My sister and I have always been put under a microscope. As good Christian children, we happily wore our floral dresses, prayed together and sung our hyms together. We were taught that way. Our mother was on the face of things seen as cold and silent. But thats was what our father wanted the church to see.
Our mother was actually kind and her demeanor would shift, she gave us freedom whenever she could. Shed tell father we were going to a Christian book store or a goodwill and food shopping. It was the only time I saw my mother lie. She would take us to the library out of town. When I saw her read she would smile, genuine bliss and peace stretched across her lips. Not a smile of force, like the ones she gave the church people or like the one our father would receive which may have been the only other lie she would commit maybe she was better at it than I thought.
I remember finding myself wondering the books and coming across a book that seemed missed placed, it didnt have a library sticker on the spine or backcover. It seemed old and had beautiful patterns and what seemed to be ingraved words in different languages all over the cover. Despite how old it felt it was still solid. I looked around and see if there was someone I could talk to about it. It was locked. Wondering if maybe they had the key put away.
My sister came around the corner bored of reading, and tired of roaming the internet. She had met some boys who were far older than 12 or 13. I was only a year older than my sister. But I think she had a read a book she shouldn't have or seen something too early in life because the way she acted with them flirty and touchy. I wasn't interested or impressed.
"Hey Delilah, so mom had to leave for a bit to get groceries other wise dad would suspect something. She said she'd be a bit. Do you wanna go with these guys" she poinred to the "boys" much older the she and I, high-school students maybe? one of them licked their lips and looked at me. I know why they both looked into me unlike my little sister I have already shown signs of maturity. All three signs were obvious. As I was deep in my embarrassment Janette got closer to me and whispers "they have weed and alcohol and that they live across the street! Let's go! I dont want to go alone?" Her eyes it was the first time I'd seen her look excited. I shook my head yes and softly said to her
"I wont do the drugs ill just stay until I say we should go okay?" I believe she was turned off by my response her eyes and face grimace and displeasure on the tip of her tongue.
"Delilahs gunna be the party proper are ypu sure you want her to come?" Her eyes rolled as she turned away from me.
My hands gripping to the book, I then made my decision to shove the book into my bag. Seeing as everyone in my family held onto secrets and lies, maybe I could finally join on ob the fun.
"Delilah, no need to be like that! Wont pressure you into anything cross my heart." The dry lipped one jokingly responded he then chuckled and shrugged. Hooking his arm around my sister. I felt scared but didn't care Janette wanted to do this so I let her make her choice. I'm only going to make sure nothing bad happens to her.
We arrived to there small apartment, they weren't lying when they said it was across the street. As I looked around my mind truly wanted to focus on the book it felt like it was calling to me. But I cant take it out here janette will pick on me for obvious reasons.
As I silently sat on the couch the room was filled with banners and posters, I noticed a recurring theme, the colors and name, Lancaster University. These two creeps weren't high-schoolers.
I got up starling my sister and the crusty lip boy.
"Whats your deal?" He shouts trying to pick up the spilled weed from the floor.
"I-I um... where's the bathroom?" I looked him in the eyes hoping maybe I could recover from being a anxious clutch. Wasnt sure if seductive eyes were something I could do but I was trying. The other guy behind me plops a few drinks onto the table next to me he points to the right where a door tightly sat next to the cheap tv entertainment center. I grab my bag, feeling the book within it. Pushing my self hard to wait til I get home. I turn and walk to the door and enter quickly shutting the door behind me. The bathroom was actually clean-ish, cleaner than I thought it would be. I grab the book the leather is cold to touch and the lock mechanism even more so, i go to grab the twist on it, but no luck. Still thw book stays locked, i shove it back into the bag 14 year-old me defeated, head reasting in my palms. Janette knows on the door, she toys to whispers but was seemingly to forget that whispers are quite.
"Hey idiot hurry up in there, they can smell if you poop in there!"
"I'm not pooping" I said in frustration fist clenched at my sides.
" then why are you taking so long?" I got up in an instant jolted the door open and pulled her in.
"Janette, we shouldn't be here thwyre in college, i thought they were like high scho-"
"I KNOW isn't it awesome?" She was mocking me her expression was sarcastic, her tone even more saturated in sarcasm. "Omg how are you older than me, how is it that you get the big boobs and curvey hips, how can you get all of moms great features and i just look like dads sister a walking funking plank!"
shes now yelling in the small blue and white bathroom, it felt like the world was silent. No sound not even the tv... had the creepy college guys turned it off. "How about you go back to the library hm?" She grabs my face and looks into my eyes "tell mom I left or at a friend's house and you don't know where I am, or I'll let her know you stole the fancy library book." She goes to reach for my bag that's crossed across my body. I pull back my anger written across my face.
"Well will ya look at that the kitten has claws. Just get out. And don't be a fucking snitch!"
I push out of her way i can hear her scoff behind me as I pass through. Crusty boy and the shorter guy both looked disappointed.
"Wait your leaving cant you two work it out or something?" The one who needs some chapstick stands up and looks as though he were going to come after me, but my sister laughs as she exits the bathroom.
"Look let her leave, she nothing but a prude virgin." She looks at me smiles and turns to the guys. " if she leaves now the sooner we can all have fun!" I turn and rush out the door. At that moment I didn't care about what my sister did, she seemed like she didn't so at the time I thought why should I.
