The whole area is sad. I could feel the tears dripping from my eyes. I knew it would happen.
I know that this day will also come that he will release me, he will say goodbye, he will turn around and walk away from where I stand.
"Won't you give me another chance, Ramier?" I asked him.
I stared at his face as he stared at my eyes.
I could feel the tears streaming down I couldn't hold back.
The atmosphere blew a cold wind so I hugged myself.
I was still staring at his face as I waited for his answer to my question.
"Ramier, don't you love me anymore?"
I could not restrain my hands which he spontaneously grasped in his arms.
"Ramier, have pity on me. Answer me, Ramier."
"What do you want me to say?" He asked coldly.
Now he is looking at me. Those stares that were once aggressive are now cold. Those stares that I knew were always anxious to see me suddenly changed. Ramier doesn't have the same eyes for me anymore. He totally changed.
"The truth ... I want to know the truth, even if it hurts."
Ramier took a deep breath after turning his back on me. He laid his hand on the low wall on the rooftop and threw his gaze below.
I stood next to him but we were half a meter away from each other and I also put my hands on the wall with my waist barely leveling.
The dazzling light from the poles and buildings was like stars on the earth. The colors of the lights I see are varied. similar to how I feel now. I don't know what. What I feel now is a mixture of sadness, pain and fear.
"I love you, Therese. God in heaven knows how much I love you. I offer myself wholeheartedly to you."
"Why are you breaking up with me now?"
"When I wake up one morning I don't love you anymore. I can't imagine myself building memories the next day with you, Therese. I'm sorry but I don't want to fool you. I don't want to stay in a relationship without love in it. Let's say that our ten years of being together is just a story to tell. "
The whole area was quiet. I also quietly wept as I listened to what Ramier had to say.
It hurts to hear what he said but I could do nothing. Even if I still want to save our relationship if he really doesn't want to, I can't do anything.
I think the wind has blown away my dreams.
"Am I boring? Won't you miss a Therese who loves you so much?"
He turned to me so I changed the direction of my gaze. I secretly wiped my eyes.
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Can't I really stop you? Don't you really want to? Don't you regret it?"
"Like I said, Therese. I fall out of love...I don't want to save the relationship if it's just one-sided. I know that you are the only one who will suffer. I don't want to be selfish either. "
He took his hands out of the wall and turned his back on me. He had already started to step away from me.
"One ... two ... three ..." I counted like I used to do every time he left.
I still hope that when it reaches five he will face me and hug me.
Ten years, ten years Ramier and I have been together. I never felt like I was bored. instead, as the days went by I loved him more, came first and cared more.
I forgot my passions for him, including singing.
"Even if you count to a thousand I won't come back to you. I'm sorry. Goodbye!"
I covered my mouth to stop making sounds of grief.
I admit that I was expected to get divorced in a relationship but we have been together for ten years.
I thought, we're up to the end. I thought, we will be together to build a happy family like we dreamed before. He even once said, he wanted a basketball team.
This is probably the end of my story with Ramier.
Maybe he was right that if I forced him to stay I would be hurt more.
I promised, I will not gonna love with no security. It's fearful to trust. I will give my heart its rest because I am a forlorn verse now.
