"Ahh! William... I... bag ahh. Please spare me. Ahh Ahh..I...ahh promise... Ahh.. "
I was pleading for William to spare me, until I ran out of my breath since he was banging on me really hard! Wondering where on earth I went wrong!!!
"F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck...." he muttered out of breath. After a few minutes of a rough exercise, he finally stopped. The tide grip on my waist lossend as he bend over to place a light peck at the back of my shoulders, and for a second I was confused by this small act which I shook off because I know William is incapable of loving anybody but my best friend Rudy. I could tell he wasn't paying attention to what I have been saying.
Not a single day has passed by without me asking myself why Rudy would disappear without an explanation, a warning...let alone an apology.
And guess what? Everybody in my life thinks am behind her disappearance, my little sister Ida, my brother Joseph, Rudy's parents Mr and Mrs Snowy, my neighbors and the entire community blame me for her disappearance.
Maybe it is because we were inseparable back then and everybody thought I would at least know something, which I don't.
Anyway, William, Rudy's husband, pulled a light blanket to hide my body which was already curled in a tiny ball. He got dressed and left my apartment, I had my eyes closed the entire time. Although I was feeling sad, I could not cry since my tears have long since dried.
He comes to my rented apartment whenever he feels like it...to molest, insult and hurt me. Somehow this has become a normal life for me, because it has been going on for three years now.
I remember one time I tried to runaway, he caught me before I could even bored a plane. The punishment he gave me... Sigh!!! So escaping is not on my mind anymore, I think death is much better though I can't bring myself to actually do it.
Slowly opening my eyes, I remembered something I have been avoiding to think about for a week now, me being pregnant for the third time! Thoughts kept flooding my mind until I fell asleep.
I opened my eyes once again to be greeted by sunrise, dragged my tired body to the bathroom to take shower, brushed my hair and teeth, got dressed and headed to the hospital far from the city, hopping not to meet anybody I knew. "Thank goodness it's Friday today." I exclaimed, shrinking my neck to the cold air blowing on my bare skin. I got in to a taxi, "Am headed to Grace hospital." I said looking through the window, "Good morning to you too Miss." said the taxi driver looking at me through the rearview mirror. He had a bright smile plastered on his face, which got me thinking ' Do people have worries out here? '.He ignored my surprised expression, then drove in silence until I reached my destination and paid off. I ran in to the hospital trying to cover my face with my hair! I was so focused on the reflection on my phone screen I didn't even see who I just passed by. As soon as I reached my appointment department, Dr Earl was already waiting for me. Thinking that am late I checked my watch already apologizing for being so unprofessional. Dr Earl laughed, his eyes clued on me...he always looks at me that way and that bothers me a lot. " Good morning Rose... You're not late. You are actually right on time. " he pauses, his eyes still on my face, "Rossi, I... " he paused, I caught a climps of sadness which flashed on his face as he looked away from me. He headed to his desk and set down, " Take a sit Rossi. Would you like some drink? Maybe water? "
"No, am good thanks... Actually water will be fine. " I said as I set down facing him. He stood up to get a class of water "You coming here tells me you still want to carry on with the abortion?" he turned around to look at me.
I was so anxious that I kept twisting my cold fingers, my legs were shaky and freezing cold. The air conditioner in his office made matters worse because my back was stiff from cold and anxiety, I could feel goosebumps allover me, it felt like my first experience.
"Dr Earl I have already made up my mind... I don't care what the consequences are. " sigh!!! "Please don't try to convince me otherwise." I said with my voice losing it's strength, sounding like a whisper as I forced myself to finish what I was saying.
I took a sip of water and put the class on his desk. My eyes still lowered, since I could not bring myself to look at his pitying eyes.
"Rose... Your body has not recoverd from the two previous abortions. If you carry on you may never have kids in the future. Sometimes you have to... "
"Dr Earl please... Am here for one thing. Please help. "
"Fine...please follow me! "
We arrived at the operation room, which was a lot more cold than any room. It felt like a freezer!! "Get ready, I'll be back in a while." Dr Earl said as he left the room. I put everything off, got on the operation table. "This always makes me feel like an animal ready for slaughter " I thought to myself as I stared at the white ceiling. Dr Earl got in with all the equipment, the knives made of steel, needles and.. .while I was busy counting the utensils, the operation room busted open, shocked by the commotion, I looked at the door only to find William standing there! He looked disappointed, angry, sad...
Without a word, he approached me slowly. I could not help but jump off the table and reach for my clothes. I really thought he was going to kill me, but what surprised me was that he just helped me put on my clothes, carried my bag, held my hand and worked out of the room. Dr Earl just watched us leave. I was pretty sure that tomorrow people would get the news of a murdered young woman aged 25....me! Or I was going to be crippled...
I couldn't feel my leg walking, I am not sure if I was breathing, I was so scared...no... I was terrified....I was devastated... I.. Sigh
I was so messed up, I wasn't aware I was actually crying until he used his thumb to wipe away my tears. I stared at him for a few seconds before I got in to his car. He got in and drove the car towards home. My head hang really low, I couldn't bring myself to look at him anymore, I was covered in cold sweat! And just like the day I tried to escape, he took me to his mansion at the end of the city, where there are few houses near by. Upon noticing the fact, I panicked, " William I am so sorry... I didn't mean to upset you! The thing is...I really thought you wouldn't want to have a child with someone like me. I mean I know I should have informed you before I start thinking of anything...Please don't punish me.. Hmm? I... "
"Shut up! " he interrupted me.
I was leaning towards the door like a frightened deer, not knowing what to do.
The look he gave me I could not understand, he looked helpless, dissapointed and...
As we approached the frond gate, the car slowed down, William stuck his hand through the window to have his finger print scanned. This was followed by the gate sliding open and him shifting his body to start driving, somehow his movement and the opening gate sound occurred simultaneously giving me a huge shock. He just looked at me like I was stupid, making me feel very childish and stupid.
The distance between to gate and his mansion, which under normal circumstances was quite long, for some weird reason seemed really shot that day. We drove in to the garage which closed shut behind us. I was shivering noticeably as I followed far behind him to the living room.
He tossed my bag to a sofa from which something fell off. I didn't dare to go and check what fell off, I stood at the door and watched him climb the staircas to the second floor. My eyes went wide open as he stopped and turned around to look at me. "What are you waiting for? Follow me!" and headed up again. In a snail speed, I walked towards his direction, debating on whether I really follow him or escape! I knew that if I ran away, that would enrage him, and the punishment would be unbearable for me. I don't know how I reached the last top staircase, but I know stopped for a very long time wondering why all the mates went. While I was still lost in my thought, his irritated voice came from his bedroom. " Rose don't make me come and get you! What the f*ck is taking you so long? " My eyed jumped off my skull as I started walking faster to the door. "Yes!! Am coming!" I stopped at the door turning my back towards it for a few minutes before I was shocked by the opening door behind as I turned around to meet a furious William. " please... " was all I could say as I open and closed my lips.
