I keep on roaming in this lonely house,
I can’t ask life from my heart which has already died,
Wherever I look in this house it is beautiful with beautiful scenery,
But there is know from whom I can borrow a smile from,
The fairytales that mom told during childhood were all lies,
I have some untold letters which I have to send to God, but I don’t have blood that can be used as ink.
I am so much addicted to pain that I have lost my sense, I am in such a world that I can’t ask for death from life, nor can I ask for life from death.
Is this the sin of past life that I am suffering or that no one even cares.
That is it I have to run, I have to get out, I have to inform my parents that the person they married me to is a monster, They thought they have chosen a Prince for me but in reality, they have chosen a devil, who is making my life miserable.
I need to leave, I owe to myself to at least try, with determination I push the door open of his house, luckily it is not locked this time, I ran out what I did not notice is that the security guards saw me run and started chasing after me but I have to run if I have to inform my parents of my misery. I run through the deserted road with the guards following me. I have passed the roads and now heading towards a bridge, I can see a car approaching from the other side of the bridge, that is it I can ask help from him, just a few more step Sia, you can do it. You will be free.
But the moment a man step out of that Mercedes car, I am filled with dread, fear, every fibre in my body is afraid of him. Each step he takes toward me is making me lose all my determination, my life. I know now no one can save me.
“Relax Sia, how many times have I told you not to go jogging at night, did you see the time, it is 11 pm at night, common let go inside the car” with this he starts taking me inside the car, I know he only said this so that guard doesn’t get suspicions. For others, he is the perfect husband, the perfect man any girl can get married to. I wonder how come the guards do not notice that I am scarred no not scarred but terrified of him. I can only pray to God that he will be gentle this time but I know in the real world miracle doesn’t come true.
The moment we reach his house he stops that can and like a gentleman goes out of the car first to open the car door for me.
House is where you should feel safe but for me, it is a torture chamber.
“Jaan,” the moment I hear the voice of my husband, I cling to my seat in fear. He calls me Jaan which means life, but he is the one who is slowly taking life away. I don’t know till when can I survive.
But he is not even affected that I am scared, he sweetly tells me “we have arrived at our house, let go, what are you thinking so much, I promise if you want to run we can run together tomorrow”
I know I am delaying the inevitable, I step out of the car, I hiss in pain as I have bruised myself from running barefooted earlier. When I was trying to escape earlier I did not notice that I forgot to wear slippers.
Hearing me his in pain, he is concerned and start scolding me that why did you run barefooted. He picks me up in his arm and enters the house so that I don’t feel any pain while walking.
“Did you remember, Jaan after marriage when you first came to our house, I picked you up like this only in my arms and carried you to our room, But what did I know that you will make me do this every time while entering the house, But you know what I don’t mind, now you sit here and I will get medicine for you”
He loosens his tie and removes his tie and head toward the kitchen after putting on some romantic music. I know now it is useless to run as he must have made sure that all the doors are locked with the keys with him.
He comes back from a kitchen holding rope and cloth piece, He ties both my legs together and both my hand behind my back, to make sure I cant scream loud he ties my mouth with the cloth piece. No matter how much I beg him to leave me or to set me free he doesn’t listen. It is like all the plea for help is going in his deaf ear.
After tying me to the sofa, he gets on with having his dinner peacefully, No matter how much I cry he is unaffected.
Having no strength left in me to scream, I close my eyes and sob and silently waiting for my doom.
“Jaan, I have got you medicine”
Life leaves my body as soon as I see what’s there in this hand, He is holding the Iron scare with a wooded handle with a sweet smile on his face as if he is doing nothing wrong, The scale is burning hot, it is still rest and I can see the smoke evaporating from it.
No matter how much I try I can even move an inch, my leg, my hand are all tried.
“No, pls No, NO, NO, NO………………” I keep on screaming but he pays not head and grabs my legs. As soon as the hot iron rod touches my legs is can't help but scream in agony.
“Jaan, Is it paining, why do you make me do this, you know right if you leave me, I can’t stay alive for a day, I am scared of you losing you,” he says like he is pained to see me like this. But the next moment I feel the Hot Iron connect to that other part of my toes, I can’t help but scream in agony. All I see is black in front of my eyes and soon I feel myself losing my consciousness from the pain.
The next morning I am awoken by sunlight falling on my face, I notice that I am on the bed with my hand still tied behind my back and the cloth still covering my mouth. I notice that he is holding breakfast in this hand. He moves towards me but I am even terrified to do anything.
The moment he touched my legs, I hiss in pain. The moment he hears me he quickly gets medicine and starts applying it to my wound on the flesh that is burned
“The medicine can be applied on your wound but what about my wound, it is not even seen, my heart hurt when every you try to go away from me” it looks as is he scared of losing me.
“Promise me that you won't leave me ever” He is asking this to me while applying pressure on the wound and I can’t do anything but nod in pain, because I know if say anything else he will hurt me more and I want him to leave my legs, he is hurting me.
He is happy when I nod.
“Good Girl, now you go get freshen up and I will make tea for you.”
With difficulty I stood up and headed toward the washroom limping in pain, He tried to help me go to the washroom but I moved away from him in fear, I have to get away from him he will hurt me.
I am standing in front of the washroom staring at myself in the mirror, all I see is pain and death, not even a spark of life. Trying to find a girl who was full of life and use to daydream of finding a husband who will love her most in this entire world
“SIA” He shouts from outside.
I hurry up not wanting to anger him more.
“Where are you, I have told you not to spend more time in the bathroom, what were you doing”
“I, …… I” I shutter trying to from word, no matter what I do I can’t speak a word in front of him.
“OK, Ok, He says calming himself down.
“See I have made breakfast for you beautiful wife” He made me sit on the bed and gives tea to me, but before I can take a sip he said “how is it”
I can only nod in approval, with my shaking hand I drink my tea trying not to anger him more.
“I have to for an important meeting, won't you say all the best”
“A… All the best” with great difficulty I manage to say so that he leave from here at the earliest.
“And one more that I am locking the door from outside and there is robbery happening in the city and I have to take precaution”
“You know I don't want to go away from you if the work was not important I won’t have ever left you alone here.”
As soon he heads out of the leaving room I take a sigh of relief, I spot our wedding photo on the side table near our bed. I can’t help but stare at it, after all, it was the last photo in which I am smiling and it was the last time I have ever smiled.
