"Are you okay?" Ian asked, like I was the virgin. I half smiled at him then nodded, wrapping my arms around his bare shoulders.
I gasped at the touch of his cold hands against my back, but reveled in the feel of him. We were both on our knees, naked as we came. It was so hot out tonight, so I really didn't mind being naked and out in the open. It was actually kind of romantic... If that were even possible.
He pulled me closer to him, lying me down on the blankets that all had different themes. One of them looked pink under the moonlight, but it was probably white. Another was blue with the tiniest, little brown polka-dots on them.
He pushed inside of me, sighing of what sounded like relief... Or maybe it was the sigh of discovering something new. I don't know.
As he got his rocks off, I think I was trying to decipher what having him inside me was like, I could feel him no doubt, but whatever I was feeling was over quicker than it started.
He was breathing heavily, and I smiled at the way his quickened heart was beating next to mine. I think he was trying to decipher what being with me felt like to him, because he lied his head down on my chest, as if he was trying to catch his breath.
He held me so close, it was almost foreign. None of the guys I had been with before held me after. It was it hit-it-and-quit-it kind of thing. But not Ian.
Time passed, I'm not sure how long, but he finally looked up at me, glancing with those pale blue eyes of his. He didn't say anything, and I blinked, watching as he stood to his knees.
"I..." He started, but trailed off, looking anywhere but at me.
I sat up, my soft brown curls flowing over my breasts in a way that I didn't have to try and cover them, it did it for me. "I have to be home soon," I stated, noticing how beautiful he looked under the moon.
"Okay," he answered, never once looking at me again.
The ride back to my house was awkward. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say. I didn't really know Ian. He was just this guy I'd seen around school a couple of times. I didn't know anything about him besides his name really. And I knew stories only because Bonnie told me.
I risked a glance over at him, watching as he concentrated on the road in front of him. I think he noticed me looking because he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles white. I'd guessed that he wasn't saying anything because all his talking had been done non-verbally. He's obviously heard stories about me too though. That's why he invited me to the lake.
I finally looked away from him, leaning my head against the window. If I had known riding with was going to be so awkward I would have walked home.
Irrevocably, we pulled up to my house, and he put the car in park, not even bothering to turn it off. Ian still didn't look at me, didn't even say anything, and I tried not to be offended. I made sure to finish buttoning up my blouse, and then made sure my hair wasn't untidy.
I started to reach into his back seat for my bag, but came to a halt when I noticed him staring at me. My eyes widened, and he leaned in the back to get it for me. "Here," He passed it to me, and then proceeded to wipe something from the corner of my mouth. "You had some lipstick right there," he explained, and I nodded courtly, trying not to show the fact that we heart was racing from his touch.
"Bye," was all I said before stepping out of the car.
I tried not to look back as I walked to my front door, because I knew he was still there, and looking back at him would mean that I care. That I had just a little inkling of a feeling about him not speaking, and not looking at me even though I did.
I tried to be quiet when I walked through the door but it was pointless. My Mom was sitting right by the door reading a book, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was to wait for me.
"You missed dinner," she sighed, placing a bookmark between the pages of her book and closing it.
"I ate already." I lied.
"That's not the point, Aria." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, as she walked up to me. "I know it's the last week of summer and you want to enjoy your freedom, but you need to be home. It's late."
"Sorry, Mom. I won't do it again." And I wasn't lying. All the partying had been done, and I promised myself that Ian was going to be the last sex friend I had for the summer.
She looked at me with an expression that I couldn't read, our eyes dancing in the silence, and then finally sighed. "Okay," was all she said, and I didn't waste another second as I pretty much ran to my room.
I tried to slam the door shut, but it sounded more like a hard push. Throwing my bag on the floor, I threw myself back on my bed, spreading my arms out beside me. I closed my eyes, smiling at the way Ian's hands felt, at how softly he rubbed my mouth. No one's ever done that to me before.
I've never really thought much about the guys I've had sex with outside of sex, their one and only job was to fill an empty spot in my heart, and when it was done they were just "another one". It's just... Ian was so sweet - before - not so much after. And it doesn't help that he was so damn attractive, with his unruly, I-just-rolled-out-of-bed dirty blond hair, and those eyes.
Sighing, I listen to the sound of an airplane overhead, kicking my shoes off and crawling under my blanket. I don't why, but the sound of airplanes and trains in the night have always comforted me.
Like, I'd feel so alone, like I'm the only one awake in the world, and then I'd hear these people flying this plane; operating this train. And suddenly the world just seemed less lonely.
~*~
"Aria! Are you even listening to me?" Taylor asked, slapping me on my head.
"Ow!" I complained, rubbing the spot she hit. "What was that for?"
"For not listening to me," she stated, rolling her celery green eyes. "I wanna go to American Apparel. Come with me?"
"Where'd Bonnie and Oliveyah go?"
"Back to their mediocre lives, Oliveyah's mom called her, and Bonnie's meeting her boyfriend."
"I missed all of that?" I asked, completely shocked.
"Uh, yeah!" Taylor laughed, and I couldn't help but notice how perfect her dark red lips looked while she took the last few sips of her drink. "I want to go shopping. This food courts getting crowded." She stood to her feet, dumping both our trays in the garbage, and I followed quietly.
Once we were in the store, she ran me from point to point, picking up whatever she liked. I think her parents are happy they only have one child, because she is burning up their bank account.
My parents can't afford to buy things like this for us. Dad's got bills to pay, and Mom has six mouths to feed. I actually didn't have clothes like this until it got my first job. I could finally have the things I wanted, not just things I needed.
"I think this skirt would look great on you, Aria!" She beamed, placing a pleated leather skirt against my bottom.
I scrunched my face in disgust, pushing it away. "No thanks," I stated, walking over to the jewelry. I'm more of a band T-shirt and skinny jeans kind of girl. Taylor and Bonnie are the hipsters. They get things from “Topshop” and Mac. No one else can afford it.
"Hey," Taylor started, pointing over at one of the workers. "Isn't that the guy you were with last night?" She asked, and when I noticed Ian, I swiftly put her hand down.
"You can't just point at people!" I yelled, trying to hide the fact that all the blood was rushing to my face. I had hoped he didn't see me, so to make sure I ducked behind the one of the shoe carts. Me, being the clumsy person I am, knocks down the whole bottom row. "Oh my god..." I whispered, trying to pick them all up.
A guy - who wasn't Ian - peeked around the corner with furrowed brows. I looked up at him with a wide eyed gaze, and his curious glance slowly turned into a charming smile.
"What was that?" Ian's voice rang, and I gaped. I tried to stand up and leave before he came, but I wasn't quick enough.
"Aria," he said, surprise etched in his voice.
"Hi!" I grinned awkwardly, standing up straight. "I'm sorry, I have to go." With that, I gave a quick wave to Taylor, and made my way home.
Although my Mom and Dad were busy always, they made it a priority to have family meals. Tonight was lasagna night; my all time favorite! I even loved the smell and look of it.
I didn't even wait for everyone to sit down to start eating, which my Mom hated. "Are you going for the gold?" My Dad laughed, his soft brown eyes gleaming, and I blushed slightly, slowing my eating pace.
"She's a glutton, Dad," Iris joked, sitting next to me. Iris is my older sister. She just graduated high school, and while Micah and I are starting out our last year, she'll be joining our older sister, Veronica at the NYU.
Even though Iris and I are sisters, we don't look very much alike. She took after our Mother, whereas, I am the spitting image of our Father.
She inherited those wavy blonde curls, and those electrifying blue eyes, and I'm just plain old Jane - brown eyes, brown hair; real lame.
Then there's my brother Micah. We're twins, which probably explains why I look like my Dad, the boys usually do, and I'm just a carbonated copy of him.
Last there are the two brats, Jeremy and Ashton. There is such a huge age gap in here that no one even knows why these two were born.
After dinner, I was made to do the dishes, and clean the kitchen, which on a different would have been Iris's job, but they like to dote on her since she's graduated, so it's been passed down to me.
I had my shower, and got a few see you at school in the morning texts from friends, which actually made me cry. I can't believe summer is ending. I don't think I'm emotionally ready to start school back.
I shut off the lights, staring at the empty space in my bed. It actually saddens me that a person can fit beside me but is not beside me.
I know I've been with guys, but I've never actually slept next to one. And I've always kind if wondered how that would feel.
I find it quite odd how I've had an abundance of sexual partners, but I've never had a boyfriend, or held anyone's hand before. I'm like a lover without a lover.
I groaned at my own thoughts, picked up a pillow and turning it to the side so I could hug it close to me. I tried to not want it to be a boy, to not want it to hold me back, because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself really.
