Sitting on the hospital seat, my hands are moving in full speed on the laptop's keypad.
"Your speed is very good." The nurse attending my father complimented me.
"Thank you." I smiled back.
"Education?"
"No, job." I answered and focus back on my work. I have to complete this before tonight's deadline. Sometimes freelancing workload sucks up all of my energy. It's more tiring than any other job I've worked. But this is life, and this is the only way I can earn money. So it's best if I quit complaining.
This is my way of life. Quit complaining and find a solution or stay patient and believe in Allah. It makes things easier and keeps my head at ease.
"How much of work do you have left, Hira?" Baba
father
asked in his weak voice.
"It's almost done."
"Go eat something beta
child
, you haven't eaten anything since morning."
"Okay, going... Just a few more minutes."
"No more few minutes. Get up now."
"Okay." I said but didn't move.
"Are you going young lady, or should I get up?" He threatened me and it made me chuckle. Baba only scolds me on my eating habits. I don't eat on time.
"Okay. Okay going...." I say and put my laptop on the seat.
"Do you want anything?" I ask him and he shook his head in negative.
"Okay! I will be back in a few minutes... Please take care of my precious treasure." I said to him looking at my laptop.
"One day I will throw this garbage out of my house." He said angrily.
"Your daughter will die without it Baba." I sighed dramatically.
The nurse chuckles and Baba mention me to go by lifting his hand towards the exit. I mouthed him 'okay' and walk out of there. The canteen was not far from here, so I slowly walk to it. Hospital is not a place where you can have a proper meal but it's not like I have any other option.
I come here with Baba twice a week for his dialysis. He said to me many times that he can go by himself but I refuse every time. I don't want to leave him alone even for an hour, so I stick to him like a sticker everywhere he goes except his friend's house, which is boring. He is the only family I have and the fear of losing him makes me go mad. I know that death is certain and when the time comes it will take its prey whenever it pleases, leaving others a void in their life.
I have felt that before, on my mother's death. She died in front of my eyes. All my prayers to Allah got unheard. I kept waiting for a miracle that was never bound to happen. Being an emotional, stupid teenager, I blame things on fate and got angry at Allah for taking my mother away. But Baba helped me to recover from it and when I saw him working hard for me, I try to find my strength and lost faith in Allah. As time passes, the smoke of stupid emotions faded away, as I step into practical life a lot sooner than others and I see other blessings of Allah that I never thought I had. I tried my best to change myself, I tried to see things from a different angle and I did, successfully. But the thing is... I don't believe in happiness anymore...
After all these years, once again I am feeling that fear again. Fear of losing someone dear to me, so I am helplessly trying to get a hold of what is slipping from my hands - My Baba's life. And I cannot do anything about it besides praying.
"Earth to Hira?" I snapped out of my thoughts when Dr Ambreen waves her hand near my face.
"Han...? Oh... Sorry. Assalam o Allaikum, doctor." I smiled.
"Wallaikum Salam. So lost in thoughts... Everything okay?" she asked worriedly.
"Yes! Just thinking about my mother." She gave me a sad smile and patted my shoulder before leaving.
Most of the staff of this ward knows me. I have been coming here with Baba for a long time and had been watching and hearing about others' problems, illnesses, and loss. It makes me feel down and emotionally draining. I sighed and took a bite from my biscuit. Standing on the first floor of the building, I was looking at the garden in front of me.
Putting both hands on the railing, I took another bite from my biscuit and a sip of juice. Suddenly, my phone vibrated and it fell from my hand. A yelp escapes my mouth and I quickly look down and saw a man massaging his head. He looked up to me and I yell 'Sorry'. Bending down, he picked my phone and look at me again. Almost running, I reach to that man. He was still massaging his head.
It must have hurt badly.
"Aa! Excuse me?"
He raised his head to look at me.
Wow! He is handsome...
"I am really really sorry about that... It just slipped out of my hand. I didn't do it on purpose." I start explaining myself without delaying him.
"It's okay." He said politely.
"You sure? You were massaging your head when I came. It must have hurt a lot."
"Yes, it does... But it will be fine." He said, handing my phone to me.
"Thanks...and are you sure it's okay? I can take you to the doctor if you want."
"No, it really is fine."
"Okay. Sorry once again and thanks for returning my phone... Allah Hafiz." I said.
"It's fine. Allah Hafiz." He said and we both start walking to our destinations. But before climbing up the stairs, I turned around to look at him once again. He was leaving the main door, wearing a navy blue dress pant and a light indigo coloured button-up shirt, which sleeves were half folded. His wavy black hair is shiny underneath the lights. He looks like a model or something. Oh well...
"Sorry for your injury, beautiful stranger."
I smile and start climbing up the stairs.
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