It was Thursday morning, the weather was pleasant and I asked for a comfortable coat in those early hours of the day, and for me it was perfect. The street was calm, few people passed me and few people looked at me, I liked that, just the noise of cars and footsteps on the sidewalks. On the ground, small bright stars appeared in front of them, gradually forming a path, a magical path to somewhere, and that fascinated my eyes. And the stars grew brighter, more beautiful, and more numerous as I neared their end.
A glass door made of aged wood was the final stop.
I looked up at the plain-looking sign in pastel blues, Constellation Bookstore, it said. The windows had the books in new releases, well placed and with well elaborated decoration, I felt like buying them even without even knowing what they were about. Good strategy, I couldn't help thinking. I looked at the sign on the door and decided to go in, I had been told at the hospital that there was a bookstore nearby and I should just follow the stars on the sidewalks to find it, I swear I thought it was a nurses joke, and what a joke it would be. A bell rang as I walked through the door, it caught my attention for seconds; that was a new place for me, the rustic decor took me on a time travel to old western movies, and it made me comfortable and fascinated. I heard footsteps on the wooden floor and for a few moments I imagined they were mine, but I was still standing there trying to choose which part of the establishment was my favorite.
"Welcome." I hear a male voice.
I turn about to crack a polite smile and greet the owner, but I — strangely — freeze and nothing happens, no words come out, my lips don't form the expected smile, and my body freezes. He's there in front of me, the same dull brown eyes, the same sad smile on his full lips, and that expression... The one that has continued to grip my heart for so many years. It's him, the boy with the sweet smile and bright eyes, who often saw him walk down the halls of the hospital's second floor with his hands in his pockets and the worried expression on his face always conflicting with the smile and the look.
"May I help you?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. Probably weirded out by a random guy staring at him like an idiot.
“I'm sorry” I looked at the books on the little table beside him “I was trying to remember the name of the book."
“Oh, right." He smiled in a way that looked relieved.
“The lights in the sky." I say immediately and regret the next moment for the desperate way that sounded "The title of the book. The lights in the sky."
He let out a low chuckle and in that moment my eyes locked on him, the pleasant sound coming out of his mouth and the soft expression that took over his handsome face. I've never seen him do that, all my memories are of a single look, smile and face.
“Hm, the lights in the sky." He repeated thoughtfully and turned his beautiful eyes to me "I have two books with the same title, one is a novel and the other is science fiction."
I search my mind for some more information and nothing but the title comes up. At the very least I should have asked my sister for the author's name, or the genre, either option would be better than just the name of the book.
I put my hand to the back of my neck realizing I have nothing else but that.
“Wow, you got me on that one." I admit "The book is for my little sister, she just sent me the name."
“Hmm.” He limited himself for a few seconds. “Do you know what she likes?"
I think for a moment, it's been so long since I went to my father's house that I can't remember the last time I was in the same place as my little sister's brat. What does a fifteen year old girl like at her age? I question myself, I used to spend hours and hours playing but she doesn't like games judging by the many times when we lived together and she turned off the TV every time she saw me playing but alright, she was just a kid.
“Her room used to have thousands of anime posters with shirtless boys hugging each other." I mention realizing only moments after I spoke aloud and he clearly heard.
I hear the low chuckle again. I'm getting used to this nice sound, what else can I do to hear it again and again?
“I think we already know the gender." he smiles and takes steps towards the bookshelf on the right.
I follow myself not knowing how I could find out so quickly which book it could be. I see him reach out, stand on tiptoe and reach the blue spine of the book, within seconds he has brought it down and looks at the cover with a sweet smile on his lips. Would it be too much to ask if he looked at me with that same smile? Maybe it was, maybe not, because he turns his face to me and there's the sweet, beautiful smile.
“This one, a boys love romance." he says and I look at the cover.
“Boys love?" I repeat confused seeing the two boys about to seal their lips.
"Yes" smiling he confirms "from what you said it certainly won't be science fiction, but you can take both if you prefer."
“Perverted girl." I mumble and the listener laughs low.
I smile, determined to buy all the books if necessary to hear him talk and laugh that way much more often.
“I'll take this one." I say pointing to the book.
“Want me to wrap it?" he asked moving towards the counter near the entrance.
"Yes please." I say, and follow him. I would follow him anywhere in this world.
I see him go behind the counter leaving the book on it, moments later a paper bag and some sheets of tissue paper and a string are placed there, I watch the small hands fold the sheets covering the book, tie the string, put a small card with the bookstore's logo, make a bow at the end and carefully arrange a few sheets of paper inside the bags so that the white ends are exposed. I could have sworn I was leaning on my elbows admiring him like a silly, lovesick guy, but I wasn't, my eyes following the movements of his hands, rising to the smirk on his rosy lips and getting lost in the glowing gaze. Is he happy doing this? I wondered seeing the smile widen even more as the work was finished. Yeah, he was happy.
"Here it is." He keeps smiling as he hands me the bag.
"Thanks." I thank you, taking my right hand to the inside pocket of my blouse.
My cell phone rings for the first time, I can't answer it, my hands are busy. I take out the first credit card I see and hand it to him while the cell phone ring persists; leaving my wallet on the counter I take the noisy device out of my pocket seeing that the call was from the hospital.
"Excuse me." I ask pulling away a little.
When I answer, I barely hear Nurse Han's first words and my feet are quickly moving towards the door and my body hastens. At that moment I forget what I was doing there and quickly leave; the time clocked in my head encourages my feet to run as fast as they can go, on the street there are more people, there is more movement. The hospital is not that far away, I can be there in a few moments if I keep running.
As soon as I walk through the door and find Nurses Jung and Han waiting for me, I hand one of them the bag and run towards the escalators with the two right behind me trying to inform me of the complications in Mr. Choi's chart. Emergency surgery is about to happen in minutes and my mind clears to absorb the new information, within the walls of the hospital nothing else matters to me but my patients. And I want to see them walk out the front door healed or at the very least better than they arrived.
