I regret having made this decision and I regret the effect of having abandoned you that day.. I saw you in tears and begging me not to leave but I had no choice and I could not
don't go back I love you of course but I want to realize my dream... I hope that one day you could understand me so forgive me.. I make you the promise to come back to you I don't know when but I
will come back so that we can live our love patiently.
****
Five years ago I left my country to study abroad.
my parents did not have the means to pay for my studies so my godfather offered me to go and live with him in order to pay for my studies and I had to accept because I have always liked making music and for that
I had to have support.
My parents immediately accepted and they told me afterwards.
At first I didn't want to leave because I was in a relationship and I didn't want to leave him because I loved him very much and he loved me too.
we were both very happy.
And for nothing in the world I would like to lose him but I understood if I wanted our love to last I had to put myself on his level.
Yes I didn't want to be a burden to him and his family.
He is lucky to have everything he wants.
He can do whatever he wants just by snapping his fingers.
Even if he tells me night and day that I will never be a burden for him, but I'm afraid that one day he will change his mind.
So I decided to agree to go to my godfather for the good of all of us.
The only mistake I made was not telling him first.
I don't know who he learned it from and he followed me to the airport.
I was surprised to see him and especially sad at the state he was in.
He was in tears with red eyes and dry lips, his hair was disheveled as if he had pulled it.
He approached me.
At first I thought he was going to hit me but he just threw himself into my arms, squeezing me very tightly preventing me from breathing at the same time.
I wanted to push him away but he was holding me too tight and I couldn't move.
He was crying in my arms begging me not to abandon him.
After a few minutes that seemed endless, he finally let go of me and looked me straight in the eye.
I felt awful for inflicting this pain on her.
I hated myself for making him suffer so much.
I felt monstrous.
I wanted to disappear to soothe his pain.
But I was unable to do anything and the tears that ran down my cheeks showed my weakness.
- Why are you doing this.. I'm begging you baby don't leave.. I promise not to blame you, I'm begging you" he said to me with a heavy heart.
I can't look him in the eye.
I didn't want to give in if I had posed in my eyes would only once be in hers I think I would have given in.
When I wanted to speak, it was my father who appeared.
And told me
- son it's time..your plane will take off soon go go there".
My father knew my boyfriend and he was not against our relationship.
It's just he wanted me to do what I liked even if he didn't have the means.
And I didn't want to disappoint him so I said yes we nodded and turned me away.
But someone was holding my hand.
I turned around and saw that it was my boyfriend holding my hand.
"N..no my heart please don't leave..I couldn't live without you..you promised me that we would always be together..please" he said in tears.
"I.. I'm sorry my love.. I have no choice I promise to come back.. but now I have to go sorry" I said removing her hand from my arm and running off.
Sorry my love I'm really sorry I know you must be suffering a lot right now because of me if you knew how disgusted I am by my choice I'm also suffering like you but I'm going to do everything possible so that we find each other as much as possible
quickly as possible.
But I didn't know it was going to take five years.
Five long years to the day that I was far from the only man that I never stopped loving and that I dream of the day of our reunion.
And I didn't know what to expect when I returned to my country.
