My world was lit on fire.
Nobody tells you how loud the silence is. As kids, we were shushed to remain silent but as adults, some of us are obligated to oscillate with it.
Never reckoned I would be that someone.
Placing down the bouquet of pink roses at her resting place, I can feel the tears brimming in the corner of my eyes. Every time it felt the same.
The identical eerie old sensation. The exact feeling when I received that damned call telling me there was an accident at the Interstate 405 highway.
The raspy voice ever so calmly yet urgently emphasized how I needed to be at the Huntington hospital as the victim's last call was to me.
I feel my knees going weak as I painfully reminisced the severe recollection of the day that took away the only family I was left with.
I lay down beside her grave, feeling the dampness of the grass descent through my back. The sky looked beautifully unpleasant today.
Closing my eyes, I drift back to the agonizing memory that chucked my world upside down two years ago.
2 years back
No no no, this can't be happening, I say out loud whilst looking for my car keys.
"Pick up the goddamn phone, June" I nearly scream.
June, my older sister, more like a mother just called me 1 hour back saying that she'll be coming over to my place. She sounded frightened.
I tried asking her what was the issue, but she just brushed it off saying that she was a bit worked up.
I advised her that I can come over and she doesn't need to tire herself out, being 8 months pregnant she was. But this is June we are talking about, who never listens to anyone.
Soon after receiving the call, I am left with the dreaded feeling that something isn't right.
I get in the car and drive to the hospital whose location was sent to me by that man on the call.
I scurried to the reception and was directed by the cop to the hallway outside the OT.
"How are you related to Miss June Everly, ma'am?" the bearded cop asked me with concerning eyes.
"IT ISN'T JUNE IN THE OT, RIGHT? IT CAN'T BE HER. I- I- TALKED TO HER, SHE WAS COMING TO VISIT ME" I almost yell out, losing my balance and nearly dropping on the floor until two female cops held me.
I can't lose her, no I can't. This can't be happening. I can feel the unshed tears trying to flow out but i resisted them.
God can't be this cruel, right? First, mom and dad, now June? She's going to be fine. She has to be, for me and Skylar. Wait, Skylar...
I got a hold of myself and stood up from the chair that I was being seated on while I was lost in my thoughts.
"Skylar" I said to the same bearded cop who looked at me with a confused stare.
"Skylar, the baby. Is she alright?" I said with a low voice.
The cop lowered his gaze from my eyes. I moved towards him and held him by his arm,
"Sir, please tell me she's alright" I could hear my voice breaking.
"I'm sorry, ma'am" he held my gaze for a few seconds and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, and started to slowly descend away.
My lips started quivering, I was losing composure. I need to be strong for June. I need to be her support. I need to have her back. I sit back on the chair where I was seated before.
A tear fell from my left eye, followed by a mess of other tears. I cupped my face in my hands and sobbed till I could no longer breathe.
A few hours went by, no sign of any doctors coming out of the OT. Few nurses hurried in and out but no one told me anything.
After what felt like an eternity, a doctor came out and informed me that June had lost way too much blood and the odds weren't in her favor.
I sat beside her bed, taking her hand into mine. Caressing her hand I recalled all the times these hands would wipe away my tears or made me my favorite cake or just stroked my head back to sleep when I woke up from another nightmare.
Water began to collect at the bottom lid of my eye as I looked at my elder sister just sheer hours away from falling into oblivion.
"Sophie" I heard a low intense voice.
"June, June are you okay? Let me call the doctor" I sprung up about to dash to the door when June's hand gripped mine tighter.
"Stay" she whimpered.
"June, you will be okay, let me call the doctor" I held her hand with both of mine.
"I won't make it, baby. Listen to me please" she said coughing.
"Yes June, I'm here, I'm here" I said with corner of my eyes dampening.
"I and Skylar love you so much" she said tiredly trying to look down at her baby bump which was no longer there. Her eyes begin to water but she still managed to give me a weak smile.
"You've been an a..amazing s..sister. T..Trust no one, but y..yourself" her voice started to crack and her breathing was becoming shallow every second.
"Please stay" I said with tears swirling all over my eyes.
She let go of my hand and reached for my face, cupping it and wiping my tears for the last time.
I sat on the edge of the bed and rested my face on her shoulder weeping like the baby that I was to her. She kept on stroking my head gently.
"Look a..at m..me" she said, her voice lower than a whisper.
"Let me look at y..you one last t..time, b..baby" she said with her breath hitching.
I looked at her, trying to carve her honey brown eyes deep into my now wrecking soul.
She gave me a weak smile and mouthed I love you. Before I was able to say I love you back, her eyelids dropped leaving mine to be lifeless.
The funeral took place. There is no greater sorrow than watching someone you love being buried six feet down right in front of your eyes.
Everything was a blur.
Except the memory of the man that stood right in front of June's casket with a hoodie on, eyeing till they buried her every inch and then disappeared into the mist he came from.
Few days later, I recieved a call from the doctor that operated on June saying she was raped before the car crash happened.
If there was any microscopic piece of my already ravaged soul left, it evaporated into subliminal fumes of vengeance.
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