CHAPTER ONE
Hotline:
Welcome to Sext4Fun.
What’s your fancy? ?? or ??
Sara:
??
Hotline:
Great choice! Our ?????? are extra firm tonight.
Please hold while we connect you…
I snort-laughand take a drink from my fourth glass of wine. It’s been a long week and Imayhave indulged a little too much to compensate, which led to me texting this service for shits-n-giggles after seeing one of their cheesy late-night commercials.
Operator 69:
Hello there. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with tonight?
Sara:
Seriously? 69? ?? How many of you Operator 69s are there?
Operator 69:
Just me. We all have a number, but I’m the lucky one with the cliché ID. ??
I’m Ian. What’s your name, gorgeous?
Sara:
You don’t know that I’m gorgeous.
Maybe I’m hideous. A total hag.
Operator 69:
I very much doubt that. Describe yourself and I’ll prove it you…
Sorry, you still haven’t given me your name.
Sara:
It’s Sara
Operator 69:
That’s a very pretty name. Describe yourself to me, Sara.
Sara:
5’7”, longish blonde hair, brown eyes. Pretty average all around, I’m afraid.
Operator 69:
Doesn’t sound average to me.
Sounds like your body is the perfect height to fit against mine when I pull you in close.
Sounds like my hands will have plenty to hold on to when I pull your head to the side to trail hot kisses down your neck.
And I’ll know you’re turned on whenever your brown eyes go almost black with desire.
I stare slack-jawed at my phone for several seconds before my motor skills kick back in to type out a response.
Sara:
Wow. You’re good at this.
I should also mention I’m currently buzzed on too much wine.
So good judgment is not my forte at the moment.
Hence why I’m blowing money texting a complete stranger after seeing a tacky commercial.
Operator 69:
LOL You text very well for a drunk person.
Sara:
I’m an editor. Buzzing or not, I always proofread.
Operator 69:
An editor, huh? I find intelligence extremely sexy.
Sara:
Yeah, sure you do.
Is this the part where you ask me what I’m wearing?
Or is that my line? I’m not sure what the protocol is for these things, lol
Operator 69:
No protocol, Sara.
We can talk about whatever you want.
But for the record…
I’m wearing a pair of jeans.
Sara:
And…?
Operator 69:
That’s it.
I was getting ready for bed when I got your text.
So yeah. Just jeans.
But I could be in less, if you want. wink
Sara:
Huh. I pictured you sitting in a call center somewhere.
Operator 69:
The messages are rerouted to our phones through an app.
I’m currently at home, on my couch. In case you wanted a visual.
Sara:
What, no selfie?
Operator 69:
I can’t show you my face, but anything else goes.
Would you like to see my body, Sara?
Sara:
Yes
Shit
I mean no
I don’t even know why I’m still texting you.
I don’t need some random stranger to pretend he’s my boyfriend or whatever.
Operator 69:
Like I said before, there’s no protocol. No rules.
I can talk to you like I’m your boyfriend.
I can talk to you like I’m just a hook-up.
Or…
Sara:
Or?
Operator 69:
Or I can be exactly who I am…
I almost choke on my wine when his picture comes through. Holy hell, the man is sex in denim. No one has a right to be that fucking perfect, but I’m not complaining.
Operator 69:
This is me, Sara. An anonymous man who finds you intriguing.
A man who suspects you have a deviant side that you keep hidden from the world.
A man who’d like to coax that side to the surface and see where it takes you.
Sara:
Ooh, swing-and-a-miss, 69. You almost had me for a second there.
The visual aid of washboard abs and “finding me intriguing” was a compelling enticement.
But I’m afraid your intuition needs some work.
If I have a deviant side, I’ve also been hiding it from myself.
Operator 69:
I think everyone has a little deviance in them. They maybe just haven’t discovered it yet.
But we’ll go with your theory for now.
So then tell me what you ARE into.
Sara:
What do you mean?
Operator 69:
Sexually. What do you like?
What sort of things get you off?
Sara:
I don’t know how to answer that.
Operator 69:
OK, we’ll try it this way…
What kind of porn do you watch?
Sara:
Lol, I’m a woman. I don’t watch porn.
Operator 69:
Nothing to be ashamed of. Tons of women watch porn.
Sara:
This one doesn’t.
Operator 69:
Maybe you should.
You can see what sort of things turn you on…
Ménage, role playing, public sex/exhibitionism, BDSM…
Sara:
I’m not going to watch porn, 69.
Operator 69:
Call me Ian, Sara.
Sara:
Fine. I’m not going to watch porn, Ian.
Operator 69:
Why not?
Scared of discovering you might have a bit of deviance in you after all?
Sara:
That’s ridiculous. Of course I’m not scared of that.
Operator 69:
Then do it.
Tonight, before you go to bed.
While the wine is still flowing in your veins and your inhibitions are low.
I’m challenging you, Sara.
To step outside your comfort zone and let go of the reins, if just a little.
I chew on my lip as my head and my pride—not to mention my starving libido—fight for dominance.
Sara:
Okay, fine. I’ll do it.
Operator 69:
Perfect.
I can’t wait to hear all about it.
Sara:
Wait, what?
Operator 69:
I want you to text me tomorrow.
Tell me about the things that made you hot.
Tell me what made your breath quicken and your pulse race.
Are you game, Sara?
Can I look forward to hearing from you again?
Sara:
I guess you’ll have to wait and see.
Operator 69:
I will be.
Waiting, that is.
Goodnight, Sara.
Sara:
Goodbye, Ian.
What the hell just happened?
I narrow my eyes at my iPhone like it wields black magic. Must be why it’s so damn expensive. I toss the evil thing aside and get up to set my now empty wine glass in the sink, shaking my head over the night’s strange turn of events.
Talking to Ian was fun, but it’s over now. There’s no way I’m watching porn, much less texting him tomorrow night to tell him about it!
But as I head off to bed, my gaze snags on my open laptop, and I can’t help but wonder…
CHAPTER TWO
Sara:
Mission accomplished.
Operator 69:
Hey, Sara. I was hoping I’d hear from you tonight.
Sara:
I honestly have no idea why I’m texting you.
I’m not even tipsy this time.
Operator 69:
I like that you’re sober. It means you’re totally present for our conversation.
And…for your Porn Mission recap.
Sara:
Who says I’m giving you a recap?
Operator 69:
I do.
Sara:
That’s a little cocky.
Operator 69:
Oh, I’m a lot cocky. Pun intended. ????
But it’s not really cocky in this situation bc I know you want to tell me.
You wouldn’t have texted me otherwise.
Sara:
Maybe I only texted because I’m bored and you amuse me.
Operator 69:
Or maybe it’s bc I speak to that secret part of you.
The wicked part that wants to be heard and seen.
Sara:
Damn. You sure know what to say to a girl to get her worked up.
Operator 69:
No more stalling, gorgeous.
Tell me what happened after we signed off last night.
Sara:
I watched a bunch of different things…
I had no idea there’s so many categories to choose from.
Operator 69:
There’s something out there for everyone.
But right now I’m only interested in what’s out there for YOU.
Sara:
Why?
Operator 69:
Why what?
Sara:
Why do you want to know so badly?
We could talk about the rain in Spain and you’ll still get paid.
I’m sure you must have clients who text you just to have someone to talk to.
Operator 69:
I do. Is that what you want? To keep our conversations platonic and banal?
Sara:
…
Operator 69:
Sara?
Sara:
No.
Operator 69:
Then tell me what you watched and liked.
Sara:
I liked the amateur videos.
Operator 69:
Oh yeah? Why is that?
Sara:
They were more real. The professional ones are so over-the-top. All that fake moaning doesn’t do it for me.
Operator 69:
But you found some amateur porn you liked?
Sara:
Yeah, some.
Operator 69:
What did you like about it, Sara?
Sara:
The people weren’t drop-dead gorgeous, but their desire for each other seemed…genuine.
Operator 69:
That’s hot. Any particular vid that really turned you on?
Sara:
There was this one series that was pretty good. This guy films in public situations.
He hides a camera somewhere and hooks up with a willing woman he’s found.
Operator 69:
I know the videos you’re talking about. Which one did you find the most exciting?
Sara:
There was this one he did in a back booth of a crowded coffee shop in broad daylight.
I mean, everything happened below the table, but it was still pretty damn bold.
Operator 69:
Agreed. Very bold and very hot.
Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
If something illicit was ever happening right under your nose without you noticing.
Sara:
Yeah. I’ve been going to the same coffee shop for years…
But today I caught myself glancing up from my laptop more than a few times.
It was like I was suddenly going to see people fornicating in every corner, lol.
Operator 69:
Haha, not likely ??
But a place that combines coffee and sex sounds like heaven to me.
Sara:
Lol definitely.
Operator 69:
Do you work from the coffee shop often?
Sara:
Almost every day. I can’t go long without my Linde cake and chai tea fix.
Operator 69:
Linde cakes, huh? They good?
Sara:
Yeah, I get them from a coffee shop in Portland that’s famous for them.
They’re amazing. Total food-gasm.
Operator 69:
Mmmm…I have a very nice visual of you.
Short skirt, tight low-cut top, your eyes staring at your computer screen…
I’d watch you from across the room as your mouth envelopes the sugary treat…
As you suck your fingertips clean and your pink tongue darts out to lick your lips.
Sara:
Wow, you really know how to enhance reality.
You’ve almost got *me* turned on with that description.
Operator 69:
I think you ARE turned on by it.
I think the thought of me watching you in public…
Of me getting hard for you…
I think that turns you on very much.
Am I right, Sara? Be honest with me.
Sara:
God, I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this stuff.
But yes. The thought of that turns me on.
Operator 69:
Good girl. I like it when you open up to me.
And I’ll be honest with you in return…
Thinking about you watching porn last night is making me hard.
Sara:
Well, it’s only fair I’m not the only one affected.
Operator 69:
Trust me. I’m painfully affected over here.
Sara:
Good. Where are you right now? I want to picture you.
Operator 69:
In bed with my back propped on the headboard…
And my sheet tented over my lower half.
Sara:
Tented?
Operator 69:
I sleep nude, and considering my current condition… ??
Sara:
Jesus. You’re killing me.
Operator 69:
Don’t die yet. I need details about last night.
Did watching that video make you wet?
When he pulled her legs apart and fingered her soaking pussy under the table…
Did you touch yourself?
Sara:
Yes. I slid my hand inside my panties and got myself off.
I was so turned on. I couldn’t help myself.
Operator 69:
Fuck, Sara. My dick could nail railroad spikes right now.
Imagining you coming on your fingers is the hottest damn thing ever.
Scratch that…
WATCHING you come on your fingers would be the hottest damn thing ever.
I feelthe heat rise in my cheeks. For the first time since I started texting Ian, I’m glad he can’t see my reaction right now.
Sara:
I think that watching you get yourself off would be hot, too.
Maybe that’s what I’ll imagine as I go to sleep tonight.
Operator 69:
You’d better. Just make sure you imagine all 9 thick inches of me.
Sara:
9?! I’m tempted to ask for proof…
But I don’t think we’re quite at that stage in our relationship. Lol
Operator 69:
No, not yet. But soon.
Though we ARE at the stage where I give you another mission.
Sara:
Another one? My name’s not Ethan Hunt, you know.
Operator 69:
LOL I love those movies. Now, are you ready for your next mission?
