He banged my head against the wall, watching me with his big sinister eyes; piercing through my grey ones with such intensity, you could hear his quick breaths in the cold alleyway.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing, little girl?" He spat on my face, making my battered face with blood cringe at the foul smoke smell.
"Please, Just let me go, please!"
I woke up with a gasp and my shivering hands clutching my bed sheets, these nightmares are going to be the death of me; they are beginning to get more vivid each passing day, maybe I should take my mother's advice to go see a therapist but I laughed at the funny thought.
Therapists were just sick-minded people in disguise. They just pretended to be understanding while finding any opportunities to get closer to you sexually, like my old therapist did. They were never good, to begin with.
I was more of the sad poetic dark type of girl; always sarcastic and not too fond of people after my huge heartbreak act that happened years ago. I'd like you to think myself as a lonely person. I have trust issues and a sinister mind. I couldn't help but overthink which turns me sometimes into a bitch. Well, all the time.
I groaned at an aftermath headache and rush to the bathroom to do my daily after-nightmare routine, it would usually consist of: having the dream, bursting in the bathroom and throwing up then repeat after each night. This wouldn't stop, I really needed serious help.
"Ah!" I screamed at the ringing sound. it's just the telephone Sacra, you're a stupid girl. I scolded myself as I went to the living room to grab the thing that made me jump out of my skin earlier, I should really change the shrill sound of it. I mentally noted that to myself.
"Hello?" I answered, wiping the excess cold sweat off my forehead with the other hand.
"This is the hotline bling service-" I hung up and huffed at these stupid horny teenagers' pranks, no longer caring about their consistent lame ass jokes. How the hell did they even get my number was beyond me.
"Sacra, I need to talk to you now!" Starlet screamed, I slapped my forehead in frustration.
Starlet was the all-time brat sister God cursed me with, that was even a small judgment compared to her bulging boobs and snotty attitude. What was she even doing at my house?
Oh right, she wants to know who slept with her gay ass boyfriend again.
Shit, her new husband not boyfriend.
Who was my boyfriend. Talk about awkward.
"It's you again, right? How could you!" She shoved me. she was strong considering she was younger than me by two years.
"What the hell is wrong with you making those assumptions? Are you aging really quickly and started hallucinating already?" I sneered at her, honestly, it was sick that my sister would even think I did it with her husband, I was not a bitch who stole married men; except once with a bartender.
That turned out gay at the end.
"Stop being sarcastic, I am serious here." she screeched like a leech this time and I covered my ears at her usual drama. I ignored her rants and turned around to go to my backyard.
Everybody told her that her husband had a hard time committing to her ass; she made up some lame excuse that she loved him and all that sappy shit.
I walked out to my front yard and smoked, feeling so relieved from starlet's drama. She was being irrational after all with her drama shit she chose to bring along with.
I walked back to see that Starlet got the memo that I was ignoring her and she was gone. I went back to my room and sat down in front of the small mirror.
I braided my brown-colored hair and stare at my shitty reflection, unlike other girls, I had two little flabs when I sit down, a slight possibility of a double chin when I look down and a weird shaped pointy nose, not to mention the very dark eye bags I have. My eyes were the attractive thing about me; they were the cold kind of blue just like the ocean on a wintery day.
I just dealt with it normally, I never believed in letting my self-esteem drop, I'd just make it better and stay positive because it won't matter if I stay brooding and unhappy while others lived on without caring.
The doorbell rang again.
And it isn't who I expected.
It is Finley fucking Davidson, I was not happy, what's with all family reunion happening at my house? It was like God is punishing me for stealing my coworker's ice cream tubs that she hides at work under her playboy magazines, no wonder she doesn't do her work at times.
"What?" I snapped. he just smirked his very deceiving smirk, he was a very stunning man that every cliché story mentions, he got a sharp jaw and glinting navy eyes that can make any pants drop lace ones too.
He invited himself in, ignoring the fact that I just stared coldly at him. I hated my sister for making such a choice with Finley, he was too good for her at first but then it seemed like she changed him after their marriage.
That was too odd to find him like that.
"Is that a way to welcome your guests, mi amour?" I rolled my eyes at him and his accent, totally avoiding the tingles along my spine like cold water.
"The only way you get to talk Italian with me is when you get me pizza." I sassed at him and he chuckled like the perfect little male baby-doll.
"So, did your sister actually come by here again and accused you of having sex with me?" That is the first time he made me laugh and made me roll on my couch like a dehydrated whale.
"You sure know how she is, and yes she did have one of her dramatic seizures but less this time." I indicated a small gap between my fingers, making him laugh again.
He was quite nice but when it was always me getting blamed for his one night stands when he has a wife made me feel sick and hate him.
Gosh Sacra, get in bed for him next.
I internally cringed at my almost compliment him in my head. I sure had a crazy imagination.
We stood awkwardly in my living room, I played with my hair and he looked at my decorative lilac wallpaper.
"So, what did you actually want?" I inquired and he just stared intensely at me.
"You." I choked on my spit when he answered me, I was not expecting that.
He stepped closer and whispered in my ear.
"You think you are an angel, baby?" He bit my earlobe and I slapped him, backing away from my harsh movement, damn his jaw cut my hand from how sharpened it was.
"Get the fuck out, vile bastard." I shouted at him and he got so angry to the point where he grabbed my wrist, twisting it making it crack, I scream in pain while he shouts "fuck!" And stormed away.
I should have never let that disgusting bitch in, he didn't even help me that amoeba.
I sighed and went to the first aid kit in my bedroom, almost feeling like I wanted to cry when he said that he wanted me, remembering the agonizing memory.
I stepped into the room, watching as my mother and father cried hysterically and Finley stood in front of them.
I rushed into Finley's arms considering he was my boyfriend, the only light in my life. My mother glared harshly at me because neither her nor my father ever loved me because I purposely almost killed my own cousin.
Finley was my dream boy, he had everything to fix me, he gave me hopes and dreams I held on to, but those arms that held me stayed away, I frowned confusingly.
We were only dating for a week but I had a crush on him the moment he entered my class.
"What's happening?" I asked softly, all hell went loose.
That God damn ring on his finger shattered my heart, made me so weak that I couldn't stand, I broke so hard that I felt the walls cried with me. This wasn't meant to be for us.
The pain was getting stronger in my veins, making me physically weak as my sister appeared with my ring, it was supposed to be mine, we were supposed to have a future together, just me and Finley.
The betrayal strung deep like a bad note on a guitar, I was no longer weeping anymore, I turn bad for all of them and set the house on fire, they managed to get lucky.
They escaped and I was sent to rehab for what they did.
They thought I was fine again until I joined a gang, whom their leader pushed me in the alleyway, I wanted to hurt so bad so I could remember I was alive, I craved to be felt and feeling again.
Then I finally escaped it all and started a new life until my sick sister and her bastard husband came again.
I snapped back to reality when I finished wrapping the bandage around my fragile wrist.
It was only three in the afternoon so I decided to call my best friend who stayed beside me during the breakdowns about that unfaithful asshole. He used to be my asshole. I shook the thought away and inhaled deeply.
"Hey, are you feeling okay?" She hugged me when we finally agreed on a place.
She was the opposite of me but I liked it, made me love the things I hated. I hugged back, smelling the cherry lotion on her shoulders. Jade was a free spirit; she always laughed, optimistic and happy, that's probably why all Easton high craved her love. She was fresh air and I was dust.
"Yes, I actually had another round of drama in the crazy Fawn's family." I huffed annoyingly and Jade laughed at me over exaggeration.
"Just stop the grudge, Sacralyn, let them go and find a new sexy guy to tie the knot, you are still twenty-four years old, not thirty." I chuckled at her reminding me, she was always so wise.
I wished I could do that, I was still clinging after all these years
