We all have dreams, do we not? We dream of weird stuff like seeing aliens, killing someone, kissing the person you love, anything. But I only dreamed of one thing. A girl I haven't even met yet nor will I ever meet. I first thought it was because I focused more on my job than looking for a girl to date that I started dreaming about her.
She's not your typical type of girl that can be found in every girl, she's more than that. Every outfit would love to embrace her body, as she would make it look more beautiful. Her eyes were sapphires indented in her flawless skin. The dream I have is like her daily life, she would feed her dog, go to work— she's a nurse, be with her boyfriend, her friends, she is lively.
She lived every moment fully. Her ultimate mantra was live, love, and laugh unconditionally. That was the reason why I wanted to find her. I know she's real, I can feel that she's real and all I have to do is search for her.
“Alex, can you help me with something?” I ask my manager. We were just done shooting for a magazine.
“As long as it's not buying drugs, I'm cool with it.” he laugh a little.
I put my hands up, “I'm not like them.”
“So what is it?”
“I want you to search for someone.” I said in a serious tone like we're about to kill someone. But really, I'm just a normal model who wants to search for the girl in my dreams, literally.
“Who is it?” he asked. Alex may be my manager, but he can do anything. But sometimes, when the task is difficult, he asks for help from his friends. I don't really know much about them. I meet them sometimes and talk, eat, and that's all. We rarely meet too.
“The thing is... I don't know her name but...” he just rolled his eyes.
“I see her in my dreams.” I played with my fingers to avoid contact.
“Wha—How can we find her? You don't even know her name! She's only in your dreams, Luke!” he yelled.
I tried to calm him down, “I know her face, okay? I can just draw her and then you can search for her.”
“That doesn't sound easy as you just said.” he crossed his arms.
“You can find her! She has... She's—unique. I've never seen someone as beautiful as her.” I whispered.
“Please, find her.”
He stared at me for a while then sighed in defeat. “She better be.” handing me a paper and a pen.
I smiled at him and started scribbling on the paper. I drew like what I always see in my dreams. She was so pale, everything around her was. If I estimate her age, she's around below thirty.—maybe twenty four. She's around a hundered eighty to a hundred eighty five centimeters tall. She always loved her wavy brown hair that matched her deep blue eyes that shined like an ocean in the summer sun. She barrelled through the crowd of people like a wave through a sand castle built at low tide.
“Done.” as I gave Alex the paper while he examines it.
“Hmm... Okay, I'll look into it. I'll update you soon.” he puts the drawing in his pocket.
I narrowed my eyes, “You're not going to say she's beautiful or something?”
“Let's go. You have a photoshoot with Trisha at an hour.” he makes his way out as I follow him.
“Just say she's pretty.” I teased.
“Shut up.”
Having a job as a model is unstable, you can't be sure whether they'll get you or until when they will have you. It will be stable
for me
when you're famous and luckily, my first debut as a model was an instant hit. They love me which was made me lonely. Although I was famous, no one dared to befriend me, they thought I was some holy God that can't be touch. The only person who didn't care about all that was Alex.
“That's a wrap! Good work!” the photographer dismissed.
“'Luke!” Alex called as he gets closer to me.
“Did you find her already?”
He fidgets, “Quite the opposite, actually. We didn't find her. Not her name or where she lives. We tried to look for her in cctvs but...none. It's like she doesn't exist.” he said, “Are you sure she's real?”
I took a step backwards. She's really... not real?
“Did you search for her not just in this country?” he nodded. “Maybe she's somewhere the cctvs doesn't see. Like... Antartica!” I suggested.
“Luke. She's not even registered as a civilian.” he took a deep breath, “As I thought, she's just a girl in your dreams. That would be impossible if she's real.”
“Alex—”
“Go home and take a long bath, okay? You need to separate real and virtual. She's just a girl you made up in your dreams. Get a girl in this reality or something.”
You don't get it. Why would I dream of a girl like her doing activities such as drinking with friends or giving donations or be with her boyfriend? If I made her up, I would be her boyfriend. Not some long haired man who looks older than her.
“... I'll go home by myself.” putting on my jacket and walks toward the door.
“Luke...”
I turned around and gave him a smile. “Thank you for trying to look for her. I'll do my own searching now.” as I went out the door.
I look up above, the sun has just got down but the night is already dark. Like a never endless void. I started walking and noticed puddles and mud on the floor, it had just rained. This city is always beautiful at night for the lights are on which made the city glow. I walk towards a place where hundreds of people were walking. The screeching of cars, chatters of people broke the silence of the night.
And in a crowded place, you were all that I can see.
