Joy's POV
For me, dreams should always be present in our lives. I believe that all of us who live here are born to get what we want and to achieve what we desire. Every second that passes is critical. So you have to make the most of your time, because we don't want to regret it later.
At the age of 18, while looking for the right path as a student, I was given a blessing as I worked as a babysitter for the Dritter family, one of the richest families in our country, for almost a half-year.
Every morning, I had to take Anna, a six-year-old baby girl, to her school. Taking good care of her, keeping an eye on her activities, and providing her with love that her parents couldn't provide every morning because they were all too busy with their work in the business world. My responsibilities as a babysitter always come to an end in the afternoon. Because Madam Carmen, Anna's mother, usually came home to take her work in their home and to keep an eye on Anna since my school hours were in the afternoon.
It was true that being a working student was hard. Your time, your day... Everything about a working student's life is different from the normal ones — not a working student. But I should strive more because my future always depended on my hands. When I strive, good things will come. But when I don't, good things will never come and the bad things will come instead. I also need to show the parents of Anna that I am really loving the work that they gave to me.
Yes, I should. Because once there are things that they disagree about my doings, aside from my work, my scholarship that I worked hard for years will have to end. Actually, meeting Madam Carmen was already a blessing for me. Because of her, I could continue striving for my dreams. Madam Carmen gave me a scholarship to one of the famous and prestigious universities here in our country.
It was a privilege for me as a poor and cheap girl to have a chance to study here at Fredgey University. But every time I should have to socialize with the students here inside the campus, I felt ashamed of myself. It was like I was a beer partying with whiskeys at one table. Fortunately, I knew how to place myself.
"Hey!" Criselda, my best friend, shouted as she hit the table we were sharing in the canteen. It was like the students taking a break here inside the canteen were keeping an eye on us. I felt ashamed. "Are you listening?"
"H-huh?" The only word I could say because I didn't pay any attention as she talked about something.
"Of course, she's not." Andrew rolled his eyes and took a sip of juice in his glass.
I almost bit my lip that time. It seemed that my mind was flying again that's why I couldn't notice that they were talking.
"So what's that all about?" I said.
"Aish. I was talking here so long, assuming that you are listening but actually you're not! Is your mind flying again?" Criselda's tone was terrifying.
"Of course. That's her hobby." Andrew smirked so I made a glare at him telling him that he should stop extending Criselda's anger.
"I'm sorry, Cris." I held her hands. "I was just thinking about the things I should do when I get home later. You know me. For me, time is gold. I should not waste any time on useless things."
"That's the problem!"
"That's the problem?" I repeated what she just said. What's the problem with that?
"Because you're abusing your body."
"Abusing? My body?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. You worked a lot every day, and as we see you every afternoon here at the university, you look like the ugliest duckling in the world," Andrew said as he still keeps on sipping on his bottled juice.
"But where is abusing there?" I questioned them. "I am just striving for my dreams. What's the problem with that?"
"Dreams, dreams, dreams. Okay. Let's say that you 'ACHIEVE' your dreams today and you're emotionally alive but your body is already asking for a heal because it is physically dead. What will you do then?"
"What will I do then?" I thought it to myself. It was like I was in deep thought after hearing those from Criselda.
She's right. Maybe... she's right.
"Look, Joy. We are just worried about you. About your health. Also, take a look at this." She paused for a second and gave me her phone that shown pieces of information to read.
"Congenital Insensibility to Pain?" My eyebrows met as I read it clueless in front of them. "What's about that?"
"Congenital Insensibility to Pain or CIP is a rare condition where a holder of that kind of sickness cannot feel any pain... Physical pain to be exact."
"Okay... So why are you telling this to me right now, Cris?"
"Damn. I hate it when our friend is so slow." Andrew winced. "Of course, Cris is telling this to you because she is assuming that this disease is the disease you are having right now. For your information, girl. This bullshit, Cris went on our house last midnight showing this Congenital Insensibility to Pain things, and of course as we are your concern citizen, we consumed our night to look and to research about that disease." What? Did they really give their rest time last night for me?
"Yeah." Criselda nodded. "And for additional information, CIP patient's life is shortened every time they are hurt. We are just concern about your health. We know that you cannot feel any pain every time you hurt yourself. You know that every time you hurt, you are feeling okay. But until when?!" she exclaimed. "In the first place, we don't have any idea about that feeling. We do not know if not feeling any pain is a gift or not. So you must better take good care of yourself. Love yourself. Are we clear with that?"
I was doomed to hear those warnings from my friends earlier at the university. The energy I used to have every day that I always used for striving has seemed not yet ready to activate. I am worried about my future. What if, Cris and Andrew were right? What if, I really have a disease called Congenital Insensibility to Pain or CIP? What if my life is being shortened every time I hurt myself? What will happen to my dreams?
As I do remember, I was a six-year-old back then when my parents discovered that I cannot feel any pain every time I got myself hurt. For my parents, it was like a riddle because that ability was completely strange. My father thought that maybe, it was a rare disease but until today, we still don't have an answer because we're not capable to let me go to the hospital.
We're just poor. And we should prioritize our basic needs before getting myself a check-up in the hospital, because we assumed that time if this was really a disease, it will just make our family's life harder.
I completely understood why they chose to did that instead of prioritizing my health. I'm the eldest among the siblings. So I should better understand them or else, a big problem will come on us.
It was exactly 7:00 PM when I got arrived at our house — I mean, in the mansion of Dritter. I started living with them since the day I started working with them plus they are sustaining my education needs, and let me have free food and water. When I entered the mansion, I noticed that the living room was completely a mess. Maybe Madam Carmen is here and she brings again her work stuffs here in their mansion.
By putting a glance at the mess, I could tell that Madam Carmen had a stressful day. There were lots of paper on the floor, cups of tea, unorganized files, and many more. So I slowly stepped my feet way to my room because I didn't want to interrupt her. Walking to my room, I suddenly felt someone grabbed my arms.
"Auntie Janna," I whispered when I saw her grabbing my arms. "Is there any problem, Auntie?"
"Yes." Auntie Janna, the main maid in the mansion, nodded. "There is. There is a big problem."
"W-what is it?" Asking her, I immediately imagined that the problem that Auntie Janna was saying was all about me. Of course. Why would she tell me about the problem when I'm not connected to it? I bit my lips. I hope it is not really a big problem.
"Just go to Madam Carmen."
"Madam Carmen?" I repeated. So I was right. The mess that I saw in the living room earlier was from Madam Carmen. She's already here.
"Yes. Madam Carmen is currently staying in the living room. Maybe, you already saw the mess there, right? She's been in a stressful situation today so you better watch your words while talking to her, okay?"
Suddenly, I became nervous about what Auntie Janna said. Watch my words? Why should I watch my words? I mean, yes. It's a must because I'm her worker and she is my boss. The only thing that made me nervous was the 'problem' that Auntie said.
Walking gently in the living room, I saw Madam Carmen lying on her table. Maybe she's really having a hard time with her work. Maybe there's a problem with her business.
But... What have I got to do with it?
"Oh. You're here." I was shocked when I heard her talking. How could she make me see while she's lying her head on her table?
"Yes, Madam." I slightly bowed on her as if she would see me doing this. "Uhm. I heard with Auntie Janna that there is a problem. You called me to come so I want to ask why are you asking for me, Madam?" I made a faked smile. I have this feeling that there are things that will happen so bad. "Do you want me to clean the mess you've, Madam? Do you want tea, foods or anything—"
"No." She lifted her head on the table, and now that she's facing me, it was like that I was running for death. The way how she looked at me, the way how she massaged her temples, it was like there's a big — I mean a HUGE problem that I have got something to do. "Have a seat," she said tonelessly.
Watching my steps to the papers messing on the floor, I sat on the couch facing her. I couldn't read her mind at that time. She was just staring at me for many minutes sitting in front of her.
Is her problem being solved by just staring at my face? I pressed my lips together while looking at her eyes. What does Madam Carmen want to say to me that she needed to stare at me for a long time first?
She took sharp breathing. "Joy..."
"Madam?" I immediately responded. But Madam Carmen just paused in speaking and started to stare at me again.
I found it uncomfortable. Was there dirt on my face?
"Joy..." she spoke again. But this time, it was colder and toneless. "I know how very important your work is, right?"
I slowly nodded. "Yes, Madam."
"By working here for almost a half of year, I've noticed that you really love my daughter as if she is your sister. Am I right?"
I nodded. "Yes, Madam."
"And for your education. The scholarship that I gave to you. I've also seen the hard work you did just to have it. You deserve it." She plastered a smile on her lips.
"Uhm. Yes..." Clueless, I nodded again. I was just there agreeing with the things she was saying. But, why is she telling it to me?
Looking at how tired her eyes were, she took heavy breathing again. "The decision I will make today is not easy for me, Joy. You know how you are very important to me, and especially to Anna. But..." she paused for a minute. But what? What does she mean? Oh. Jeez. This situation makes me tremble.
"I'm sorry, Joy, but..." She gave me a frosty look. "You're fired."
