Prologue
"We're not gonna make it."
"We're gonna make it."
"We're not gonna make it!!!"
"Too late."
"I hate you.”
And that comment was followed by a long terrified scream which sounded kind of like Aaaaaaaoooouuuaaaa! Well don't expect from me to sound just perfectly fine as I fall to my death.
No kidding.
The legend says that falling from a million floors, will kill you. Guess who is testing the legend. And I'm not kidding about the number.
"Quit screaming. We're fine."… -Said no one ever while falling to their death, but apparently my best friend here was oddly right. His huge claws were wrapped around my arms, as his beautiful black wings beat the air to keep us up.
"You're an as..."
"No swearing or I will wash your mouth with soap again."
I seriously hate him.
Imagine a huge bird talking by moving its beak like in those cartoons. Well thank God, Knox wasn't doing that or I would freak out. We have this special way of communication. You will never guess.
Through thoughts. Tough guess, huh?
How is that possible? I have no idea, but since an old crazy weirdo who claimed himself as a magician, the son of Thaddeus
I have no idea who Thaddeus is
, explained us... like ten times
the dude didn't know how to explain at all and he was crazy. Nothing is worse than a crazy magician
... well, I'll give you the short version.
Have you ever heard of soul mates?
If yes, you have the half of the answer. If not, do your research, I'm not Google.
The thing is that the term soul mates is the only thing that can explain this thing, but I prefer to call it dude mates... Bro-mate... best buds? I don't know. It sounds bad either way. We are just spiritually linked. If one dies, the other is doomed. We know how the other feels...
And welcome to my life, where I'm spiritually linked with a jerk with a beak.
Nope. He's not just a big black... "Eagle?"
"What?"
"There is no such a thing like black eagles." I frowned at Knox .
"Of course there is... or at least was."
Anyway where was I? Oh yeah... like I was saying my spiritually linked bro wasn't just an eagle. He was the whole God damn zoo.
"Angus..." Knox 's voice sounded panicked but the dude panics when seeing a spider
ironically he can transform in any kind of animal that actually eats spiders for breakfast and yet he just jumps on me and let me deal with it. Which isn't a good idea since: a
I hate spiders and b
I'm terrified of them
.
"What?" I snapped a little bit annoyed, for no particular reason.
"The huge dude can fly."
"WHAT???" I would be embarrassed of how high pitched my tone came out if I wasn't scared for my life as a giant who thinks the “Death look” is the latest fashion, is after me. And to make things just perfect an arrow, as big as a tree, barely missed my face, giving me the reason to totally freak out.
Okay, I should probably back up and explain how the hell did I end up jumping off a city with a million floors being followed by a Death-wanna-be freak shooting arrows at me...
Well it kind of started like this…
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---Apparently stealing from giants is a bad idea... duh-01
A lot of things have changed through years. Hitler died. Donald Trump became a president. World War III. Books being replaced with technology
the real tragedy in all these years
. People live with magical creatures... to sum up... nothing really important.
But building a city with a million floors? People have gone to far.
Personally I would have called it the Block. Or the Brick? It looks like a brick to me. A very huge one.
The city is like a super oversized flat. It is probably as big as half of Manhattan once was and as high as it can get. Every floor is like a whole city itself. People having meetings with fairies to discuss about environmental issues... centaurs giving archery classes... elves running libraries filled with books about magic... and things like that. The usual, you know.
The perfect place for me to use my kleptomania. Look, I'm not proud of it. It's not like I have it out of control. It is kind of hard to explain, but I will give you the short version. I don't steal random things that just happen to be desired by my sick mind. It just happens that sometimes... there are a few objects, that seem to call my name. Don't laugh. I'm serious. There are object that whisper to me to get them. It's like a creature calling for help. My help. Why does it happen? I have no idea. Sometimes I resist the urge and just keep walking, but other times
like this time for example
the whispers turn to desperate screams and I just can't let the poor object suffer, can I?
So that brings me to stealing this extremely cool mirror with three silver dragon heads, one on the top and the two others on each side of the mirror. The dragon head on the top looked like it was watching you right through your soul, like it knew all your dark secrets
which I don't find that cool. It’s actually a little bit creepy
and the two other dragon heads looked like were side smirking at you. So it was a very creepy, cool and totally useless mirror.
I had to take it.
It was like I could hear the dragons screaming in my head. Calling me. Strangely not calling for help, but ordering me. In my defense, I tried to walk away. Knox tried to stop me, since it kind of gets boring to always run away from the angry owners of the stuff I steal from or the police, but even he couldn't do much, since both of us had the urge to take the God damn mirror.
It was actually kind of weird how easily I stole it. It was in a huge mansion, guarded by this super huge guy dressed like Death, trying to look all scary and cool. Apparently the dude had had a few drinks, judging by the way he barely could stand up, so I kind of just waved, wishing him a good afternoon, walked in, took the mirror which was as big as my head
I'm not good with measurements and it was kind of weird if you ask me, because the mirror was way too small for a giant to use
, walked out, waving at the giant again. But of course there were three huge bulldogs which to my opinion would be better if we called them bulldozers since they were seriously huge.
And then it’s kind of obvious what happened afterwards. I ran for my life. Then I jumped off the city and now I'm being followed by a drunk replica of Death. It's not like that happens all the time to everyone, does it?
Another arrow was shot towards us. This one almost caught Knox in the right wing. Fortunately... he was lucky. Unfortunately? He dropped me because that arrow scared the life out of him. Once again I found myself falling while screaming in a high pitch voice. But like I said. I don't have the luxury to feel ashamed of that since I was about to freaking die.
"Knox!!!" I didn't even recognize my voice, which should really make me consider my masculinity.
A few hippogriffs that happened to be passing by, gave me weird looks, titling their heads, probably wondering if I'm a girl or a boy. Yep. I have reached that point. The point where freaking hippogriffs wonder about my gender.
Another arrow tore the air apart, flying towards me, but almost shot one of the hippogriffs.
Even though dying, I somehow managed to think: That dude now is doomed.
Now let me give you an advice that later might save your life. You never, NEVER, mess up with a pack of hippogriffs. Messing with just one is simply, ridiculously stupid and dangerous. A whole pack? Man, say your last prayers.
"Knox!!!" I screamed again. "Dying here.”
"Sorry man." Knox finally decided that I was more useful alive, and grabbed me by my arms.
As we flew away, I watched the hippogriffs attacking the giant with all their might. They were like six of them and one drunk giant. The dude had no chance. I felt a little bad for leaving the hippogriffs dealing with my problem as I flew away, but then the giant asked for it. So...
Bye!!! ⁽⁽ଘ
ˊᵕˋ
ଓ⁾⁾
"The next time, you don't just let me fall, okay?" My voice was irritated, but I dare you to blame me.
"There will be a next time?" I wanted to laugh at how panicked Knox's voice sounded in my head.
"There is always a next time." With me and my kleptomania? Nothing is for sure.
***
