Love Again

Calum is the golden boy, the God of football. He has God-like looks and charms his way through everything. Me, I'm just the scrawny twin brother that looks nothing like him. I don't even cease to exist when my brother is around. I'm just the boring brother that gets A's in every subject. Of course, I'm gay but not that anyone knows but my best friend, Evan. I had a huge crush on Evan, but I didn't want to ruin what we had. He was my only friend and the only person that understood me. The only person that liked me more than my brother was Evan. We were best friends in kindergarten. I, Calum and Evan. We were like the three musketeers, always hanging out and unstoppable. We had each other's backs till high school. Calum tried out for football and everything changed. He started to hang out with those dougchebags he calls friends from the team. He focused a lot more on football, training every day. I still had Evan at least. Evan and I got even closer when Calum left us. We promised to never leave each other's side. Both of us even started studying together so we can get into Harvard. We wanted to travel the world together. Then he died in a car crash with his parents. The only thing I regret was not telling him how much I loved him. Telling him how grateful I was for him staying with me. Evan was my first love, and I was devastated. I shut everyone out. I barely passed finals, I struggled to study because we always studied together. I cried, I cried a lot. So much that my parents worried about me. My parents thought it would be best if we moved to the town they grew up in. I didn't mind because I couldn't stand sitting in class with an empty chair. All those sympathetic looks I get. All the sad looks I get, and people acting as if they cared. Calum, of course, was not happy with the idea. He didn't want to put in a weaker team. He thought the idea was ridiculous because I'm fine. Him leaving all his friends and girlfriend, but my parents didn't listen, and we moved in a matter of days. I promised myself that this would be a start, and I would study to get into Harvard. I would get into Harvard for me and Evan. Well, that was about two years ago, and I'm halfway through my senior year. I still miss Evan to death, but I'll keep living for him. I don't think I'll ever love again, and I'm fine with that. I don't want to love anyone as I loved Evan. I'll just study and get a job that allows me to travel, then settle down with a hundred dogs and cats. I know that sounds lonely, but it's what would make me happy. My brother, of course, will get a scholarship in Harvard because he is the best on the team. He is less sour about us moving, so that's a good thing. He used to act as if I didn't exist at school. At least he says a word or two like hey. Some people don't even know they were brothers or even twins for that matter. It's not as if I don't mind because I just want a smooth and quiet high school before I get out of this hell.