Today is Sunday. I woke up as early as usual. If before, I woke up with a smile and excitement on my face. Now, I just woke up hoping. I'm hoping that he would show up at our meeting place today.
A lot of things have happened. It's been years since he ghosted me. It's funny that at my age, I'm still a victim of ghosting.
I was already in my OOTD for this Sunday. Plain white shirt, mom jeans, and black rubber shoes. I also tied my long hair so I wouldn't be irritated later.
I got my bag before leaving our house. I walked the distance from our house until the park where we used to meet up. Our memories together didn't fail to bring him back to me. I don't know why I'm still hoping that it could be us in the end.
I entered Lav's Cafe, located in front of the park. It's crowded because today is the last day of the weekend. I sat at my usual spot here in the Cafe, in front of the glass window. The sun is shining brightly. I can tell that it won't rain today.
"I knew it! Sunday won't pass without you going here" Laven found me.
Lavender is my best friend. She's also the owner of this cafe. I treasure her the most because it's hard to find a true friend like her in this world. She witnessed our almost love story.
I smiled at her even though I knew that she would start teasing me any moment now. She sat in front of me and leaned closer.
"Bes, aren't you tired? You're always here every Sunday" the sadness is very evident in her voice.
"I've got used to this," I said, eyes are in the kids playing outside.
They were so happy. How I wish I became a kid again.
"I don't like this for you. Don't you know the full name? If you tell me his full name, I can help," she suggested.
I just smiled at her. Didn't she think that I already thought about that?
"Basty. All I know is Basty. Sebastian."
I couldn't look at her in the eye so, I looked back outside, where the kids are.
She heaved a sigh. "If you're happy with what you are doing then, fine. But, you're not getting any younger. What about your dream family?"
"When we were together, I felt his love. I know he has his reasons why he didn't show up. I must wait for him so he could tell me his reasons," I convinced her.
"If he'd come back, he should've done it sooner. Seven years have already passed. You've waited enough. Bes, you need to wake up. Accept the fact that he won't be back. You'll end up hurting yourself more if you didn't and, I don't want that."
I closed my eyes tight. I don't want to hear it. The feeling of not being enough is killing me. I wasn't enough for him to stay, to come back. He made me feel loved then left without warning. He left when I was ready to give him my all, to spend my life with him.
"Alright! I'll get your order. One Sebastian, right? Kidding," she winked before leaving.
I was once lost in my thoughts. I can't help but remember every little thing we did. When he let himself looked like an idiot for me to smile.
My phone rang. I know that it was Auntie Sallie so, I didn't bother to look. I let it rang until the call ended. She was sleeping when I left so she must be looking for me.
I was born to get left behind and to be cheated on by someone I love.
First, my mother. She died after giving birth to me. She died because of me. Maybe if I wasn't born, she's still alive.
The second was my father. I was two when he died because of a heart attack. I was naughty when I was a kid. My mistake again. My parents died because of me. I was their unlucky charm.
I hate my life but, I couldn't do anything to change it. My life sucks but, I should deal with it until the day of my death.
I didn't have the chance to meet them. I grew up without my parents, just Auntie Sallie. She kept saying that my parents love me so much but, I know they do not. If they really love me, they should've stayed by my side.
The third one was my first love and my first boyfriend. I can accept that he didn't love me anymore. That his love faded. He should've told me. I can let him go.
The fourth was my best friend. She was my closest friend. If she told me that, she like my boyfriend, too. I can give way. They didn't need to stab me behind my back. Why did they cheat on me? I did nothing wrong.
I loved them but, they didn't love me enough to stay faithful.
And, the last one was Sebastian. The man who was like a wind. He entered my life, and like a wind, he left without notice.
Guys didn't know anything other than to hurt me.
I didn't even know his full name! How could I find him? Was I just his pastime? He told me. He promised that he'd stay by my side. That he won't follow Dustin's footsteps. That he won't leave but, in the end, they were just the same. They were a liar, a promise-breaker.
I hold on to his promises, the reason why I'm still waiting. I'm still hoping that one day, he'll remember me and show himself. Even if he just came back to bid goodbye. It was more than fine than to let me keep waiting for him when he knew himself that he couldn't give me what I want.
I left the Cafe when I was done eating.
I sat at the swing in the playground. I watched the kids as they run around to play. Sweats are all over their body but, they didn't mind it. Others were with their housemaids, while others were with their parents.
Before, I was with Basty when I watched these kids playing. We dreamt together. We dreamt of having a happy family. I dreamed it. I dreamt of having a happy and complete family. I was an orphan so, that was my biggest dream.
But, now, I only want one thing. I want to see him again for the last time.
I was lost in my own thoughts when I saw a little girl crying. I stood up and walked towards her. Pale skin, long and curly hair, small and pointed nose that turned red because of crying. I kneeled in front of her so I can level my gaze at her.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
She looked at me innocently. She stopped crying and wiped her tears using the back of her palms.
"I'm lost" she bit her lower lips.
I looked around to see if a guardian's looking for their kid but, I saw no one. I gaze back at her.
"What's your name? I can take care of you until we find your parent," I suggested.
Slowly, she smiled before looking at me. She analyzed my face. I can't help but laugh at her cuteness.
"Why are you laughing?" her forehead creased.
"Nothing. You're just cute" I widened my smile.
"I'm not cute. I'm pretty because my mother is pretty" she rolled her eyes.
I chuckled. "Okay, beautiful. Tell me your name."
"My name is Addison Lux Cortez."
"Your name is as beautiful as you."
She smiled widely at my compliment.
"Thank you," she said shyly. "How about you? What's your name?"
"I'm Sachi Amora Lopez."
We shook our hands. I brought her to Lav's Cafe. She didn't have a phone. Thank goodness! She memorized the phone number of her father.
She was eating ice cream in front of me. I couldn't help myself but adore this beautiful kid. I'm sure that she'll grow up as a kind, beautiful and successful woman. I just looked at her until she finished the ice cream.
"Want more?"
"No, I'm not allowed to eat more than one stick of sweets. I might lose my teeth."
"Who said that?"
"My Dad. He always said it whenever I want more. I love him so, I do what he thinks is right."
"Where's your Mom?" I asked out of curiosity.
She remained silent for a moment. Her silence made me more curious.
"She's gone. She left us years ago" I can see the longing in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," I apologized.
I know how it feels. We were young when we lost them. We didn't deserve that but, it was our destiny. We couldn't change it.
"It's okay. She's gone for a long time. I'm used to it. And, please, don't apologize if it wasn't your fault."
"You sound like a grown-up woman."
