg how are..." "Give it to me straight Dr. Reed, just tell me what's wrong with my baby. so I can come to terms with it
"Oh God no child what in the world gave you that idea?" He said surprising me. Relief washing over me like a hot bath relaxing my muscles.
"I.... I.... Well it's because you were here in the room waiting on me. Normally I have to wait in here for a while to be seen." I stuttered.
"Well there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your baby so don't you worry. I was in here early due to me finishing my charting early." He said
" In fact I have some good news. I was just going over your results Would you like to know the sex. There's this new test that can tell you the sex through the blood work and your insurance covered it." He continued when I didn't say anything. I looked at him with excitement and I could only shake my head yes
"You my dear girl are having a little boy congratulations. And by the way your blood work came back perfectly healthy for both you and baby. Just stop drinking so much soda." He said nodding in my direction, I fallow his gaze to my hands realizing I still had a Mt Dew clutched in my fingers “yes I will try to get off the soda” I said with a smile
On my way home I started to get excited again. I decided instead to walk to the store and went straight to the baby section and looked at all the different little baby boy cloths. I seen one cute oncie that said
mommy’s handsome prince
so I picked it up and put it in the basket I kept looking at all the different racks, I found one that said
grandmas little bug
and on the last rack that I looked at I seen one that said
I love dad
after finding that last onceie I walked to the front of the store along imagining the different ways our baby could look like us. Envisioning the three of us being happy together.
All too soon I was back on my way home. Dancing in the sun light soaking up all the warmth I could. The streets didn’t seem near as drab as they normally do. It was like the suns rays lit all the shadows up and took away the darkness. Even my apartment looked good in the distance though the entrance in in the ally way you can still see the building from the street. It was a run down blue gray building with a dark navy blue trim normally I am a little unnerved coming to the building without Jayden but looking at it today brought a bubble of happiness.
When I reached my apartment I turned the corner and caught a glimpse of the lanky but buff figure with long chocolate waves cascading over his shoulders. I peeked a look at his six pack of muscles through the wife beater under shirt that he wore with my favorite black button up shirt undone and wrapped around his muscular shoulders. He was the one and only Jayden Casanova. Just standing their talking to the Devin from down the hall the one who I didn't get along with. I put up with him because hes the landlord. With his gangster looking cloths, with his pants half way down his ass and a wife beater on as well with his hats bill facing the side. looking away from the two men I quickly noticed that all my stuff was strewn across the hall and that he had had what looked to be the last of my stuff in his hands
"What the hell are you doing?" I exclaimed as I picked up my pace. He looked up at me with a cold death glare and he finished putting the last of my meager belongs outside the apartment door. The ass hole next to Jayden started to laugh and handed Jayden what looked to be a piece of paper and walked away still laughing. I hated that man the only problem was I had to play nice because he was the landlord.
"I told you Sabrina I'm done. I don't want you or your baby." He stated
"So your telling me you don't want anything to do with our son? Yeah that’s right hes a boy." I said trying to push past him into the apartment so that we can sit down and properly talk.
"Who the hell do you think you are trying to force your way into my house. I mean Congratulations on your baby boy and all, but if you don't mind please take your crap and go." He said with a smart ass attitude.
" What are you talking about Jayden this is just as much my house as it is yours. My names on the lease too, now lets go inside and talk this through like adults." I said trying to push past again
" speaking of lease your no longer on it at least not according to this new lest I just signed." he said as he waved the piece of paper that ass whole Devin gave him
"Oh and by the way I want my key back it will just be simpler, that way I don't have to go through the trouble of changing the locks." He continued with a blank expression on his face that looked like that of a stranger.
My life just shattered into a million pieces. My son will go through life without his father. Now what do I do? I stepped back until I felt the wall, I then slid down that wall until I sat on the floor my brain no longer working all I could so is stare at nothing in particular but the drabby hallway seemed to darken and cave in on me. I could no longer hear what was going on around me I was just lost in world of nothing and everything all at once and the silence I heard though I'm sure there was no silence was deafening I was so lost I don't even know how long I have been sitting here.
