"No Benny, you lost that right!" I heard my mother backed at the person on the other side of the line and I knew it had started again, a conversation that always repeats itself.
"You can't deny me from seeing my son!" A cold voice came from the other side of the line, agitated and dry.
I stopped behind the pillar in the living room, eavesdropping on their conversation, the call was on speaker and I could hear the words that came from the other side of the line. It was wrong to eavesdrop, but what else could I do when the conversation was about me.
"If you want to see him then come over." My mother said softly and I knew that what had ruined her was the love she had for that man, this wasn't something a kid of seven years should know but this was something I figured out.
Love makes people weak, it made my mother weak and destroyed her, this was the reason I made up my mind never to fall in love or love someone dearly.
"We have discussed this in court, Jane, so I am going to tell him." He said coldly and his voice held no emotions for this lady, it only felt void and cold, a man my mother has loved and only kept in her heart.
It was amusing to watch when it should be annoying. I looked at my mother who leaned close to the window with her hands on her forehead and tears filled her eyes.
"Aren't you happy with your new wife and kids over there?" She asked as tears rolled down her cheeks. "How would you want to take away the only joy I have left?"
I scoffed at where I stood and clenched my fist. If she loved me she should have listened to me, then there would have been no court hearing and no separation, but she had made love to destroy her this way.
I look at my mother who was a pretty lady, but ever since my father left her she had turned into something else, someone I can barely recognise.
"Robin deserves better." The man said indifferently and I watched my mother's pupils enlarge and I wasn't expecting to see her this shock since this should be a familiar term she had heard always.
"I can not let you take him!" She barked again in anger and tears filled her eyes. This was the only way she could let out her anger, she always ends up crying when she is angry and to me, it makes her weak.
"Do you want another court hearing?" He asked her. "This time you won't see him ever again!" He said coldly and those words seemed to make the air in the room cold and I looked at my mother who has the same fear in her eyes like mine.
Deep inside of me, I hoped she would just accept his terms and let me go with him. I hope she wouldn't let this escalate since she was too weak to face the aftermath.
"I won't let you do that, can't let you!" She shouted and spaced around the room and I could see her hands tremble and her eyes flutter and her lips quiver and her eyes fixed on my picture that hung on the wall.
She looks so pitiful. If only she had loved someone better, she wouldn't be in a situation like this. I leaned back to the pillar and closed my eyes.
"If you want to see Robin again then send him to me, he would further his education here in the states and be a responsible person." The man said icily and by the sound of his voice, I could already tell that he felt victorious.
My mother leaned on the wall and crumbled down as hot tears flowed down her cheek and she clenched the hem of her dress and I could see how hurt she felt as she opened her lips to speak.
"He can do it here." Her voice came out hoarse and she broke down in a sob.
"I am done speaking with you Jane, make your decision and make it wisely." With that, he disconnected the call and I peek out of the pillar just in time to see my mother throw down her phone and it shattered.
"I won't let you take him, never!" She reached her hand to the table and picked up the bottle of Whiskey and she took a gulp of it, drowning down the whole content one after the other like an addict.
I closed my eyes, if only she could stop this habit, if she hadn't lived this way then I would still be with her and there would have never been any court hearing at first. Her love for my father was her poison, it was draining her and it could also drain me.
"I think I am just a game they both use for fun." I mattered to myself and walked back to my room, shutting the door behind me.
This was it, this was all I have always witnessed, this was the only thing I heard my parents talk about, always about me, always making fights that make one disconnect and the other one cry.
I looked out of my window, even as a kid, I have to leave this way, watch my mother cry and hate my father for divorcing her and making her cry this way and now he has to take me away from her.
I hit the window with my fist and my cheek feel hot with anger. I have to choose wisely for my mother.
