*Plagiarism is the crime of stealing someone's art when you already a masterpiece.*
"Happy birthday, Daddy. Happy birthday, Daddy. Happy--", my tears solely explode as if it does not want to be comprised inside my eyes before I finish the birthday song for my father.
It has been three months since he left me. Still, his presence always haunts me down and it makes me feel like a fool longing for something that is already gone.
"What is your birthday wish, Dad?"
I pulled closely the most expensive fountain cake I found in the five-star bakery restaurant and wipe off my tears. Daddy does not want to see me crying.
"Oh, I hear it! Did you want to be reborn? I got your back, Daddy!"
I open the champagne and fill in the two glasses.
"To me and my honorable Father", I tossed the two sips and drink both at the same time.
I refilled the goblets and finish it once again faster than 186,000 miles per second of the speed of light.
I refilled for the third time then feel the dizziness circling in my head.
I refilled one more time until the bottle could not send any pomeline- flavored wine.
I carelessly dragged myself to the floor and kneel in front of my father's dead body. "You know, Dad. I almost try all the ways just to follow you there. As in, all the ways. But I always fail. I always fail... to kill myself, Dad", I mockingly said while forcing myself to seat straight, fighting the effects of alcohol.
I nodded slowly, sensing the anger rising in my whole system.
"Why, why? Why can't you just stand up there and live with me!"
I pushed away the cart of the cake making it scatters on the floor like snow in the cold winter.
"Dad, please wake up. Please...", these familiar ocean-depth feelings hugged me and won't let me escape another long night.
Even in magic, I believe now just to fill the void of hopelessness that he would not come back.
"Let's celebrate your victory, Dad! Look, we made it. I already graduated! The party is waiting for you, Daddy. Please, I wanted to listen to your congratulations for me", I will willingly sell my soul just to hear his voice again calling my name out loud.
I hold his cold hands, waiting for him to press mine tightly like he always does whenever I doubt my capabilities.
" If that is the only way. If that is the only way... then, let find him for you. I will find, I promise you ", I uttered while locking that commitment inside my heart.
"Just sleep a bit more time, Daddy. I'll make sure, you will catch a glimpse of the gray sky one more time ."
I put my head above his chest and close my exhausted, teary eyes.
"Whatever it takes", I whispered.
"Nixon Chantilly, don't die yet. I need your soul." I add his face to my mental note and all the details I gathered about him.
"I will search for you Nixon, wait for me", then I fell asleep.
