Lydia's POV
My limbs swayed numbly to the music, and in that very moment of looking down, I saw the bright red on the tip of my shoe gradually fade away.
My brain told me that my toes were bleeding, but my feet had long since lost any feeling.
Let's just jump until the end of my life, at least the last breath of air I inhaled into my lungs had the breath of my beloved.
I heard only one sound, I fell straight to the ground, I struggled to catch my breath, because my head lacked oxygen, I saw a white light.
Finally ...... relief?
"What, that's too much to bear?"
The voice of the man across the street seemed to come from hell, cold, hard and without any emotion. Is this really the man I love so much?
"It's only been five hours, don't you even have the strength to talk?" The man asked again.
The man's huge hands cupped my chin, and that was the only warmth I could feel, on his body.
I hadn't danced since I was a child, and five hours of continuous ballet had made me feel like I was coming to the end of my life.
I looked in pain at looked into those silver eyes. "You've changed, you weren't like this before."
I couldn't understand why this man was doing this to me, even if I died here today, he wouldn't get any benefit.
As if the man could see what I was thinking, he sneered and said. "When you killed your sister, you should have thought that today would come."
Tears rushed out of my eyes like a great river breaking, and I kept defending myself loudly like a madman. "I've said countless times that I had nothing to do with the accident, why don't you believe me!"
Sticky snot and saliva mixed together and dripped down my body, but I didn't have the strength to wipe them off anymore.
It was as if I had fallen into a black hole, each such ordeal sapped my strength, and even I couldn't understand why I was obsessed with proving my innocence to this man.
My wretchedness and discomfort made the man feel the pain of revenge. He sneered and pinched my jaw, the creaking sound of bones squeezing and his satanic, eerie voice constantly hitting my eardrums. "If it weren't for you, your sister wouldn't be dead or alive right now, and she'd still be three months pregnant."
The words "three months pregnant" exploded in my ears, I hadn't heard my sister say anything about her pregnancy.
"My sister is pregnant?" I asked, bewildered.
The man withdrew his hand, wiped it off with a towel in disgust, and waved it away as if it were a disgusting person like me.
He gave a contemptuous smile. "What are you pretending to be, isn't that why you did it to your sister?"
I heard the sound of my heart beating strongly, and with every beat it made, it crashed a crack in my chest. Perhaps, before long, it would all shatter.
I never thought that this man who grew up watching me would think of me as so mean and nasty!
I met Connor when I was very young, and since the first time I met him, I have been deeply in love with him. I love his doting gray eyes, I love his sturdy body that stands in front of me when I am in danger, I love his high nose, I love his cool head, and I love everything related to him, whether good or bad.
This crush was buried in my heart for many years, until one day he came to my house. I hid in a corner and plucked up the courage to rush out and confess my love for him, only to see him holding his sister's hand and telling his mom and dad that they were engaged.
He, who had always been aloof, firmly spoke to his parents about his vow to spend the rest of his life taking care of his sister.
It turned out that in his eyes, I was just the sister of the woman he loved, doting because I was young and protecting to please my sister. It turned out that I was just a childish little sister ......
The first time I saw a woman, she was a little girl.
I felt like my whole world had caved in, and the darkness was like a wave coming at me, sweeping me into the ground without a single ray of light. At that moment, I felt really ridiculous, like an ugly duckling hiding in a corner.
Even though this man had become my future brother-in-law, I would always unconsciously follow his every move.
Whenever I see him kissing my sister, my heart hurts like a knife, watching him treat my sister tenderly, my heart is constantly dripping blood.
Some people say it hurts to know how to let go, but I am inclined to abuse myself, the more my heart hurts, the more I can't help but pay attention.
I peered through the window when he and my sister were sitting in the living room. When he was lying in bed with his sister, I peeped through the doorway. I even couldn't resist hacking into his car recorder and obsessively watching his and my sister's every move in the car.
Every late night when it was hard to sleep, I kept asking myself, "Did I do something wrong? My sister and I both like him, but why can't the woman next to him be me? Why is it not my skin that is covered by his lips? Why wasn't I the one sleeping next to his pillow? Why?
When I think more, I naturally dream, and every night, I have Connor by my side. He looked at me with affection, stroked my hair, kissed my cheek, and made the fruit of our love together.
Everything in the dream was so real, his face buried in my neck was hot as fire, his heavy breath on my face still smelled like him, we clasped hands, he tenderly kissed my eyes, my ears ...... almost every night of dreaming I was awakened by spasms in my body.
This sweet and gripping self abuse was addictive and I kept monitoring their lives while I realized it was wrong and kept blaming myself.
I felt like I was split in half, half a voyeur who was madly in love with Connor's primitive love, and the other half an angel of justice living in a civilized society.
But if the primitive love desire can be overcome and controlled by spiritual civilization, how can it be called love?
Every time I tried to stop voyeurism, Connor's figure came back to my mind and I couldn't help wanting to know more about the man who had become my future brother-in-law.
I thought I could only keep hiding in a dark corner watching him live a happy life with my sister, spying on him sowing the seed of love in her body until this seed gradually swells, germinates and matures until it falls out of her body and comes into the world.
Unexpectedly, half a month ago, when my sister and I drove to see the painting exhibition, we unfortunately met with a car accident.
The car suddenly lost control and crashed through the guardrail directly off the bridge, my sister and I fell into the river together, and I lost consciousness not long after.
When I woke up, I was already lying in the ward, listening to my parents said that the rescue team only found me in the car, and sister so far there is no news, may be dead, or may not.
But what I didn't expect was that Connor thought it was all a trick I was playing to get him, and has been torturing me ever since.
Maybe this is God's punishment for this forbidden love, that I shouldn't have thought of him after he was engaged to my sister.
"You acquiesce, don't you." The man's voice rang out again, pulling me out of the whirlwind of memories.
"She's my sister, what good would it do me to get her killed!" I was aggrieved and angry.
"Because she bullied you, because you liked me, because she was pregnant with my child."
This series of speculations made me powerless to fight. In every late night fantasy, I was a princess who lived happily ever after with Connor in a fairy tale, but I never thought that only half a month I would become the most vicious female match in life.
I took out my last ounce of courage to look straight into the silver eyes that had once sunk me and told him firmly. "I will never admit to something I didn't do."
I don't know if it was because of my denial or because he didn't get the truth of the matter from me, but my words seemed to become a witch's spell, and that stoic face turned hideous in an instant.
The man stretched out his big, strong hands and carried me like a chicken through the corridor.
No matter how much I struggled along the way, those big hands didn't let up a bit.
He threw me into the car with force and closed the door fiercely.
Before I had time to put on my seat belt, the man had already stepped on the gas pedal, and my head hit the windshield straight away.
"What are you doing!" After a moment of dizziness, I punched his arm and fought to cry out.
But this pointless struggle did not prevent the car from driving out of the garden.
The man kept running through the traffic lights and the scenery outside the window became blurred by the rapid progress of the car.
"Where are you taking me!" I questioned him in horror.
And he was like a statue, staring straight ahead at the road.
In a flash the car came to a familiar place, the bridge where my sister and I had the accident.
"What do you want?" Because of fear, my tears fell down again without argument.
There was a violent crash and the car crashed into the guardrail like it did half a month ago, flying in mid-air with the pieces of the guardrail.
This nightmarish scene made me scream, and if sound had the power to hold things up, I think the car would have stopped in mid-air by now.
Unfortunately, it couldn't, and I had to fall into the river with the car along with Connor.
