It is an unpleasant day. My parents just passed away. It just happened suddenly. I was with them but I can't remember. Even when I try my head aches as I recall the events. It was too much for me. At the police station they interrogated me to no end, as I kept repeating myself that I have no recollection on the back seat of my parent's Honda civic. I wish I knew, so the perpetrators can pay for what they did. But I didn't. I was disappointed and angry at myself, that I can't even...sigh.
The feelings of despair consumed me each passing day of my loss. I cry myself to sleep, the trauma haunts me that I always hold into the sliver cross necklace, that my mother pick out for me in a jewelry store before the car accident happened. We were Christians. She believed that as long as I pray, no evil or karma will befall on me and my family. and the cross was just like a rosary that I can hold into as I pray. I always believed of a supreme being watching over us, and blessing us. It was how I was raised. God-fearing. But now I was still scared. Now being all alone, since I wasn't really close with any of my relatives. My parents never mentioned them, they only brought up close friends from time to time, but never related ones. I really didn't know the reason, even when I brought up if I had any cousins they would just dismiss the idea and change the topic. I was a bit ticked off about it, but I trusted that it has a reason on why they wouldn't say anything about it. But when the accident happened they were the first ones to know about it.
Profound fake sympathy was given to me like candy. I accepted it cause what choice do I have. I am now an orphan. If I don't accept the pity and mercy of the strangers that I now call my 'uncle' and 'aunt'. Who will take me in? Will I be safe in a stranger's house, and how is that different from living with the one who killed my parents? I was in harm's way. I didn't know how to protect myself. I was wide open and vulnerable to any attack. All I could do is to accept any help I could get, cause truth be told, I was still a child. I didn't know any better. At least if I were feed, clothe and given shelter plus all my needs, I could live. But my 'guardians' also had the option to send my to an orphanage, but they didn't. I assumed they had a heart, since news about the orphanage is very bad. Worst. Care takers were abusive. Food scarce, not enough to go around. Children, were said to be bullies and beat up kids to pulp. The orphanage was very greedy that all the necessities were ignored.I didn't want to end up there. I dread it. It was one of my fears.
After the funeral, I found myself in my aunt Rench and Uncle Baxter's home. I met them at day of the incident at the police station. It was a hazy memory. The police contacted them. My relatives. Since my parents are now dead, I have no where else to go. The female police was a kind woman, she smiled at me and carried me in her arms like she was my mother. She cheered me up, and told me that I was very lucky that she found me first. That their might be someone who wanted kill me if I was found alive by them. I got chills just hearing it from her lips. To think that that the accident was intentional and planned. Made me super mad and frustrated. My parents were good people, sure they made a fortune of the position as the CEO and heiress of the leading companies called Luo Corp. and Fing Industry. The company was built on blood, sweat and tears that were shed, that was once a small clothing store, that sky-rocketed into a mall extravaganza. Since the trendy clothing design were designed by my mom and her colleagues that were newly graduated from fashion designing. My mom made me model all her new released designed. As they sold out as they were released. Business was booming.
In this new home, I felt it wasn't as homely and warm. It was very polished and cold. It gave off a crude and cruel impression that it was only for lovers, not intended for any kids to live in. It wasn't kid friendly, it had sharp and edgy corners. But they gave me comfort supplying my every need with plastered forced smiles that give me chills. I knew that in some way or another they didn't want me here. I didn't see any photos of kids in their living room. "Do I have a cousin?" I blantly said to them. "We tried but we weren't blessed with any." Uncle Baxter replied putting his hand on top of his wife's palm. I was sad, and lonely to not have a cousin to play with. As I put my head down, I can feel their stares that burned through my skull. It was unnerving. It was uncomfortable to be stared at. It made me cry as I stared back at them. They felt a pang of guilt and they stopped looking at me creepily.
'I want to get out of here'
I had a bad gut feeling in the pit of my stomach that made me barf. My new home wasnt the place I belong. I longed for the acceptance of a real family. As I try to fit myself in some where it doesn't belong like a penguin fitting into a hurdle. It was a cute attempt, but unless someone snuggles behind you. You don't belong there. Same goes with families, if you give them love they have to love you back. At my case, I'm still waiting. I will keep waiting, cause I am too vurnerable to be picky and chosy. So I wait, for something...anything.
It was the beginning of Christmas,
"Dear, we've got something for you?"
I rushed to their side, as I took curiousity of what it may be. I wished it was a teddy. But as I opened it, tearing it wrapper to the side. As I unboxed very impatiently.
I was scared. Lost. I felt simply alone.
But I was only 6, I didn't know that a simple written name on a price of paper would lead to me losing my parent's inheritance.
It was a grave mistake on my part.
I regretted it.
Now, I am just an unfortunate girl. An homeless orphan left on the streets because I was tricked.
