HOLLY
Holly Scallanger would’ve liked to think that things were looking up for her when it came to Jake Peters.
Two days ago, she had the kinkiest sex with him in the gym's bathroom, but now, her insecurities were set in as she hadn't seen him since that night.
She couldn't help but feel that she was just a piece of ass to the 'two-time bastard.'
Ollie did tell her he had a thing for Strawberry blondes. Was that all she was to him? A strawberry blonde.
Then again, he called her Bee Puke, and it felt like old times when she was with him.
No, it was better than old times, but afterward, she always felt like a dog.
So, she made up her mind.
She couldn't do this to herself, and she needed to find a way to distance herself from Jake Peters.
She cringed when she saw Beast parked in his spot.
Her stomach started to turn.
Two days wasn't nearly enough to distance herself from him. "Hello, slowpoke," Moira greeted her. "Go get dressed," she was so giddy in the mornings. "We have plenty to do before today's pacemaker surgery."
A part of her was grateful for the case. It meant that she wouldn't run into Jake later today or find herself stuck in a corner with him.
Moira took Holly through all the preparations necessary for the pacemaker transplant.
When the transplant surgery was over, Holly was sure Jake had already left. It was late,eight in the evening. As soon as she was done updating the patient's file, she rushed off to the ladies' room, and upon walking out, realized that she'd just walked past Jakewhen she looked up. Averting her eyes, she pretended to not have seen him—to no avail. He saw her. He grabbed her coat, pulling her backward and dragging her in the direction he'd been headed. She knew what was about to happen. Again.
She wanted to be with him so badly, but she couldn't. She had to stop it, whatever it was.
When he took her into a storeroom, he immediately began to kiss her, or rather, he kissed her once, then moved to her neckline.
"Stop." Holly pushed him slightly away from her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, with more questions in his eyes and a slight grin on his face. "Is it—"
Holly didn't allow him to finish whatever he was going to say. "Am I okay?" She looked athim. "No, Jake. I'm not. I can't do this anymore, and it's not just because I feel like shit afterward."
Jake's face fell, and he looked the other way. "You're really starting with this shit again?" he asked, clearly not believing her.
She shook her head. "I'm serious. I can't do this, and I won't do this. You have a family, for crying out loud."
He sniffed hard, the expression on his face clearly telling her that he was irritated and slightly annoyed, all because she'd just ruined a fun activity for him. That pissed her off.
"I'm not a toy, Jake, that you can fuck whenever you want, then chuck aside until the next time."
"Holly, I never—"
"Don't!" Her finger was in his face. "You make me feel like a cheap whore every single time this happens." She felt like crying, but she swallowed her tears.
Jake gave her an odd look. But to Holly, it told her he knew exactly what she was saying. He just wasn't prepared to admit it.
"You hardly kiss me; we don't ever talk. Not to mention the fact that you don't text me for days, and then show up out of the blue expecting..." she trailed off, chuckling sadly. "I can't do this crap anymore, so please, let's end this before people get hurt."
Jake was silent, and he didn't even have the decency to look at her properly. Deciding that was the closest thing to a reaction she was going to get from him, she turned and left. Even though her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces, she couldn't continue with this farce.
A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, and she swiped at it with the back of her hand. She didn't want to think about Jamie, or whatever she'd have to tell her one day about her father. Jamie would one day grow up and not believe in the fairy tale Holly had told her. She'd want to know who her father was and why he wasn't in her life. And then, Holly wouldn't be able to lie to her anymore, and she'd end up hurting the only person who would never stop loving her.
Jake hadn't wanted the babies when she was pregnant, and he hadn't wanted her either. Hestill didn't want her. All he wanted from Holly now was sex.
By the end of her shift that evening, she was exhausted from merely trying to concentrate the entire day. Changing, she grabbed her things and went home, not have theslightest clue how she managed to get there safely since she couldn't remember noticing anything on the road. After a hot bath, she tried to watch TV, but eventually gave up andwent to bed, although once again, she struggled to fall asleep.
Holly should have felt proud of herself for telling Jake their affair had to end, but she didn't. She wanted him. Everything that was her wanted him, and the fact that he didn't fight for her should've been the warning light putting things in the right perspective for her. But it didn't.
She guessed that the saying, 'The heart wants what the heart wants,' was true. And hers wanted him, even though he was the biggest fucking idiot on two legs when it came to her and her feelings.
The following morning, she walked into another emergency, and Moira asked her to scrub in again. They ended up being busy right through the day until seven that evening. But Moira wasn't tired. She wanted a night out, and she wanted Holly to join her.
"Come on, Holly. Join me, please," Moira begged again.
"I'm tired."
"It will be fun. You need mingling time, as well as a tall drink in your hand, followed by a couple of shots."
"I'm the intern here. Don't you have any attending friends?"
"I do, but they are all so serious and boring," Moira replied with a pout. "Please?"
Holly didn't want to go. Seeing how close Moira and Jake were left no doubt that Moira was just as close to Amelia. Going out with Moira might mean running into Amelia.
"Who's going with?"
"Only me. Ugh." She pulled her face. "And Kate. I forgot about her."
Holly couldn't help but giggle. "You don't like your cousin-to-be?"
"It's not that, she's a real darling, really, even though she is horrible when it comes to remembering someone's name. I'm not excited about hanging out with her tonight."
Holly laughed, shaking her head, but Moira wouldn't let up. "Please, come with. I'm begging you."
"Fine, I'll go," she snarled, smiling, finally giving in. Moira hadn't mentioned Amelia's name, but if she was there, well, maybe it was time to finally put all her angerinto words.
Why she couldn't bring herself to pull Jake aside and lay it all out for him was beyond her. It probably had something to do with Amelia not being able to have babies, but after what Amelia did to her, she shouldn't care less—the woman had betrayed her in theworst way.
At Downstairs, she was happy to find fewer people there than last time, with only a couple of groups hanging around tables. Grunting, she took a deep breath when she caughtKate lifting her hand to wave at Moira. When they neared, Kate's eyes widened on noticing Holly. "Hey. Who's this?" she asked, looking at Moira. Her eyes were huge, which made her look like a cartoon character.
"Kate, this is Holly. Holly, Kate. She's an intern at Downsend."
"Nice to meet you," Holly said. Kate smiled, but Holly didn't like the way she was looking at her.
Finally, finding her manners, she greeted Holly. "Nice to meet you, too." Her handshake was firm, and her smile gorgeous. She was beautiful. Jake was a fucking idiot. No, he was a bastard.
As the night flew by, Holly wished with all her heart that what she'd thought about Kate would turn out to be true, but she hadn't even been close. The woman was smart and funny.
Even though she called her Haley and not Holly, she enjoyed Kate's stories and jokes that she even wished she had taken the position at P&E just to work with her. She was really kind, too, and paid for all their drinks.
She laughed at Kate's remark when one of the guys at a close table tried to flirt with her.
Yeah, he wasn't going to get through to her. She was with the sexiest man alive.
"Oh, hi," a familiar voice said behind Holly, and she froze.
"Hey, I thought you couldn't make it." Moira got up and gave Amelia, Holly was 99% sure it, a hug.
Her heart bounced fast as she tried to find an escape route to get out of this pub, but there wasn't one. The door was behind her, and Amelia would see her no matter what path she'd pick. She picked up her phone next to her and punched in the keys, booking an Uber as the anger of what she did five years ago, choose her brother's corner filled her heart again, as Amelia greeted Kate.
"I need you to meet one of the most gifted interns Downsend ever had."
"Oh, please, she can't be…"
"Holly, Amelia, Amelia, Holly," Moira continued.
Holly turned around and looked at Amelia, she just finished placing her need for the Uber.
The pure shock was written over Amelia's face.
Moira smiled. "You know each other."
"What are you doing here?!" Amelia said through clenched teeth. Pure hostility showed from her. "Where the hell were you?"
"Don't you fucking start, Melia." Holly interrupted her. "Sorry, Moira, I got to go."
"No, you are not leaving," Amelia yelled behind her as Holly made her way out of the pub with her bag in her hand. She needed to get out before she was going to strangle Amelia.
She pushed through the doors, and Amelia followed her outside to the parking area.
"Does Jake know you are…." she chuckled. "I'm so fucking stupid. Of course, he knows. That lying son of a bastard. Why, why did you come back? And what did Moira mean you are an intern. Please don't tell me you became a doctor?“
Where the hell was her Uber?
"Yes, I became a doctor, Amelia. To help mothers never go through what I had. You fucking betrayed me the worst, left me to die."
Amelia gasped and chuckled. "Left you to die, that is rich."
Holly shook her head as a tear spill over her cheek. "You want to know why you have no kids?"
"Oh, spare me. I don't care what you say."
"It's because you don't mean one of those steps, Amelia, not even one. You have no heart. But I guess what you believe is what you believe."
Amelia squinted.
"What did you tell your mother when you made that choice? Oh yeah, blood is thicker than water. To think I fucking named her after you and Robin."
Both Kate and Moira finally exited the pub as her Uber stopped.
"Holly," Moira yelled, but she ignored her.
Holly ran over to the car, opened and shut the door, leaving Amelia, Moira, and Kate lingering close to the door. She didn't look back.
That family was horrid. Why did she even think that she would have a future again with Jake? She was so fucking stupid.
