"Calsa, Sweetie," my mom greets me as soon as I enter the house, I was from school.
"Can we talk for a moment dear?" My dad suddenly came from my mom's back. Their faces shouts worry, which also made me worry, eversince, they didn't involve any of us when it comes to their problems.
They seems to be worried about something. Though they didn't tell me what is it, but I always hear them arguing about our finances. My father is just a simple farmer, while my mom is a housewife. She takes care of us. I'm the eldest and I have three more siblings. We live in a small house, which was from our grandparents, in fathers side.
I'm already in senior high school, and I've been studying in public school so we don't have to worry about the tuition fees and all.
"Sweetie, you already know that we're having some financial problem, right?" My mom asks me slowly and softly, like I was a breakable piece of glass.
I just nod my head because of the tension between me and my parents.
A long silence has began, like they didn't want to continue what we are discussing.
"We can't afford to send you to college." My father broke the silence and said those words using his stern and strong voice.
What he said struck me for a couple of minutes, I wanted to cry becuase of what he said. But I know better, they only want whats best for us.
I understand our situation, so I just nooded my head even if it was not what I want. I'm trying my very best to avoid tearing up in front of them.
I badly wanted to finish my studies and be successful. But I need to understand what we are coping up for now. I'm sure my parents also didn't want this to happen, no one wanted this to happen. But what can we do. This poverty is hitting us so badly.
My parents explain everything to me, my siblings also needs to study in high school, and my youngest sister Amy needs to take medicines for her heart.
I can see my parents trying so hard to explain everything to me, like I would hate them because of their decision. But no, I understand them thoroughly.
After the talk with my parents, I decided to go upstairs, and as soon as I enter my room, my tears started to shower and I just cant stop it. I don't know what to do, I feel helpless and bound from freedom. But I know that my parents didn't mean to do that. That my parents also want me to achieve my dreams.
'And I badly wants to give my family a better life.' I just sigh with the thought and think of any plans.
I'll just continue what I was doing, I'll finish my studies for senior high school, then I'll try to find a way, so I can study without my parents worrying about the finances.
Days and weeks and months had passed and It was already my graduation. My family was so proud of me, and so as I. I am one of the honor students.
After the graduation, we immediately go home so we can celebrate already. My siblings were more excited that I was. Its becuase we rarely buy delicious foods, and this celebration is one of those rare events.
When we got home, I immediately went to my room to change my clothes. My phone began to ring, and I saw my cousin calling.
"CONGRATULATIONS!!" People from the other line shouted as soon as I answer the call.
I just gave them a little laugh before saying my 'thanks'.
"Calsa, are you going to study here for college? Please say yes, please say yes!" My cousin Shantel asked.
I inhale deeply as I know that she will be disappointed with my answer.
"I'm sorry Shan, but I'm not attending college." I said, in a soft and whisper like voice, I heard gasps coming from the other line, making me think that what I said really shoked them.
Yes 'them'.
I heard Tita Gladys on the other line as she talks to me, "But sweetie, you need to go to college." She said.
'Well I wish I can.' I just said it in my thought.
"You can always look for scholars here couz," said Shan that made me froze.
'Why didn't I thought about that.' I said to myself as soon as my relatives from mom's side ended the call.
I immediately went downstairs, with a more comfortable clothes, to join my family for our celebrations.
After our little blowout celebration. I decided and think about the scholar my cousin was talking about.
I busy myself for hours, searching about the different kind of sholarships I can get, how can I get them and the requirements I'll need.
After a few hours of searching, I was already making my plans and excuse. I wanted to make sure that everything will be worth it for my efforts.
"I hope, I'll be a lucky star for this one." I murmured to myself as I started listing the scholarships I'll try to take.
