Eyes wide open in the middle of the night, Ludo was horrified with whatever bad dream she was having. She tried to move her head but to no avail. She could only move her eyes. She could see most of the things in her room but couldn’t reach for them. She usually slept with her bedroom door open. She tried to scream but her voice failed her. The more she tried to move, the difficult it became. She felt a presence in the room and became even more afraid. Her eyes shifted to the door in hopes of seeing her mother coming to her aid. She saw an ominous shadow at the door peeping. In seconds, she felt a weight pressed against her body that she failed to breathe. Her body was paralyzed and there was no way to fight the paralysis.
“Ludo!” Her mother shouted entering the bedroom.
Ludo saw her mother sitting beside her but she still couldn’t move. Her mother just sat there and watched her.
“Mother,” Ludo whispered after relaxing.
“You are awake?” she reached for the pillow and moved Ludo’s head.
“It was happening again mother,” Ludo dropped a tear.
“I saw it baby,” Ludo’s mother said.
“Mother this is not sleep paralysis,” Ludo complained.
“It is Ludo.”
“But i saw someone peeping at me from the door,” Ludo said.
“How many times will we go through this Ludo?” Her mother asked. “Those are just hallucinations that come with sleep paralysis.”
Ludo looked away.
“We have done countless research on this. I’m your doctor, you know. Now go back to sleep.”
“But mom.”
“Ludo!” She stared at her.
“Do you think I’m cursed?”
“No Ludo.”
“I hate this sleep paralysis. On top of that i also have....”
“Shhhhhhh,” Ludo’s mother cut her.
“You are not cursed; you are just like everyone else. You are special.”
“Where is dad?”
“Not back yet.”
“But it’s 2am?”
“Rest Ludo.”
Ludo looked at her mother go as she covered herself with the blankets. It took her sometime to fall asleep. When she finally did, she slept like a baby.
Last day of school. Ludo thought to herself and sighed before opening the school gate. As she walked to the terraces, she thought about how much she endured from the bullying both from her fellow pupils and teachers. Her peers used to say she was strange especially the fascination she had with cars. She was glad high school was coming to an end. She had timed reaching the exam room slightly late so that she could find everyone settled in and concentrated on their examination papers. She reached her examination classroom and before she could knock, said a silent prayer.
“Come in!” Mrs. Visashi yelled from the inside.
Ludo breathed heavily. She looked at herself. She hated her uniform. She never liked the color yellow especially with it’s combination with green. She composed herself and entered the classroom.
“Weirdo is here,” a young boy whispered.
Everyone laughed.
Ludo looked at the boy and smacked her lips. He wasn’t worth it, she thought to herself as she walked to her seat.
“Everybody be quiet! Mrs. Visashi shouted. “Exam in progress.”
Ludo looked at Mrs. Visashi and admired her. She envied how she was always in control especially when handling pupils. Ludo wanted to be like her someday but with her condition which everyone knew about, she was made to believe she couldn’t amount to anyone, especially Mrs. Visashi.
“Late again?” Mrs. Visashi smiled walking to Ludo.
Ludo nodded.
“Better start writing now,” she handed her the exam papers.
Ludo perused through the paper and knew she would ace it. It was her favorite subject, Literature. She was marveled by the nature and scope of literature. She also loved reading.
“Time up, pens down!” Mrs. Visashi shouted.
All the pupils dropped their pens on their tables without hesitation. They knew Mrs. Visashi all too well to act otherwise. After collecting all the papers, she had one final talk with them.
“This society you are going to will be all sorts of things to everyone. Some of you will find it easy and some difficult but all in all, it’s all about attitude towards whatever comes your way,” She paused and looked at them one by one. “This is where life as adults starts and you have to start making decisions like adults.”
“But we are still young,” Melanie whispered.
They all laughed.
Mrs. Visashi looked at Melanie who avoided her gaze.
“It’s high time you all decide what your life will be especially in terms of careers.” Mrs. Visashi Said.
“Madam, talking about careers, i would like to know what Ludo has in mind,” Melanie looked at Ludo.
Ludo shook to her core. All eyes were on her and she hated attention.
“Tell us Ludo, what do you want to do after this?” A boy asked.
Knowing Ludo, Mrs. Visashi calmed her down by asking her in a polite way because the class wanted to know.
“I want to be a writer, “Ludo whispered.
“We didn’t hear you!” Melanie shouted.
“Don’t be shy Ludo,” Mrs. Visashi smiled.
She took a deep breath and repeated herself, “I want to be a writer.”
It was as if a wave of laughter had tickled everyone. They laughed so hard that Mrs. Visashi’s voice couldn’t be heard on top of the laughter.
“What can you write weirdo? You are mentally unstable as it is,” Melanie laughed.
“She will write about cars,” another pupil added.
In that moment of uncontrollable laughter, Ludo became uncomfortable. There and then, she had an aura and her eyes widened. She looked at Mrs. Visashi. Mrs. Visashi knew what was about to happen because she had been put in charge of Ludo at the school.
“Quiet!” She ran to Ludo.
Ludo’s eyes were fixed on Mrs. Visashi. Her stomach felt strange, but not the usual strange. The feeling rose to her chest. Her face flushed and before Mrs. Visashi could reach her chair, Ludo fell on the floor hitting her head in the process. All the pupils stood up with their hands covering their mouths in shock. This wasn’t new to them but this time, they all knew they had provoked it.
“She’s having a seizure, stay back,” Mrs. Visashi yelled.
Ludo’s eyes had turned white and foam was coming out of her mouth. She was jerking and convulsing. Everybody stood back with the boys moving chairs and tables away from her. They all watched in silence and terror. Melanie was shaking and dropping tears.
“Everybody out!” Mrs. Visashi dismissed them.
They all left for the door looking back at Ludo laying on the floor unconsciously.
“Except you Melanie, stay!”
Ludo found herself on the floor feeling tired and weak. She looked up and saw Mrs. Visashi standing with Melanie.
“What happened?” She asked.
Mrs. Visashi knelt before her and asked, “How are you feeling?”
“My head hurts,” Ludo answered. “It happened again right?”
Mrs. Visashi nodded.
“Melanie come here you help me stand her up.”
“I don’t think i can stand up madam,” Ludo said softly.
“Take your time my dear.”
“I’m sorry Ludo,” Melanie apologized.
Ludo only looked at her.
“You can now leave Melanie,” Mrs. Visashi said.
Ludo remained with Mrs. Visashi.
“Have you called my mother?”
“She’s on her way.”
“I’m sorry madam.”
“Don’t apologize sweetie. You don’t have any control over your seizures.”
“This time I had control,” Ludo said.
Mrs. Visashi didn’t understand what Ludo said.
“I was intimidated by them.”
“You shouldn’t let people intimidate you. They also have their fears but they don’t show them. All those people who bully you only succeed because you let them. Your fear feeds them.”
Ludo shrugged.
“You want to be a writer?”
“Yes madam.”
“That’s an awesome profession,” Mrs. Visashi smiled.
“You don’t think i can do it?” Ludo looked at Mrs. Visashi.
Mrs. Visashi shifted uneasily.
“I knew you don’t believe in me. Nobody does.” Ludo said with teary eyes.
Mrs. Visashi smiled and held Ludo’s shoulder and sat beside her. “I believe in you but what’s important is do you believe in yourself?”
“I do.”
“That’s what matters. As long as you believe in yourself, everyone’s opinions don’t matter.”
“Do you think so?”
“I know so.”
“I have written a lot of short stories which i haven’t shown to anyone.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“I would love to read them.”
“I’m excited about the new story i thought of.”
“What is it about?”
“It’s about the most notorious crime family in Zambia.”
“That sounds interesting.”
“I don’t know where the idea came from but each and every day, it grows stronger,” Ludo smiled.
Mrs. Visashi never saw Ludo smile frequently but she knew in that moment that writing made Ludo happy. She noticed how Ludo spoke of it.
“Where’s my daughter!” Ludo’s mother shouted from outside.
“Mom there,” Ludo rolled her eyes.
Mrs. Visashi laughed.
Ludo’s mother entered the classroom and found Ludo seated on the floor with her teacher.
“Ludo baby how are you?” She asked slowly running to her.
“I’m fine mother.”
“Let’s go home now,” she lifted her up. “Thank you Mrs. Visashi,” she looked at her gratefully.
“It’s alright Zamiwe,” Mrs. Visashi said. “Ludo,” she called her.
Ludo looked back.
“I would love to read the story you are working on some day,” Mrs. Visashi smiled.
Ludo and her mother walked out of the classroom and went to the car which was parked outside the wall fence. Leaving the school, Ludo knew this was the last time of being there. She had even planned on not coming to get her results. She had it all planned out, her mother would come to get the results.
“I think the medicines are not working,” Ludo’s mother said after settling in the car.
“You are my doctor,” Ludo fastened her seat belt.
“I will have to visit the hospital after dropping you home.”
“Is dad back?”
Ludo’s mother flinched.
“Don’t answer, I know,” Ludo leaned her head against the window.
“We still love each other. It’s just circumstances.”
Ludo didn’t look at her mother.
They got home and both went to their bedrooms. Ludo got her seizure journal. She opened it and sighed.
“Here we go again,” she said.
After writing in the seizure journal, She thought about her idea of the story and grabbed her MacBook pro and before she could start, her mind went blank.
“Stuck again?” Her mother asked standing at the door.
“I write better when you are around,” Ludo said.
“I know but i have to rush to the hospital. Your seizures are worrying me. I’m suspecting your condition is getting worse.”
“It’s always been worse mother.”
Ludo’s mother left her in the bedroom. Ludo loved her mother wholeheartedly. Not only was she a mother to her but also a friend whom she could confide in. She even loved her more because ideas would flow whenever her mother was around. The story she was working on was difficult to write without her mother’s presence.
Ludo fell asleep on her bed and was awoken by her father’s voice. She opened her eyes and he was standing in front of her.
“How are you baby?” He asked.
“I’m fine dad,” she yawned.
“I heard you had another seizure.”
“Yes but it wasn’t that serious.”
“All seizures are serious baby. Where is your mother?”
“She has gone to the hospital.”
“Okay,” he looked at Ludo’s laptop. “How is our story coming up?”
“It’s difficult to write without mom,” Ludo frowned.
He laughed.
“I’m serious dad.”
“Well, she will be back. I have bought you something. It’s in the car outside.”
Ludo ran to the car while her father followed her. She opened the car and found a medium sized box in the front passengers seat. She looked at her father.
“Open it!” He told her.
Ludo opened it and found a brand new laptop in it.
Surprised, Ludo looked at her father once more.
“I know you have another one but that is old,” he grinned. “This is for after high school. Congratulations on completing, my baby.”
“Thanks dad.”
“I’m leaving now; I have work to do.”
“But you just got here?”
“I’m coming back in the evening.”
“That’s what you always say,” Ludo said sadly. “And I’m alone.”
“Isn’t the maid around?” He looked at her and went on. “I’m coming I Promise,” he went to his car and drove out of the compound.
Ludo waited for her mother. She came in the evenings when Ludo was having supper. After both eating, they went into the study room and Ludo started typing. In most cases, she dosed off after typing and woke up the following morning amazed at her work.
The months that followed, Ludo couldn’t stop writing her story. The more she wrote, the deeper she went into the world she created. She felt like a god because the characters would bend to her will. It was only this time that she felt she had control of something.
