Peter POV:
I trotted slowly, it will be a miserable day. I was seething, but the weather was encouraging enough; It was a chilling morning, there has been an heavy downpour earlier,the cold winter wind had with it clouds so sombre and a rain so penetrating.
I knew all eyes were on me, everyone in the school already knew, I was quite popular. The same question was on everybody's mind, Why was I in school today. I couldn't answer that either. I lost my mom yesterday, Every normal human being would have stayed at home today or atleast be anywhere else but here. I wasn't normal then. I walked slowly towards the class I was a bit late, I guess I could be pardoned for that. My eyes were red, from a sleepless night not tears. I haven't been able to squeeze out a single tear. I was far too relieved to cry. She has been in the hospital for the past 2weeks feeling excruciating pain. I could see the pain in her eyes. she also wanted it to end. The pain was too much for her to bear. She had become very lean and pale in the past few days. It was messing up my visual memories of her. I couldn't see past her pale face in my head in contrast to her radiant and chubby healthy self. The cancer ate every bit of her and left her as an empty shell. It was such a depression sight which will haunt me forever. I really loved her but didn't get the chance to bond with her. I was so busy living out school on a high. All I ever tought about was getting girls and winning the next football matches. I was a crucial member of the school football perhaps the best. My school football team is one of the best in the district. Football matches meant a chance to win and get more love from girls from both our school and whichever school we were up against. I was mostly the star of the show and I did savor those moments. It was always a thrill.
I tried to bond with her in the last few days. I skipped football practices and went directly to the hospital from school. I made little conversation and humored her. she found it difficult to talk and it grew worse daily till she couldn't anymore. I watched her fade away on the hospital bed. It was such an horrible feeling to watch someone you love waste away while you could nothing but stare. A couple of my friends from the football team and my best friend Ralph visited often in the hospital. They always tried to cheer me up, their gesture seemed sincere but I would rather have them not visiting. There was an underlying feeling they came to see me at my most vulnerable state. Too see if I had cracked under pressure. I always carried an air of supremacy around whenever I walked. They came to to see if I still had that pride. Their visitation seemed sincere and was paid out of concern but the feeling was still there.
The most depressing part was Dad not being with her in the hospital till she died. Dad always travelled for business, he was rarely around. I couldn't blame him for that, I was also busy maintaining a classic life from him being a successful businessman was why I had so much access to smoney and maintain a classic Alpha male lifestyle. He flew in from outside the country when he heard she dead. He cried so bitterly while I watched In anger. I know he really loves her and the feelings was obviously mutual, I tought it was enough reason to be at her bedside at her final moments. She would have seeked solace with both of us beside her to make of for the years of neglect which she never complained about. She was always quite contented with seeing me happy from Winning a match for the team or getting a girl I was eyeing for so long and my Dad from making a successful business trip. Neither of us noticed she was falling Ill, which she kept to herself. I did noticed she seemed weak and tired but I assumed it was stress from taking care of the house. I didn't realize she was very sick until it was so late. She said the doctor told her, her condition was very critical. She didn't want to bother or worry either of us and kept it to herself.
I know she didn't bother to tell us because neither of us ever showed any concern. I felt distraughted at every tought of it. I knew why didn't stay back at home, I was scared my guilt will eat me up in my silence. My monsters will use my idleness against me. I will hide among people where they can't haunt me.
I walked into the classroom, A teacher was in class already. It was the Biology Teacher Mr. Whitehead; he seemed like a good man and a gentle soul perhaps one of the class favorite teacher. He seemed so loved for a number of reason I was oblivion to. but I rarely pay attention in his class. I was a backbencher, I was either gisting with my friends or surfing through the media on my phone.
I felt so many pair of eyes set on me, I greeted Mr. White who also stared as I walked to my usual sit.
He called me back
"I heard what happened today Mr. Ben, I'm so sorry about the death of your Mother. May her soul rest in peace" he said
"Thank you sir" I replied
I saw his mouth opening again but he shut it immediately. I knew he wanted to ask me the obvious question. Why was I in school today. He refrained from it. He knew it was none of his business, I respected and appreciated him for that.
I walked back to my sit
"Hey man, I'm so sorry about your loss "
"Thank You "
"I and the rest of the football team planned to pay you a visit at home today. We didn't know you will come to school"
" I appreciated your concern "
"I'm so sorry man, may her soul rest in peace "
"Amen"
I sighed. I knew I was going to hear a lot of those word today.
I was right. I was treated like an egg about to crack. I recieved condolences from literally everyone, both familiar and unfamiliar faces. Each was the same statement. I was starting to get frustrated and irritated with hearing the words over and over again. I was not comfortable of being pitied by everyone. I knew I should have stayed home to fight my demons, It was better than the endless stream of condolences. I isolated myself on a chair at a secluded part of the school and sat down alone. I wanted to avoid snapping at anyone, it would be unfair. They all had a lot of empathy for me, it was appreciated but not needed. What I needed was to be treated like everybody else, certainly not like someone about to break anytime. It would keep me reminded of what I was so desperate to forget and get over.
I was lost in my toughts. I heard the sound of footsteps and a twig break behind me. I snapped back to see who it was. I was livid, can't I have a moment to myself
