Damon was always my protector. Ever since I mustered up the courage to speak to him at lunch he was always my protector and took pride in making sure that I was always safe.
I know I shouldn't care if that's what he wants to do but I want something more for him. I want him to have purpose in his life and not the opportunities he could have taken.
I have stopped asking him now though. Tired of sounding like a broken record.
Tonight however, Damon was inviting us all round for a meal later tonight at his favourite restaurant. He didn't want to tell me why even with the amount of times I asked him.
He is very charming which makes it hard to stay mad at him. Only my step sister knows about my secret longing for Damon.
It would be stupid of me to not want Damon like that. He’s handsome with his short black hair, large build and sexy as sin smile. I also love the way he cares for those around him.
My interest with him started at a party once. I had turned 18 a few days before and We were both drunk actually a lot of us were.
Me and a few of the guys were camped out on the stairs bored of the game that everyone was playing in the lounge. I was left alone with Damon when the guys heard some more girls were on their way.
I was just playing with the scar on his arm when Damon lifted me up and placed me on his lap, the next thing I know he'd smashed his lips against mine.
Like every first kiss it was awkward at first but his lips were just coaxing me making it easy to follow.
The following morning when we had McDonald's for breakfast I found out that he didn't remember a thing from that night. It hurt me knowing that I was the only one that knew but maybe it was better that it remained a secret.
I decided to never bring it up and just have it as my own little secret. But I'm glad he was my first.
I took my sweet time getting ready for tonight. I don't know why but I felt like something big was going to happen and with Damon anything was possible.
But what worried me was that he had been acting distant lately. Going to the gym more than normal and having these meet ups where he would have to travel an hour away. I didn't understand it but I also knew if he couldn't straight up tell me then I wouldn't be successful in getting an answer from him.
We were meeting him there and I assumed most of the guys would be meeting us there too. I was so nervous walking inside but Lily had a tight hold on my hand. I breathed a sigh of relief, I could always rely on my sister.
Pretty much everyone was seated already so I had to get sat down quickly. Damon had already pulled out a seat for me that was right next to him. I smiled at him and took my place next to him.
His scent calmed down my nerves. We ordered our food and made a start on our meals. The casual conversation around the table was nice and relaxing. Damon had his seat close to mine and we were shoulder to shoulder.
"is that my jacket?" he leant in to whisper in my ear. I angled my head sending him a small smirk.
"you can have it back tonight Damon" I said to him, grabbing my glass of coke and slowly drinking from it. I felt him take a drink of his own. "no, keep it" I was about to object but he sent me the look of don't argue.
I know that look all too well over the years I've known him.
"you're going to need it" I heard him mutter as he turned his head to converse with one of the guys. Those words scared me, why would I need his coat I have plenty a home just like this one. Maybe not as big and warm but very similar.
"you okay" Adam, Lily's boyfriend whispered placing his hand on my arm. I nod quickly. I hadn't even noticed that he was just staring at Damon as he spoke.
"yeah, just thinking" I answer honestly.
"you're probably dying to know why we're having such a formal dinner and why he wanted everyone to be here" he says. I feel like he knows something I don't.
"do you know?" I asked him but he shook his head indicating no, but I feel as though he is lying.
As an hour passed Damon suddenly got all our attention. He had everyone watching and listening to him with such ease it was admirable.
He sat up straight and placed his hand on my leg. It was firm but it was like he needed me for courage. My heart was racing I had no idea what Damon was thinking at this minute.
"thank you for coming tonight. As well as inviting you all to have a meal like we used to I also have something I want to tell all of you" I watch his mom bite her lips slightly. Avoiding contact with anyone.
I stare at her wondering what does she know.
"right well I guess this is the time to say it. I've been thinking a lot lately" he starts off by saying.
"and the main thing I've had on my mind was my future. I'm 21 now and I have no future planned at all and I know that worried a lot of you but it never really seemed important at the time" I could sense some shakiness to his voice.
I wrapped my fingers around his arm. He took a deep breath as soon as I did.
"basically, what I'm trying to say is that I need to figure my life out before I start to pursue what I really want. Dad left saying how I would be the man of the family, I needed to take care of everyone but right now I'm failing.
I've considered everything and, in a week, I will be joining the army. Not only will I be fighting for my country but it will give me time to really think and focus on my strengths and weaknesses" the guys were shocked for about two seconds before they stood up and started to congratulate him.
He removed his hand from my leg and thanked them. I was in total shock, I never thought I would hear those words come out of that mouth of his. He never said anything about wanting to join the army.how did I not know that he wanted to do this.
Is that where he was disappearing to, was he training?
As soon as I heard the faint cry of his mother I flew out of my seat feeling my own tears coming . Without sparing a glance at anyone I raced out of the restaurant desperate to get out of there. Away from the curious eyes of our families and away from his.
I quickly ran inside our range rover and sat in the back. I let the tears fall from my eyes.
The sound of the door opening made me freeze. I could sense it was him I didn't even have to check.
"Baby girl I'm sorry" he whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly. I attempted to struggle but he only tightened his hold. I finally let all the tears fall as I felt his strong arms around me.
He lifted me up placing me in his lap. His hands came up and wiped away my tears. But I had given up I let them continue to fall.
" I hate to see you cry " he mumbled sadly. I couldn't help it though.
" I have to go, I need to figure my life out. I know you hate how I'm pissing about but I want to make you proud of me baby" I sniffle.
" what if you don't come back" I mutter playing with his long fingers.
His breathing falters slightly. " I will baby girl I'll always come back whatever it takes" he says seriously.
Feeling like I have no other choice I nod my head sinking my body into his embrace.
That’s not something that he could promise me.
Damon led me out and into his own car. I texted my parents saying I'd go home with Damon which they understood.
I felt at ease in the arms of Damon. We were both playing a game on his xbox as we spend these special moments together.
"Stay with me tonight baby, we can get breakfast tomorrow morning at that place you love" he said pressing his lips against my head
He had no idea what his kisses do to me.
" okay Damon " I reply back, my heart slowly breaking with every word that leaves his lips.
The following morning when I rolled over. I expected to see Damon in his large form sleeping silently next to me. But instead I was met with a bouquet of red roses in his place.
I smiled from ear to ear smelling the beautiful scent until I saw a small piece of paper sticking out from the flowers. With a horrible gut feeling I scanned the paper reading the words written in his handwriting.
I nearly choked when I read it. Tears were falling down my cheeks and my vision instantly became blurry.
He lied to me
He left without having the balls to say goodbye like a proper man. I deserved the chance to say goodbye didn’t i.
How could he do this to me, did he do the same to his mum. I was just his friend, surely he wouldn’t have done that to her.
I realised that I was still in his house. So I quickly made my way down the staircase and into the kitchen looking for her.
When I saw the beautiful woman at her table holding a piece of paper with tears in her eyes. I realised how much of a baby I've been. This woman has just been left alone after losing her husband and now her son.
"Natalie " I ran towards her wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace.
"He's gone " she whispers her tiny sobs the only sound filling my ears as I embraced her.
