"Zyrah,prepare some snacks, your friends are here." I heard my older sister shouted so I quickly got out of bed and went down to the living room.
Even though my mind was confused and I didn't feel good, I still tried to see them,even for the last time
"Oh I miss you girl" Arnica and Keisha said.They immediately wrapped their arms around my body.
We went to the living room and I sat them down first while I prepared our snacks.
I get bread and chips in our fridge as well as the cold water including a sachet of orange juice
Tss. Orange juice, I don't know if I'll laugh or be annoyed by the memories surrounding this drink. We stopped fighting.
But I can only be sure of one thing now, those memories that I still have with him will never be repeated.
As I was walking down to the kitchen, a question came to my mind.
Where is he now?
Since that incident happened, I haven't seen him yet, he hasn't come here to the house either. Maybe he did the right thing to stop my fantasizing.
I was surprised when a broken glass suddenly fell from my hand and the glass spread on our floor. I picked them up one by one, even though I knew I would be hurt, I continued.
"We'll take care of that" Keisha said as she tried to lift me from the floor
"No, I'm here. Come back there" I insisted.
The crystal glasses around me now are like my heart. My heart was shattered when he said those painful words.Broke, hurt and crushed. No words can describe what I feel right now. I'm in a mess, my heart is broken and I can't I know how to rebuild it if the one who molded it gave me hatred and resentment
I picked up the crystals on the floor,in case I could restore it to its previous form,unlike my heart which was completely destroyed and could not be rebuilt.Suddenly a crystal hit my hand causing blood to flow like my feelings.
Uncontrollable.
I also felt liquids flowing from my eyes and constantly sliding down my face. I am not crying because of the wound in my hand.I'm crying because of the wound he made in my heart.I miss him so much. My heart hurts more than my wounded hand.Even though he hurt me, he was still the one my heart cried out for
" Zyrah, everything will be fine too" Keisha said while touching a handkerchief to my face
"He will also regret why he did that to you" Arnica added while holding my palm
"H-Huh? W-What are you saying there?I-I'm okay" I said and forced to show a smile to the two of them
"Don't pretend anymore, we know you're not fine at all" Arnica said seriously while staring at me
"I'm sorry,I just don't want you to worry" I replied shyly. They worry too much, I don't want to add more
"Of course we'll worry about you, you're our best friend"she commented to me
Suddenly,the cellphone that landed on the table rang.
"Ah wait girls,I'll just answer this"Keisha said as she picked up her phone and walked out of our house
"We really shouldn't have supported you and pushed him. I hope you're not like that now" Arnica said sadly
"It's not your fault. I choose to fall for him yet my choice is the reason why I am suffering right now"
"No, it's his duty to caught you whenever you're falling cause he let you love him in a long period of time but he wasted it.He's so stupid"she said irritably to me
"No, his obligation is to love the person he wants and not to share other people's feelings for him. Besides, it's my fault, I have to face the consequences of my choice" I told her sadly.
This is my problem, I chose to fall for him even though I was not sure he would catch me
"Don't worry Zyrah,we're always here to help and make you happy.Unlike him, we won't never leave you" Arnica replied to me I just smiled at her even though it was mixed with resentment.
Keisha came in immediately, also confused by the incident. She confronted Arnica and me. There was a streak of sadness in her eyes so I was nervous about what she would say
"Arnica I have bad news for you"she began
"What's that Keisha?" Arnica said unconsciously
"Your dad is gone" Keisha added.
My lips parted when I heard the words Keisha said.Uncle Nile is gone, my friend's father is gone.
Arnica stood up and seemed very angry with Keisha
"Don't joke like that! You know Zyrah is going through something and then you're going to fool around!" She shouted at Keisha.
"I swear I'm not lying Arnica.Your mom called me earlier. She chose to tell me first so that you wouldn't be too surprised and hurt. She's sending you home so you can see what happened to your dad" Keisha replied in a serious tone
Arnica sighed and cried for a long time. So many tears dripped from her eyes. We went to her and immediately hugged her. There is nothing more painful than losing a father, I feel so sorry for her now. Am I to blame for destiny? Why even my friends feel sorry for my misfortune
"And Zyrah, maybe we won't be sympathize you right now. Besides you and Arnica, I also have a problem. My sister texted me that grandma was in the hospital and dying. She said she wanted to see me first before she die"Keisha sobbed
"Sorry Zyrah but we have to go. Is it okay with you?" Arnica said to me
"Yeah sure no problem I'll just visit you two later" I said
"Oh your such a thoughtful friend" Keisha replied softly
"Sorry for your loss, condolence Arnica"
"Thank you Zyrah, we're really leaving"
"Yeah take care I love you both"
"We love you too"
And they have completely disappeared from my sight
I went to the kitchen and found my waking brother who was obviously awake from his gimmick last night
"Hey,what's going on here huh?"my elder sister,Callie said as we unloaded our dish
"No, it's just Zyrah who tends to tease me" my younger brother said angrily
"Please be patient with Zyrah, you know she's going through something, don't you?" My older sister said calmly.
Kyle's fist clenched and his anger seemed to get worse than before
"Not only will that stupid man not really come back here but I will really attack him"
"Kyle stop right there" when I weaned him but he still didn't stop talking badly about the man who cracked my heart
"That naughty man just hit you. He should at least taste my fist so that he is aware of what he is doing to you!" He said as he stood up from his seat
"Stop it" I scolded him but still not in listening to me
"I didn't really like him but you insisted" his sharp eyes went straight to me
"KYLE STOP THAT!" I couldn't help myself and shouted at him
"BUT—"
"It wasn't his fault, okay? I'm the one who made a fool of myself so I just deserve this"
Even though I'm angry with the person he's referring to I still can't blame him for what happened
"Don't fight at the dinner table! Is that what Mom and Dad taught you?!You can eat and we'll go to Arnica to sympathize with them"Calli said
While my siblings are very fond of what they eat, I am here suffering from sadness because of him
"Don't waste God's grace Zyrah. It's bad to wait for food so eat there" Ate Calli scolded me
'He just wasted my love, he waited for me for a very long time but he still did not eat the love I prepared for him"I whispered
"ZYRAH !?" I just heard my sister shout, returning to my trance. I think my thoughts deepened as much as I love him
"H-Huh? W-what's that sister?" I stammered to her
"You've been an idiot with your food for a while"she preached with a tinge of concern
"A-Ahh I'm just thinking" I said while smiling hard at them. I don’t want him to worry as well as Kyle
"But why are you crying?" she asked looking surprised as she stared at me earnestly. I also looked at Kyle who was by his side, wearing the reaction as Calli, he was also worried about me.
I know I'm not okay but I will never cry in front of them I will just look weak. I was just thinking before and I am not crying. All my tears are gone for him maybe there is nothing left
"I'm not—" I touched my face and I felt the water in my eyes. I gently touched my hand that was trembling with nervousness. I barely looked at the tear drop in my hand now.
I thought it was gone, I thought I wouldn't cry anymore, I thought I forgot about him but here I am now. I cried again, and he is still the cause of the grains of tears constantly streaming down my face
The wind blew softly, I felt the warmth of the surroundings. Suddenly,my vision blurred as if everything around me was spinning. I felt hot weather, drops of sweat and tears continued to come out and flow. I just feel like I'm trying to stop the flow of tears from them.
At the same time as I folded my eyes, I slowly remembered about us.
With the love that I should have in the first place, I have stopped
In love that is out of date and needs to end
In love that is almost successful and yet hospitable
