"What did you say?" asked Fu Xiangbei, whose hand trembled as he held the ring. Obviously, he did not expect that I would have the courage to break up with him.
"I... I want to break up!" I said it again with courage.
"You've had too much to drink," he replied.
Fu Xiangbei lowered his voice and strode toward me.
I instinctively took a step back and said, "Don't. I didn't drink too much."
I only took a small sip of liquid courage. It was a good day. I didn't want to have to break up too.
He left me no choice. He wanted to marry me.
I had been scared over the past few years.
Fu Xiangbei's whole family were professors. He had just graduated and now worked in a research institute.
As for me, I had taken the college entrance examination three times. I finally graduated but was forced to go for my further studies.
I failed my first master's examination, so he punished me with homework all night.
After the second failed master's examination, he asked me to stand against the wall and recite the textbooks. If I did something wrong, I would be beaten to death.
I was an adult, so I had my pride too.
Whenever I resisted, he would report it to my parents.
My father was a well-known upstart in our area, and my mother was a typical wife. She was too satisfied with Fu Xiangbei as her son-in-law. When she met people, she would say that her daughter and boyfriend were doctors, regardless of whether they wanted to hear it or not.
In short, they treated Fu Xiangbei's words as the truth, so I didn't have any human rights.
"Why?" he asked. Seeing that I was very resistant, Fu Xiangbei finally stopped moving forward.
"There isn't a why," I paused, clasped my hands together uneasily, and looked at him carefully. "I just don't think I'm good enough for you," I continued.
"Look, you're a great scientist, and your whole family is full of intellectuals. I'm just the daughter of an ordinary man, and I'm a college graduate with three resits. I failed twice in the entrance exam," I lowered my head and said in a low voice.
"I don't care," he sighed and raised his hand to touch my hair out of habit.
I dodged.
"But I do," I replied. I pursed my lips and suddenly felt so wronged. All these years, in order to catch up with him, I had almost lost myself.
"Yes, I admit that it was I who first came to you and said that I wanted to become better with you. But now I regret it and don't want to work hard anymore. Just take me as a commoner and let me go," I continued.
Fu Xiangbei looked at me quietly. There was no emotion in his eyes.
I lowered my head in embarrassment.
"Are you sure about it?" he put the ring into his trouser pocket and asked me calmly.
I held back my sadness and nodded.
"Alright."
With that, Fu Xiangbei turned around and went back home, leaving me alone in the restaurant.
There were steaks and burning candles on the dining table.
Today is my 24th birthday. He wanted to propose to me, but I screwed it up.
But I don't regret it.
After tidying up the dining table and the kitchen, I was ready to go back to pack my things.
The house has two bedrooms and one living room. He rented it so he could supervise my studies at any time.
When couples lived together, they would either whisper sweet nothings to each other or cuddle.
Fu Xiangbei and I always practiced for the next test and memorized textbooks.
We spent eight years in love and lived together for five years. I only kissed him three times and touched his body once. I touched him while he was asleep.
Was there a girlfriend who failed harder than I did?
My boyfriend had it written on his face that he had no interest in me!
Just like that, I wasted eight years. I was such an idiot!
