She thought there was no problem but she was fully wrong because at the same time as she neglected to keep the man, she neglected to let her heart fall into it. Now, how will she weigh her mind and heart if she's against himself too? She thought of staying the man away but her heart said otherwise. It wants the man to stay with her.
***
Hope Quinn was diagnosed having a
DID
or Dissociative Identity Disorder. A rare condition in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present and alternately take control of an individual. Some people describe this as an experience of possession. Everyone avoids her because of it. Alone in life and had no other dream but to lose her in the world. She was used to everything especially to alienating the people around her. She didn't want to hurt everyone in her surroundings and add more problems. But there was a man who did nothing but stay by her side even though she tried to stay away from him. The man said he wanted to help her, staying by her side and insisting on what he wanted until she could do nothing but let it go.
How long will she keep away from the man who keep insisting? And when she neglected to do what he wanted? Is love conquer at all in battle of life? Find out.
PROLOGUE
"B-But you promise me, you said you would never leave me --- You wouldn't hurt me --- That you wouldn't stay away. You said, you're always here next to me right?"
"Haha, are you kidding? Promises are meant to be broken ---"
"But you said you won't break it!" Theo stared at me coldy that made me gulped even more. Tears kept flowing down my cheeks. The pain kept spreading. in my chest. The bitterness is slowly coming back.
"Yeah, but didn't you also say that it depends on the person?" I seemed to be weakened by what he said. clenching my fist. I'm trying to stabilize my knees that are weak now.
"B--But didn't you also say, that you don't depend? It's up to you whether you destroy or want to leave ---"
"That's the point, I want to leave you. I'm so sick of you. I can't live with you anymore, can you hear? I want to stay away so I'm leaving and I'm leaving you!" I became increasingly weak especially when he passed me. I sobbed and slowly turned to him, I thought he would at least turn around. But no, he left completely. The man I love has left me.
"T-Theo .." I can't believe, how did we end up like this? I fell to my feet and trembled to be held in my mouth. I shook my head, it's not true. He won't leave me. Maybe he has a reason, I know Theo. He's not like this. I strained and stepped my feet running where he passed but I saw nothing.
"Theo! T-Theo! Theo .. Don't be like this." I remember our happy memories. I can't give up now, not in this place. I close my eyes tightly and try to calm my system down. I feel the onslaught of my pain again. Happy memories was filled with darkness, laughter was replaced by suffering and the smile was replaced by strange sadness.
"T-Theo, don't stay away please. Don't leave me, I need you. I can't fight if you're not by my side. I beg you my love. Don't be like this. You said, you will stay by my side and you will not walk away from me like the others. But what happened? Why did you stay away from me? Why did you leave me? Why --- When I already love you, when I already believe in you, when I'm used to your presence then you just leave me and stay away as if nothing happened? You even broke your promise. Why Theo? W-Why? Why!"
My heart was full of anguish and pain. I didn't know what to think, was it because of my condition? Or was it just because he really wanted to hurt me? And at that thought, I felt weak. I felt like I had lost my temper. My Life, little by little the negatives spread in my mind. It was like a deadly poison that slowly spread throughout my system. I closed my eyes tightly before holding my head. I turned my head to the right and to the left because of a strange pain.
Voices, and pains. ”Ahhhh! S-Stop! Stop!" I shouted, I tried to remove and stop them but nothing.
It just kept going until I could just feel the liquid dripping from my nose. I don't want to, that's enough. I don't want to! I don't want to feel it anymore! Stand up! Me and I struggle against the voices and the memories keep recurring, the bad memories of the past come back again.
"Argh! Stop! N-No! I hate it! Stop! S-Stop!" Little by little darkness covered my whole being! But I shouldn't give up now! I can fight it! I can! I clung to the railings that I could see before taking a deep breath and calming myself but if I could then because someone would guide me.
Someone is always there for me. There was only one person who stayed by my side. The man did not stay away but strengthened me. But the man also ruined everything. To destroy the resilience I feel. The man gave hope but that hope was still missed. He stay way and left me.
"T-Theo! Ahhhh! Stooop! Please!" I can not take the pain anymore.
That's enough, but the pain I'm feeling got worse. The voices grew louder and louder. The bad memories kept swirling around so much that I could do nothing but scream and faint forever. My grip gradually loosened as I backed away and stumbled over something. I don't know what's going on yet. The speed of events. I could feel the wind surrounding me and me falling hard into the water. In a river, I fell.
"Theo .. H-Help." I slowly sank.
I feel the still water. The loss of air, the constriction of my chest and the coverage of water in my whole system. I slowly woke up and at that time, I felt my end. I smiled bitterly, the tears I could hardly feel anymore.
This is what I wanted since then and from the beginning, death is the answer to everything. Answers to things I don't want to fight anymore. Run like I can't stand it anymore. Death, the death I have dreamed of ever since. But because of him, because of the man I love. I tried to fight, be strong and be survivor.
He was the light in my dark world. He gave me hope. Hope that also slowly disappearing right now because he left me and he is no longer beside me. He shunned me like everyone else. The closing of my eyelids was my complete disappearance from the world. But only the name of the man I love is on my mind and heart.
With my last breath I forced myself to say his name. "Theo Zenick Ares .."
