PROLOGUE
The Year 1784
On the 5th day of May year 1784, spring had begun. I remember so well how he loved spring very much because of his fond for growing plants and watching colorful flowers blossom. I remember his beautiful and very rarely shown smile when he would see some plants blossoming again and that sight of him makes me happy.
He loved spring because of the flowers and trees in his garden and I love spring because it’s the season I realized that I was in love with him.
This year is going to be a sad one and I don’t want to say goodbye but it feels like I have to not because I want to but...
On the 28th of February of the same year, the war, which was filled with so much death and blood, finally ended. A lot of people didn’t make it and a lot of people were heavily injured. The King was killed and Ambrose is the one next in line to the throne, but he doesn’t want to if he didn’t have me.
On the 5th day of December year 1783, our last winter together, we vowed to each other that we will forever be together and that we would look for each other even in another life.
I held on to it as much as he did.
On that same day of 1783, we secretly got married in a rush at night in front of the priest and our friend who witnessed our small wedding ceremony. Behind everyone else in the kingdom, we were married and he became my official husband. We became inseparable.
Despite what the people in the kingdom might say about the relationship we have together, our love for each other prevailed and without caring about any judgments.
On the 6th day of December year 1783, we watched our first snow together as a married couple which eventually became our last snow-watching together.
Today is May 6, 1784 and it feels like a good day to rest.
I have been bedridden for five days since the war but my condition is getting worst and worst no matter how many healers have come and visited. No matter how many healers that he hired, they were not able to cure me.
I could no longer feel my entire body moving, every nook and cranny feels completely numb, not even a lift of a finger can be moved, and I can’t even feel my toes and my entire lower leg. The only thing that I feel inside my veins and skin is so much pain in all limbs. There is this continuous excruciating pain from the top of my head down to my toes and it feels as if it is eating and killing me from the inside.
There were nights that I would cry because of the pain and it worries him so much that it pains me even more to see him like this. It pains me to see him suffering too.
My eyesight is blurry, my body feels remarkably weak and my joints seem swollen which makes me immobile. I can no longer breathe properly as I feel something so heavy on my chest that presses me down. Every time I move, it inflicts me pain.
“My love…” He speaks to me as he holds my weak and skinny hand while he kisses our wedding ring. “I am sorry.” He cries against my knuckles and I know how he feels so burdened about what has happened to me.
“What are you sorry for when you don’t have any fault?” I questioned him as my voice is faint and shaky. “You were the best husband I could ask for.”
“I wasn’t able to protect you from my father. I am sorry for not being there for you. I should have protected you during that war.” He cries as his grip on my hand tightens and I feel that he has been blaming himself for what has happened to me.
“I never blamed you for this, my sweetheart.”
I feel his hand shaking as he continues to cry more, “Please don’t leave me Ivor. You are all I have and I am nothing without you.”
“I don’t think I can keep our vow when we promised in front of the altar the words till death do us part.” I speak in a weak and breathy voice.
“Please don’t say that.” He holds my hand with both hands and pressed it against his lips as he continues to cry louder which continues to break my heart. “You are scaring me so please don’t say that. Don’t leave me, I am begging you. Don’t, Please.”
I chuckle lightly as I squeeze his hand, “I love you now. I love you always. I love you in this lifetime and other more.”
“Please don’t say it like you’re saying goodbye.” He cries as his hand tightens on mine.
“I’m sorry if I wont last long.”
“No, please no. Not like that. Don’t say it. I’m not ready!”
I listen to him cry as I feel his hands shaking while I try to give him a little massage and it pains me seeing him hurt all because of me knowing how he sacrificed so much for me.
“Remember our promise?” I ask him as I cup his cheek and wipe his tears off his face. I feel him nodding softly as I continued, “When you and I first got together, I promised you that I will always protect you, Your Highness, as your first commander.”
I feel him kissing my palm and the tips of my fingers repetitively, “Yes yes I do. And I told you not to call me that.”
I chuckle softly and weakly, “You always hate it when I call you that.”
He placed my palm against his cheek and nods. “And I promised you that I will always look for you, no matter where you are and where you go, I will find you.”
A smile creeps on my face. “You have sacrificed so much for me and I don’t know what I did for you.”
“You sacrificed just as much Ivor, what are you saying?” He sounds frantic and I hate when he sounds like that. “I will always choose you and chase you.” He tells me the words I always love to hear.
My weak smile widens a little and it makes my weak heart happy.
“I love you…my Ambrose.”
