I
Running my hand through my hair, my eyes closed on their own accord as I imagined it was her small hands that ran through my hair instead, yanking it backward at just the angle that allowed for her lips to touch my bare neck. I could almost feel it like I did that night, it was right there but so far away. I sighed in frustration because even if it felt good, in reality, that might be my fantasy forever, my eyes peeled open. I was in my backyard, warming up for my morning jog. I had not jogged in a while, even though I was always on the healthy side. Unfortunately this jog wasn't anything related to my health. Scratch that, it is related to my mental health.
I was beginning to lose my mind thinking about her, the her that has been haunting my dreams. The her that I couldn't find since that night. She was everywhere now, sometimes I know I get a whiff of her, unfortunately, that might still be my fantasy.
Huffing I do a little jump, trying to get blood flowing to other parts of my body, I didn't need a third leg for anything right now. Even the thought of her made me too excited. Which is why I needed this jog.
Stretching my arms above my head, I sighted my gardener in the shed. It was still too dark to see his face, so I was convinced that he didn't see me either.
In a swift movement, I started on the familiar route. I got this whole estate because I wanted to live away from people. So I didn't have any neighbors, even at that, I stuck to the road most hidden from sight, it was sandwiched between my garage and a building I haven't thought to use.
As I jogged, my head became clearer, something I liked about jogging. I remembered I had to visit mom or else she would come down here herself, and I hated when she did, it brought a lot of unwanted attention. She was very extravagant, being the wife of the former coach of the biggest basketball team; The Wild Dogs, the media still followed her, and she basked in it's glory. If I was her birth son, and was not adopted, I'm sure I would have loved the spotlight too, unfortunately mom and I are too very different people.
Which makes me believe miracles do happen. I was way past the age many people would have preferred for adoption.
On a dull day, it was snowing, two big cars rolled in, then I didn't know much about cars, I only knew they were big, and shiny. I watched the only familiar boy climb out of the white one, with his hand in his father's, the man and woman from the other car climbed out of the black one, they stared at the building silently, and walked inside. That was all I could see from the window of the top building.
But the next thing I knew, I was getting an adoption. All thanks to the boy I met at the park. Cameron. He smiled at me with so much happiness, showing his front tooth that was knocked out from a fight he fought to protect me, and I was scared it wasn't going to grow back out.
"I'm sorry I couldn't make you my brother, I tried my best. But mommy said she wanted just one son. So I asked Mr Russell to adopt you instead. Don't worry, Mr Russell is really nice, his wife is nice too and she makes the best cookies." His voice was chirpy as he explained to me why he couldn't keep his promise of being my new brother.
Then I didn't know how to feel, in the orphanage home for boys, I didn't have to interact with anyone. I only ate, played the piano, went to the park with the group of kids, because I had to. I knew the routine there, but being adopted? Having another set of parents? It was scary. Although I didn't tell this to Cameron, he was too excited, I couldn't ruin his mood.
"Hey sweetie, what is your name?" A woman with a beautiful set of teeth squatted beside Cameron as she asked me.
I didn't answer.
Cameron smiled,
"He's a very shy boy Aunty, his name is Kennedy, but I call him Kenny." His smile was so bright, it was contagious.
Mrs Russell smiled so wide,
"Well Kennedy, my name is Catherine, I'm your new mommy."
I looked at her face, she had beautiful, kind blue eyes, reminding me of someone with the same amount of kind in their eyes. So I wrapped my little arms around her neck. I felt her go limp in surprise, then she hugged me right back in a second.
We drove home silently, me in the back with Catherine and Cameron. He insisted on following me, while Samuel drove. I sat in the car, with thoughts racing through my mind. But I couldn't say one of those thoughts out loud.
The car rolled to a stop in front of a huge mansion. My eyes grew wide at the size of the house.
"Welcome to your new home Kennedy." Catherine whispered calmly.
"Oh, and before I forget, you have a big brother, Jonathan."
My head whipped to face Cameron, he couldn't have told me this before?
He chuckled nervously.
"Don't worry, Jonathan is a very good boy, you'll be fine." Was the first thing Samuel said to me.
And he was dead wrong.
I rounded up my jog, and started to head back home, my mind was in the right space now. As I jogged back, I waved to the gardener, simply because our eyes met. His widened in shock.
He had never seen me before, none of the workers have. I had mom hire them. I hated being seen by people, especially when they thought I was someone they had to please.
I didn't even do the public appearance mom and dad wanted me to do when they first got me. They wanted me to appear to the public as their son. I declined, so the public only knows one son, and that was perfect for me. I didn't even hold meetings with my staff. Only my personal assistant knew me in the entire building.
In the aspect of forgetting that her? The jog was as useless as the meditation I had done yesterday to forget her.
I got into the shower, flashes of her image played in my head. I groaned in frustration. I cursed at my memory, I remember how she felt against my palm, her reaction to every flick of my finger, her face, and how she smells. My memory had all of this, unfortunately, my memory couldn't help me find her, just like the night, she was gone. Clarissa Jones. That was the name she gave me.. there wasn't any Clarissa Jones left in the city that I haven't checked. Did mystery girl lie to me?
My phone rang, startling me, I checked the caller ID, it was Cam.
"What?" I was not ready for his hyper active nature today.
"Awweee, is that how you greet your bestest friend?"
I sighed,
"It's like 8am, I haven't had coffee, what do you want Cam?"
" And here I was thinking you missed me."
I rolled my eyes,
"I'm going to hang up. You're too cheerful for me."
"Okay fine, there's a problem at the office."
