UNEDITED
15 years ago...
Picture a dark stormy night; Thunder roaring over the splashing water and non-stop lightning lighting up the sky. A young Clarissa crying in her hands on a bench under a park gazebo, her long brown hair wet, and wavy, her pink and cream floral dress soaked, pasting on her skin, and her shoulders rocking as she cried. She was vulnerable, afraid, and confused.
She fell for this guy; Even though she thought she wouldn't, even though she thought she was in control, still she fell... and hard. Like, face-first into cement concrete that dries fast and keeps her stuck to the ground like a bump in the road. His charm and roguish style easily tripped up her ill-prepared self.
When he gave her the first complement, she knew she was in over her head, really really in over her head.
He was totally out of her league and the fact that she didn't have any experience with the opposite sex didn't help her confidence and, maybe her resistance.
He was every girl's dream, had a great body, and worked out every day, and he was handsome, almost too handsome. Sandy brown hair and sharp green eyes; and when he laid them on her she reacted like a deer caught in headlights.
The night of their first date, he was dressed immaculately in a blue dress shirt and soft denim pants, neat, clean-shaven, and he smelled really good. The aroma was thick and heavy, it reminded her of rum and honey.
Her conservative self wore a long floral dress and left her hair loose. She wasn't the dressing up, make-up wearing type. She didn't even know what mascara was.
He took her to a restaurant that was near the beach, a place they had to drive an hour to get to but it was worth it. The sight of the moonlight hitting the water... mesmerizing.
She remembers him circling her waist and softly tugging her back against his chest. She remembers him taking a deep breath and admitting in a whisper. "You make me feel different." It gave her chills... the good kind.
He made her feel special and cherished, loved even. She blushed the entire time she was with him.
By the end of that date, she was falling for him. It took her by surprise.
She always wondered if love actually existed or if people only got married for the benefits, for financial stability, procreation, or to not have to die alone.
When he reached over the dinner table and grazed his finger across her cheek brushing hair aside, she got her answer. She had never experienced butterflies before then.
She was swept right off her feet and barely two weeks into the relationship they made love. It just felt right.
It was now their one month anniversary. She went shopping and picked out a shirt and card to give as a gift. She pulled a turquoise colored one from the rack and thought how handsome he would look in the color.
Then it hit her, she suddenly realized that her monthly cycle was late and it was never late. Then as if on cue she started swaying and dizzies waves a hand in her brain. She balances herself and takes a deep breath before hanging the shirt back up and running to buy a pregnancy test. She confirms in the public bathroom that she was in fact carrying Jacob Kent's child.
"No." She mumbles.
How could she let this happen? This was detrimental to her life. She was in college. How could she stop to take care of a baby? What was Jacob going to think? What is he going to say? Abortion was not an option for her. Is he going to want it? Is he going to be there? And if he does want to be in the baby's life, will he resent her for giving him responsibility when he was trying to build a life?
They had an appointment set to meet in the park after his evening classes. They were supposed to exchange gifts. He was never going to expect the present she had brewing for him. She was sure that this was going to end their month-long relationship. He was going to hate her. It was all her fault, she forgot to take so many of her birth control pills.
"Hey." He reaches the top step of the shelter to the gazebo. He had a black umbrella and a gift bag curled in his bicep. He sets both things down because Immediately, he notices tears in her eyes when she uncovers them. He grips her upper arms and helps her stand. What's wrong." She pulls away and turns around.
His brows furrowed. He didn't know what to do. "Did I do something?"
"No." She sobs. She puts her hands over her face. "I don't know how else to tell you..."
"Tell me what Clair?"
"I'm pregnant." She didn't hear a response. Just the dramatic sound of heavy falling rain around her. She was too afraid to see his expression so she didn't turn around.
"That's." He begins. "Don't be upset." He sets his hand on her shoulders and rubs gently. It's going to be okay." He proceeds to turn her around. "This is a blessing."
"What?" Her brows joined together. "You're not angry with me?"
"I'm elated...There isn't another woman in existence that I would rather do this with...And just so you know, I don't have the right to be angry with you over this."
She sniffles. "You want this baby?"
"Of course I do...I want you too." He declares.
"Oh my god." She gasps when he suddenly drops to his knees.
"From the moment I first saw you, I knew that you were unique and I had this feeling that I never felt before. "This baby." He rubs her belly. "Is just the confirmation that you are the woman for me. I'm falling in love with you. Whatever happens after this, we'll figure it out. Be my wife."
"Don't do this." She sits on the bench. "Don't ask me to marry you because I'm pregnant." This was a repeat or her parents. She was the pregnancy that made her parents stay together. She definitely didn't want a marriage like theirs.
"Are you listening to me?" He joins her on the bench. "I'm in love with you. I want to be with you whether you're pregnant or not. I want to marry you whether you're pregnant or not.
She was so emotional and choking back tears.
"When I'm not with you, I wanna be. You're all I think about."
"Promise me... " She squeezes his hands. "promise that we won't be like them." There were nights they laid in bed together and she told him all about her childhood. He knew the damage that it did to her.
"I promise...It's not possible. I love you too much."
"Then..." She sniffles. "Yes! I'll marry you!" She pulls him into a hug.
It was crazy... they just met, but you know what they say; when you know, you know...
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