ELLIE
The rain is always so soothing on days like these. Tucked away in a chair in the corner of my room, I flip the page of my book. 'Oh Mr. Darcy how could you be so cruel' I'm broken away from my mental escape at the sound of the large door creaking open.
"Ellie, you need to eat something." Gracelynn, my night nurse, signs. Replacing my lunch tray with the dinner tray in her hands. "Keeping your strength up is the key to beating this."
Her voice is always so sweet to hear on my bad days. Peaking up from the book and sliding my legs off the chair by the window, "I didn't feel great during lunch today, what's for dinner tonight?" Giving my best effort to return her cheerful smile, my body drags to the couch beside her. I don't have friends my age, she's the closest friend I've had since middle school. Reluctantly lifting the lid of the dinner plate. "Well at least it's not as revolting as lunch." I'm met with a bland colored meal of chicken and rice. Reaching for the fruit cup at the edge of the tray, I lean back against the side of the couch. "SOOO, how are you and Ben?" I tease.
"We're good, Hes busy working on a job right now." A hint of sadness etched into her words no matter how hard she tries to hide it.
She always tries to prevent from bringing sad topics up around me. Most people do. That's a big reason I don't have anyone anymore. They all got tired of trying and found it to exhausting to be cheerful with me. I get it I have cancer, but I don't need everyone to be nothing but happy around me. I let out a long deep breath and flinch. My body still aches from the last round of chemo.
"Is it getting bad again?" She asks, already knowing some of the answers. "I can go get your pain medication." Before I even speak, she's up off the couch and already to the door. "Eat the fruit and angel cake before I get back!" She's being very anxious tonight.
Following orders, I finish off what I can with the food and sip on the tea awaiting her return. I'm 3 hours away from home and all my family, so being alone is something I'm used to. Although, I can't say the staff doesn't make it their mission to keep me entertained. I'm able to walk the halls and entertain the younger patients I encounter on my good days. But I've been having more bad days then good recently.
Ding...
My laptop alerts to a message just as Gracelynn walks back into the room with my medication. Her eyes meet mine. Being the only one to know of me making a dating profile, other than my sister, she gives me a huge grin. I'm convinced they both have it in their heads that if I find someone to fall in love with it'll be the final push, I need to beat this. However, we all know I'm running on borrowed time. At my last screening a few days ago, we got a confirmation that the chemo isn't helping. We're supposed to meet in a week to decide on a new treatment plan.
"Go ahead." I nod in the direction of my laptop and let her peak at the new message. She hands me my medication and strides to the bedside table.
"HI, I'm Theo," She reads glancing up at me to check that I take my pills before continuing. "I'm not entirely sure how to go about this since I'm new to the online dating scene," he sounds ancient. "I'm an army medic stationed out of Fort Mabry. I'm 26. Sagittarius. I love any kind of outdoor activity. Coffee addict. kind of comes with the territory, I guess. Hah... I'm very uncertain of where to go from here but I hope you're having a great day." Gracelynn smiles up at me and seems far to giddy. "He's cute." Oh, she must have opened his profile to see his pictures. "Let's see. Oh, how about this," She starts to type.
I rush up to her but fail to reach the computer in time. "You didn't." My face grows hot, and my heart rate begins to set off the machine. 'Damn it. It's impossible to hide my anxiety with this shit attached to me.' She seems to take the hint and starts to read what she sent.
"Hey there, I'm Evangeline, you can call me Ellie though. I'm currently taking online classes. Haven't quite figured out what to major in yet. I'm 19, Scorpio. I'm not much of a coffee drinker; but a good book and hot tea is always a win for me. I love the outdoors but I'm not able to get out as much as I would like too. My day has been pretty good, slowly getting better. How is yours?" She looks up pleased with herself. And I let out a huge sigh.
"Thank you for not saying what I thought you planned to say." My fear was hollow. I know I should tell him, but I don't want pity. There's been too much of that in my life. And I guess Gracelynn knows that better than anyone else.
"You can't hide it forever, but I know you'll find the right time to tell him if this goes anywhere." She glances down at her watch and throws her head back. "I have to get back to work." She points at the laptop and the food "I want half that plate cleared, and I want details." Rushing out the doors and leaving me to my silence again.
Ding...
Positioning myself comfortable back on my bed, I pulled my laptop to me and began to assess the man Gracelynn decided was worthy of a reply. Hmm. 'Dirty blonde hair, grey-blue eyes, tattoos' well he's not bad looking.
'Who am I kidding he's a damn God in human form' I'm practically drooling looking at his pictures. Everything about him turns my insides to mush and causes my heart to increase beats.
Ding...
Theo: I wasn't expecting a reply ha-ha my buddies were saying i sounded like an old man. It's nice to meet you.
Ellie: lol it's okay. A little old fashion isn't bad every now and then. It's nice to meet you as well. So, what brings you to this size of the dating pool. Someone like you must be able to walk up to any girl on the street and have her swoon.
Theo: meh, I focus a lot of effort into my career and don't have much time to go out and search. But my buddies were giving me shit and the next thing I know they've convinced me to make an account. Not complaining as much as I was... now that you've accepted a conversation with me.
A light giggle escapes my mouth causing my breath to hitch. It's been a while since I've heard that sound.
Theo: you truly are beautiful. How is it you're not already taken or doing classes at college campus?
Ellie: it's just not really in the books right now... my sister and best friend convinced me to make one as well... didn't think I had much time for dating, but they wanted me to have someone and figured this was the best route.
Theo: so, does that mean you're opposed to going out for coffee/tea? As much as I love talking on this app, I prefer getting to know each other face to face. If possible...
Ellie: I wouldn't be opposed to meeting. There's a cute little Cafe we can meet at near the hospital.
Theo: I have training the next 3 weeks, but we can meet up there the day after I get back. If that's okay. Say 4 p.m. the 23rd.
Ellie: it's a date! I got to get to bed I'm exhausted. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Theo: absolutely! sweet dreams!
Taking one last glance at his pictures I catch myself smiling genuinely for the first time in months. He really is handsome. Suddenly a wave of pain rips into my body and my eyes begin to blur. 'Help' I grasp for my emergency button, but my vision is double and blurring faster. Before I black out, I feel cold hands gripping my shoulders. "Ellie?" A sweet voice rings in my ears before finally fading out into silence.
