"I can't do this," I say, as Serena and I walk toward the front door of Sebastian's party.
Serena cuts her eyes to me. "You can totally do this."
I'm a twenty—two—year—old virgin. Tonight that changes.
I spent all afternoon scrolling through the ridiculously small number of men on my phone. Danny, Alan, Gavin, and Pat. None of them are great options to accomplish the deed. Danny is too short. Alan is too nice, and I think has a girlfriend. Gavin is hung up on Serena, and I don't want to sleep with him so that he can make Serena jealous. And Pat is not an option for so many reasons. But I need to find someone. Hence, why I'm attempting to get into the most exclusive party of the year. To find Mr. Perfect. I will not graduate from college next month still a virgin.
Who am I kidding? I once thought it mattered who the guy was. I wanted the ideal guy, to be in love. I wanted flowers and a sunset, followed by wine, candles, and a man who adored me and wanted my first time to be special. After four years of dating and no guy coming close to the picture I painted in my head, I'm desperate.
I want sex.
Maybe my first time won't be fantastic, but then I can experience a second or third time. And eventually, I'll meet a guy to give me the toe—curling moment I only dream about now.
I stumble again in my heels, and Serena takes my hand and rests it on her arm. "Well, you can as long as you don't fall flat on your face first." She chuckles. "Although, if you fell and showed the bouncer you aren't wearing any underwear, we wouldn't have any trouble getting in either. So, it doesn't matter what you do."
I glare at her. "Well, that wouldn't work because I'm wearing underwear. And I would like the school to not think of me as a laughing stock."
"Who cares if they do? We graduate in less than a month, and you won't have to see any of these people ever again."
I take a deep breath, letting the air fill my lungs before slowly exhaling. Serena's right. I can do this.
We strut, arm in arm, up the long driveway to the door. We get behind a group of loud girls chatting excitedly. I recognize them. They are in a sorority, and no doubt were invited. They are all in short, expensive dresses that accentuate their bodies and show how much money they are from. They don't flirt their way in. They are invited in.
We are next, and my stomach is doing flips. My legs are shaky, and not just because of the heels my feet aren't used to being shoved in. My heart is fluttering a million miles a minute in my chest. I should have taken a shot with Serena before we came.
"Name?" the tall man asks.
"Serena Toomer and Larkyn Day."
He scans his list, not bothering to glance at us. Our plan isn't going to work.
"Your names aren't listed," he says.
"Let's go," I whisper to Serena.
She ignores me, looking past the bouncer, who won't be seduced since he won't stop staring at his clipboard.
"Sebastian!" she shouts.
My eyes widen in fear. "What are you doing?" I hiss.
"Getting you in so you can get laid."
Sebastian turns in our direction and grins at us goofily. He doesn't know either of us, but Serena smiles at him and his eyes drag over my low—cut dress, and suddenly he's walking our way.
"Hey!" Sebastian says, and my heart sinks. I bite my bottom lip to keep from drooling. He's hot in his dark jeans and buttoned down shirt, which is open at the top, revealing his muscular chest. All he said was 'hey,' and my body reacts like he said the most charming pickup line. I need to get laid, so I stop fawning over every guy like this.
"Hey, we aren't on the list. A mixup, I'm sure. Any possibility you can change that?" Serena asks, shoving me forward, so my body brushes against his.
I'm going to kill her for this later.
But it does the trick. Sebastian's eyes glue to the cleavage the dress makes me appear to have, and then down to my abs, defined beneath the material.
"Absolutely!" Sebastian holds out his arm to me, and I nervously take it. I cut my eyes to Serena who winks at me as Sebastian leads me into his house.
"I'm sorry you weren't on the list. I don't know how I missed a beautiful woman like you. I wish we had classes together so I could have noticed you earlier."
I bite my lip and blush. "We do take a class together. You are in my marketing class." I don't add we did a group project together last year in finance, and he has been in almost every single one of my classes starting freshman year since we are both on the same business track.
He doesn't blush or show signs of embarrassment. I wish he would have noticed me before or realize who I am. I know his name and who he is.
"What's your name?" he asks.
He grins. "I love that name. I'm Sebastian King."
His smoldering blue eyes look at me, and my heart is his. I don't know how I ended on the arm of Sebastian, basically the king of the popular crowd, and I know that soon, he'll be leaving me alone to enjoy his other guests, but I'll remember this moment forever.
"Can I get you a drink?" he asks.
I nod, knowing this is when he dismisses me. I look hot, but I'm not hot enough. I'm wearing a nude colored sparkly dress, but it's not slutty enough to compare with the women skirting around us in dresses that are so short they can't wear underwear. Their dresses leave no curve on their bodies to the imagination. While I, I just hope this dress is enough to snag one decent looking guy that isn't already too drunk to fuck me.
Sebastian leads me over to one of the bars and gets me a white wine without asking what I want. He gets himself a beer. I start peering around for where Serena is so she can help me find a guy for the night.
I feel a hand on my waist and glance down to see Sebastian's hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
"Do you have a date for tonight?" he asks, leaning down to my ear so he can talk to me over the loud music blasting through the house. The band is out back, and we are in the front of the house so I can only imagine how loud it is out back.
"No," I say, taking a sip of my wine, so I have something to do with my hands, and I can stop blushing. The wine tastes overly sweet. I don't often drink, caring too much about staying healthy, but when I do, I rarely choose wine.
"Good, I needed someone to hang out with tonight."
Yep, now I'm blushing again like an idiot. I need to stop getting so affected by this man. I've had a crush on him since forever, but that doesn't mean anything. He's just being nice. He won't be the guy that pops my cherry. Even though I should be searching for that guy, I can't pass up an opportunity to spend some time with Sebastian first.
"You don't have a date either?" I ask, finally getting my voice back.
He looks down at me, his eyes lingering on my cleavage. "Now, I do."
My heart stops. Sebastian did not just say that. I must have misheard him. He's the most popular guy at our school. He can date any woman he wants. He's fucked most of the popular women. He doesn't want me to be his date.
But the way his hand grips my waist, as he starts leading me outside, it seems I heard him right.
Eyes. That's all I see when we walk outside, where the band is playing by the infinity pool. Everyone's eyes are on me. The guy's eyes rake over my cleavage and smirk at Sebastian approvingly. While the women alternate being glaring at me and giving Sebastian a sweet, come—here look.
I swallow, trying to get the lump in my throat to go down, but it's no use. I'm not in my element. I don't do parties. I don't hang out in crowds. I don't like attention. I prefer running down the road by myself with nothing but my playlist to keep me company.
Sebastian ignores the stares and leads me over to where a group of his friends is hanging out drinking their beer and wine around a cocktail table.
He greets them, but never takes his hand off my waist.
"And you are?" one of the women to my right asks. Her voice is much too high. And she chugs her wine in one motion, before she looks at me again, as she makes a noise in her throat that sounds like a threatening growl.
"This is Larkyn. She's my date for tonight," Sebastian says, pulling me tighter into his body, so I get a whiff of his cologne. It's a strong scent, and it seems he used too much, but it doesn't matter. He's still appealing no matter how much of the stuff he uses. Especially, when he keeps calling me his date.
The woman scuffs and signals the waiter for another drink. The three men standing around the table all chuckle in unison like they know a secret I'm not in on.
Sebastian glances behind us. "Dance with me."
"Um…" I don't get a chance to say I don't dance. That I've never danced. He takes the last swig of his beer before taking my almost full glass of wine from my hands and sets it down on the cocktail table.
His hand moves to the small of my back as he leads me to the dance floor. My body feels hot as I gaze around at all the other people on the floor grinding their bodies together. It doesn't look like dancing. It looks like sex.
My eyes stare up at Sebastian's as he stands in front of me and starts moving to the music. While I stand frozen. I don't know how to dance to this music. He doesn't seem to notice. Instead, he grabs my hand and gently pulls me to his body. He twirls me around and grabs my hips, pulling me to his body, so my back presses against his front.
His hands guide me, as his body sways to the music, and I do the same. Our bodies glide together to the beat of the music. I don't know what to do with my hands, but I find them running over his, which glue to my hips.
I spot Serena out of the corner of my eye. She's dancing with her boyfriend. She must have snuck him in.
Tonight is going to be a good night, even if nothing else happens. Dancing in Sebastian's arms, I can pretend I'm his. Pretend I live in a world of popular kids with fancy cars. I can pretend this is what I want. And who I am.
"You smell incredible," Sebastian says, grinding harder until I can feel the strain of his erection against my ass.
I blush. I can't take a compliment.
I want to turn and look at him, but I don't dare. My knees are already weak enough. If I turn and see his blue eyes staring at me like he wants to devour me, I'll lose my mind. I'd probably melt right here. Merely disappear into a puddle on the floor. Or worse yet, he might kiss me, and I'm afraid the act of him sweeping his tongue into my mouth might be enough for my body to orgasm. Here, in front of everyone.
He needs to stop the public displays of affection before I lose it.
He doesn't listen to my inner turmoil though. Instead, he makes it worse, by nuzzling my neck. And then, yep, I'm going to lose it, he kisses my neck, running his slick tongue across my sensitive skin.
My knees buckle, and he catches me in his arms, tightening his grip around my waist.
He chuckles. "Don't worry; I got you. I'm used to women getting a little weak around me."
My cheeks are bright red now. He's cocky, but I don't care. Usually, I would hate guys who say shit like that. But not guys who are as hot as Sebastian is. Not when he's holding me tightly against his hard body. I'm especially intrigued by the hardness, which continues to push roughly into my ass. Every time I move, it grows larger until I'm terrified, but also desperate, to feel the slick beast inside me.
Sebastian King could be my first. And that petrifies me. He could ruin me for all other men. Because it's not like he will stick around after the first night. Not when he realizes how inexperienced I am in bed.
He starts kissing my neck again, and my eyes close, enjoying his touch and trying to forget about everything else. Who cares that this won't last? I didn't set out tonight to get into a relationship. I set out to find a guy who wants to fuck me. And Sebastian King wants to fuck me.
"Want to get another drink?" he says suddenly against my neck.
He chuckles again.