Vivian had less than ten minutes left.
She'd snuck out of class to make it to him early and now she might be running late already. Ugh she really needed to see him. This might be the only chance she got.
A glance at her watch confirmed her worries. 12:00. She blinked hard and pushed on harder but it seemed the lockers had shifted locations. Further further further. Damn it! What if he leaves before she's able to make it to him?
Finally, oh finally she got to her lockers and heaved a sigh of relief. A smile pushed up the corners of her lips. Now all she had to do was apply a little lip gloss and go to the one guy that made her feel like her stomach was filled with bubbles, tickling her from the inside out. The mere thought of seeing him soon made her cheeks bright.
With shaky fingers, she opened her locker, only for piles of torn and shredded notebooks to tumble out. Her breath hitched and her throat grew tight at the sight of the drawing glued to the metal walls. It was an ugly, crude caricature of her distorted and exaggerated with cruel words written all over it. Not again.
Closing her eyes, Vivian sucked in a shaky breath and snapped them back open. This wouldn't deter her. It's just a stupid prank and later she'd clean up the mess. Right now, only one thing was important.
Ignoring the twinge in her chest, she reached for the chapstick and just when her fingers curled around it, she heard them.
"Well, well, what do we have here?"
Vivian felt her heart drop and she froze, shaking and all but convulsing on the spot. Not now. Not now. When she was so close to…him!
Maybe….maybe if she acted like she couldn't hear them, they'd leave her alone? Okay
Breathe. Hiding the small object in her fist, she slowly withdrew her hand from the locker, attempting to turn around.
"Oh fattie! How do you like these photos? Don't you think they look like you? Even your caricature has tummy rolls!" A group of students immediately surrounded her.
She trembled.
"I…I… please I don't want any trouble. You guys please leave me alone. You can have whatever you want but please leave me alone." Her fat frame shook as she sobbed like a kid, which only amused the group further. Not even once did the thought of talking back at them occur to her. No that would be a death wish. The cigar burn wounds on her stomach were still fresh, thank you. Besides talking back might be a delay. Time wasn't on her side. He might leave.
"What are you holding?" Someone in the group asked and Vivian tried to hide it tighter but flinched as it was knocked out of her grip.
Her heart tightened as she watched it fall to the ground.
"Ooh! Finally taking care of those ashy lips." Vivian's eyes watered when one of them raised her booted foot and crunched the chapstick under her.
"Please let me go." I don't want to miss this chance. She added silently.
"Sure! You can go now!" The girl who seemed to be the leader suddenly conceded, folding her arms. Her eyes looked extremely bored as she looked at her.
Vivian was stunned. She couldn't believe it.
Glancing at the girl's expression, she wanted to ask again but one didn't kick the gift horse in the mouth.
Thus, she left before the girl could change her mind.
But before Vivian could take a step, she saw a malicious smirk appear on the girls' faces and before her brain could process, Vivian found herself on the ground, nose catching on the hard tiles.
Pain exploded in her skull and sobs filled with anguish escaped her. Why did she think they would let her go…? Just like that? Yet, all Vivian wanted was to get up and go meet him before he left or before he saw her on the floor like this. Forget the blood clogging her nostrils. Forget the pain… He was the only thing that mattered.
"Everyone, look. Fattie can't handle her weight! Her legs couldn't take all that torture called a body anymore." The girls pointed at Vivian, who was crying on the ground and couldn't lift her heavy body.
"No wonder! She comes from a cursed family. Imagine being an obesed idiot who can eat the whole school and still having a crippled imbecilic brother who's as useless as her, with a stupid father who gambles and drinks."
"Oops!"
"Look at that!"
Out of nowhere, a booted feet came into view and slammed right into her stomach. Vivian screamed, helpless and weeping on the floor. Then it was sneakers. Slam. Her thighs. Her stomach.
"Let's help you kick those fat cells out." Slam. All Vivian could do was cover her head and remain on the floor as they continued to beat her.
More laughters echoed in the hall and through her periphery, she saw many of the students start to pull out their phones, the cameras flashing as they probably took a video. No. No. What if he saw?
Her sobs intensified. It felt like all the years of bullying had come crashing down on her at once, and she couldn't fight it anymore. Because of them, she might never get to see him. She cried harder.
Maybe they'd stopped hitting her but Vivian was unaware. The throbbing pain was a companion she could never get rid of, drowning her in it's intensity with no way out. She could feel random objects being tossed at her to make her lift her head head, but Vivian kept her face still hidden.
Ding! Dong! It echoed through the entire school.
Saved by the bell, literally.
Slowly, the students began to disperse. Throwing one last fruit can on Vivian, the girls also left.
She was alone. She was alone. It took the third repeat for her to finally understand the concept of being alone. She could now get up.
Breathing and heaving hard, Vivian struggled to a seating position on the floor and rocked herself out of her panic attack.
Today was her birthday. Her 18th birthday to celebrate her journey into adulthood. But this was the worst day ever for her. No different from other days, but no one could blame a girl for dreaming of something better. Just for once.. on her birthday at least.
Picking up her cellphone, she looked through the list of her birthday wishes.
Her eyes stung with tears when her eyes landed on her first wish- to bravely confess her feelings to her long time crush, who always defended her from the bullies. This was her last year in school and probably the last chance she'd ever have.
And with that thought, She'd finally gotten the courage to text him this morning and he'd agreed to meet her by 12:10. But…the time was already 12:15. Her Hockey star crush couldn't possibly be that patient to wait for someone like her. Vivian was at the bottom of the highschool food chain while John the top-dog. He was the popular millionaire's son every girl wished for.
And besides, she couldn't go see him to confess when she looked like this. Beaten and Bleeding. It would make the fact that she was way out of his league too glaring.
Suddenly, her phone jarred against her, making her jolt. Brows knitting, she glanced at the flashing screen and it was…
–Where are you? Don't keep me waiting for so long.
What?
A new text. From him.
Vivian's chest rose with hope. He wanted to see her too! Maybe it didn't matter she was beaten. She would tell him! Slowly, her face brightened and like a girl possessed, she struggled to her feet and headed for the rooftop.
As she made her way up the stairs, Vivian cleaned the blood from her nose and confirmed that it wasn't broken. All the while wondering if John had little hidden feelings for her the way she does. Well here goes nothing.
Out the door. And he was really there, back turned to her.
Breathing in and out, she shyly made her way to him.
"Hey." She greeted, tucking some strands of hair behind her ear, and then looked down, biting her lips.
He turned to face her and her heart stopped at his shockingly handsome face.
"Hey." John's eyes twinkled as usual making her heart skip. "You wanted to meet? What's up?" He tucked a hand in his pocket and everything he did, seemed to mesmerize Vivian the more.
"I…" she paused, clearing her throat. Her face was burning. "John, please listen. I'll be quick. Ever since I set my eyes on you, realized how nice you're to me by saving me from all these bullies, I've come to know I have feelings for you. I mean… you're a wonderful—"
"Woahhh! Hold up! You have what?" John's face dropped. He looked stunned.
"Feeli—"
"Shh!" He waved her off, his face scrunching into one of disgust. "Look I don't know who's giving you these crazy ideas…" he laughed. "But I've never had any feelings for you. It's not possible. I can't even dare to. Saving you that day was simply a mistake. A disgusting one."
Vivian's face instantly fell. Before she could open her lips to talk, she felt movements behind her and turned only to see the leader of the group who always taunted her. Her face paled and she took a step back.
The girl was a famous cheerleader. A pretty one. Her painted lips curved maliciously as she took steps toward Vivian, who looked like she was about peeing on herself.
"Look who we have here, girls! The fattie!" She sneered. Scrutinizing her.
Vivian stared behind the girl, and could see about 15 girls who all had cruel expressions on their faces. She was just the prey here. She gulped fearfully.
"I heard today's your birthday right? Happy birthday fatties!"
Vivian was shocked. She turned to John who held a smirk on his lips. She didn't need anyone to tell her who had revealed her birthday to these bullies.
"Shall we? Come have your cake!" The cheerleader beamed, bringing out a little cake from a box, stretching it for Vivian to take.
Vivian who didn't want them pissed off, plastered a smile and walked to take the cake only for the girl to loosen her grip from the box. "Oops!" She grinned as the cake made a beeline to the dirty ground. Splatter.
Vivian gasped.
"Now go down on your knees, pig, and lick up the cake. Make me repeat it, and see how you're going to hurt! Now!" The girl yelled.
A sob escaped Vivian, she shook her head, wanting to run before John held her, pushing her back to the girls who manhandled her, pulling her by her hair and forcing her face to the ground.
Eat!
Eat!!
Eat!!!
They all chanted, forcing Vivian who began to cry and thrash, pushing her face into the dirty cake and forcing her to lick it clean before releasing her.
Not wanting them to say or do any more cruel things, she raced without looking back, down to her home which wasn't far from the school.
But home was the main hell. Her father, George was already home and waiting for her. As usual.
Vivian froze.
"Come here, you dumptruck." Her father held two whips and a pepper spray, ready to destroy her body. "Who the hell did you think would prepare my meals when you decided to come home so late? Or is it that your imbellic brother or your hawklike useless mother? Come here, you fucking ugly bitch! I'll make you regret ever coming into my life!"
With no one to come to her aid, her father as usual had his way, even after explaining to him. Beating the hell out of her, leaving her almost lifeless and not caring if she died or not. After all, she was useless to him.
Vivian laid sprawled on the ground after, her body bleeding and boiling as she stared up at the ceiling in a daze.
What was life anyway?
Right from when she had been born. Life had been meaningless.
There was nothing to live for. Her crush didn't want her. Her father thought she was the cause of his bad luck.
Unwanted.
Unworthy.
Useless.
Ugly.
A moan rose up in her throat as the words danced in her head. Useless.
Death was the best solution, where she could rest in peace and never have to think she was a burden. A fat burden.
Slowly lifting from the ground, she moved to the kitchen to get a knife. Staring at it, her lips twisted in bitter smile before she drew in a long breath and slit her wrist.
Again and again and again and again and again.
Yelping, she fell to the floor and the blood flowed out of her in a steady stream..
Minutes turned to hours before her body went still.
Vivian was finally gone.
