~Chloe
I'd never do this, this isn't me.
It couldn't be me. I was the responsible one. The one always prepared. Always early and on time. On weekdays, I worked my butt off at the dinner and on weekends, I stayed huddled up in the book store down the block.
That right there was the plain autobiography of my life. It was both pretty basic, plain and simple and I was the last person you'd expect to worry about an accidental pregnancy. I'm the last person you'd worry about getting pregnant so why me?.
Three words.
I. Fucked. Up.
Wind back to one month ago at Ava's bachelorette party. It was never my plan to go and see a bunch of cocks but Britney being the persistent friend, she didn't take no for an answer.
"There aren't gonna be naked cocks. It's just a strip club not pornhub Chloe". She reasoned taking off my glasses.
And just like that, she dragged me out of the comfort zone of my very small apartment and made me put on a skimpy black dress that made look like I'm part of the people I dreaded at this point.
Britney had pushed me into the domain of ripped men, pole dancing, hip grinding, booty shaking. Give it few drinks or two and I was tipsy not drunk and not exactly sober either and to worsen my situation, this stranger in a dark suit kept staring at me with intrigue.
He sat alone at the bar and fuck, even if I held his gaze, he still looked at me, one eyebrow arched and the corner of his mouth lifting in a sexy smile.
I'd spare you the candid details but I won't be doing Justice if I didn't point out how hot he was.
This man was a walking sexual fantasy and I took pleasure in gawking at him. He was fit and toned and had a body made for sex. The kind that could turn me into a complete dolt. Oaf. Fool. Moron. Nincompoop. You name it.
He was like a devil disguised as an angel to give an upright girl impure thoughts. An upright girl just like me. He might have been the devil himself and that night, I'd been his number one victim.
The memories manifested slowly, every details flooding back like a heavy flood.
He approached me on the dance floor, handed me a shot of tequila and then leaned into me.
"Are you here with anyone?".
My eye brows rose with intrigue. "And why are you asking that?".
He looked at me for a second or two and then his lips twisted with excitement. "Because I want us to go to a bit more private place and I don't know if there's anyone to worry about".
Okay, normally this was way too forward for me. He made his intentions clear immediately. What do two grown adults do in private?. I'll tell you what- we fuck!
And I didn't mind being his fuck puppet for the night.
And so we left the club, finding ourselves in an hotel room too drunk to care about anything else but the heat of passion sizzling between us.
He slammed me against the bed, his lips fusing to mine, his hands running down my skin, fingering out my first orgasm, and by the time he'd gotten up, rid himself of his pants and ripped a foil paper with his teeth, I'd already been lost.
He'd driven into me so hard that my eyes rolled back from sudden pleasure- so intense that I'd turned mush against the bed but he elevated me back up and went in again. Hard. Slow. Fast. Deep. In between. He pleasured me with his fingers, his tongue, his dick and when it was all over, I collapsed onto the bed, breathing out heavy breaths.
Granted, it had been the hottest sex of my life. But what we're the odds that after having sex for the first time in months, I'd wind up... pregnant?.
It has been over two months since I hooked up with him and frankly, I couldn't remember every detail, except for the ones I tucked away in my memory bank for safe keeping and only revisited on lonely nights when it was just me and my.... you know... vibrator.
Aww you know what, maybe it was just a coincidence. I just needed to stop thinking the worst.
My period had only been delayed by a month and six days. No biggy. I had irregular period flow sometimes. It was due to stress. It had to be stress, there was no way I was pregnant.
I was only overreacting and this test was going to give me the piece of mind I needed but it popped up with a big fat negative. Counting to five in my head, I turned to the counter full of tests. I'd flipped them all upside down, not wanting to look at them until the full amount of time had passed. You didn't need to tell me. I know this is crazy. Taking so many texts and I till couldn't believe it but I was a realist and had to be sure if there was a tiny life force inside of me or not.
My front door opened and the flung shut.
"What is so important that you made me leave work and drive all the way over here?" My best friend Britney waltzed into my apartment, speaking as soon as she stepped in.
I rushed out of the bathroom to meet her.
"So glad you're here, I've been freaking the fuck out".
"What's wrong, what happened?".
"We'll...". I pointed at the closed bathroom door.
"I need you to look at something for me in there".
She stared at the door and then swung her gaze to me. Giving me a questioning look. "I'm sorry Chloe but I'm not gonna look at whatever mess you made in there".
"Ew, what the fuck? No!"
She sighed with relief. "Well then, what?".
"Just come see." I pulled her with me and led her into the bathroom.
"There". I let her in and pointed to the pregnancy test lines on the counter.
Long seconds dragged on as she stared at it then at me. "What the hell is this?".
I bit my lip. "Just look at it and tell me what it says please".
Again she glanced between it and then me and then said "okay, hold up, is there something I'm missing. Why the hell do you think I might be pregnant?".
"For starters, I just figured I didn't bleed last month.... and the one before that".
"Isn't this too early for you to start peeing on multiple sticks? I mean it's natural". She shrugged.
"You stress yourself a lot".
"Trust me, I wanted... I so wanted that to be the case but this is different. It feels different." I pressed a hand against my chest and cringed a little. "My boobs hurt a little and they look bigger".
"Sore breast could mean you're about to start your period". She sighed.
"It doesn't!" I panicked. "Please just check okay..."
"Fine." She rolled her eyes at me and narrowed it to the test. "God.... I can't believe I'm about to do this".
Reluctantly, she took a step forward and turned my back to her, not wanting to accidentally see results.
I nibbled on my lip nervously. For whatever reason, I felt certain that I would take the news better if it'd came from her. So I stood there and waited for her to either save my life or ruin it but the more she stayed silent, the more I got anxious. "Please put me out of my misery and just tell me what it says".
At this point, I couldn't tell if the lump in my throat was from the nausea or panic. Probably both.
"Chloe". she called me.
"You're pregnant....."
Ohhh no no no no no.
I held my breath.
"It’s positive".
My heart sank as I turned to swiftly face the test results staring at me. "I'm pregnant... I'm really pregnant?".
It felt as thought life has been sucked out of me. I hurried my head in my hands.
I was really pregnant... for a... oh god. I didn't know anything about him. Aside from his name and he fucked good, I didn't know anything about him. My mind had began to imagine the worst.
What if he was already married with a beautiful family...
My heart felt like was going to break out through the safe confines of my rib cage. I sniffed but it didn't work. Tears burned my eyes and I brawled.
Britney sat beside me and patted my shoulder. "You need to calm down. You're freaking out for no reason". Now that was laughable. I sniffed and pulled my shirt up to wipe my nose. "At this point, I think I'm allowed to freak out. I fucked a stranger I met at a strip club and I don't even know why a man like that was at a male strip club in the first place".
God, I was such an idiot.
"Wait, are you saying that super hot guy who talked with you at the bachelorette party is the father of your child?"
I felt sick again. "It sounds worse when you say it out loud".
"But I thought he used a condom, I mean you said he did".
"He did. I'm sure he did. I mean when I woke up the next morning, I saw a used condom on the floor". I turned to him. "Britney?".
She waited for me to say more.
"He's the only guy I've slept with in months".
"So what's gonna happen now?, are you keeping it?".
My chest felt tight.
God, I've never been so confused and conflicted in my entire life.
I didn't want to get rid of it but I didn't want to raise it on my own either because taking care of my own needs was enough struggle. I couldn't even afford my own rent talk more of a baby, and the only thing keeping me from landing on the streets is my job.
I took a sharp breath in letting a few tears fall. "I don't know what to do.. I don't".
"Oh Chloe, what ever decision you make, I'll be here for you". Her arms went around me. "If you choose to let it go, fine. If you choose to keep it, great. You'll be a perfect mother and the child will turn out amazing".
"You think so?". I sobbed out hugging her tightly.
"I know so". She smiled. "Now can you please stop crying".
I bawled put even more tears. "Thank you Britney".
"Don't thank me. This is what friends are for".
I sniffed and wiped my face with the back of my hand. "Where do I go from here?".
She took a huge breath. "Well I'm no pregnancy expert but I think you should let him know".
"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I don't know who he is or where he is".
"I'll get his info for you"
"How are you going to do it?"
"I have a friend who knows someone who does these things." She got up. "I think you need some time to come to terms with this. And it's probably best if I leave you alone while you do so." She held my hand and squeezed softly. "I'm only a phone call away okay? If you need me, I'll be here, but for now, maybe a little quiet time will be best."
1 sniffed and nodded. She made a logical point.
"Thanks, Britney, Thanks for coming over. I probably wouldn't have gathered enough courage to check what the stick said. I love you."
She smiled grimly. "You're a smart girl, I know you'll figure this out. And I love you, too."
Once the door closed behind her, I headed into my room, flopped onto the bed, and cried my eyes out.
